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You can skip movies 10 times but never go back.
Tina possesses the gift of telekinesis, allowing her to move things and see the future, using the power of her mind. But when a devious doctor tries to exploit her ability, the gift becomes a hellish curse. Tina unwittingly unchains the merciless bloodthirsty Jason Voorhees from his watery grave, igniting a bloodbath that ends in the ultimate showdown in strength of mind versus pure evil matter.
First and foremost, it should be known that of all the well-known horror franchises the Friday the 13th series is my favorite. I think of the other long-running, highly successful series like: Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street and to a much lesser extent, Hellraiser, and Friday the 13th has the overall best track record. I enjoy each sequel almost on an equal level with a few minor exceptions, whereas I only like one sequel from the Halloween series. With 10 movies strictly involving Jason Voorhees (excluding Freddy vs Jason and that remake), I enjoyed all of them (enjoyed may be a strong term for Jason Takes Manhattan but I didn't hate it).
The slasher boom had basically two prototypes…
Kane Hodder weed wacking the good doctor. Melissa a real bitch but a sweetheart. Nick one of the smartest characters in the entire franchise. Tina the worst final girl. A WTF ending. The saving grace: Robin's boobs.
There's a legend around here. A killer buried, but NOT dead. A curse on Crystal Lake, a death curse. Jason Voorhees' curse.
Back from the Ottawa Comiccon and I have the urgent need to rewatch a few films because of certain interactions I had there. It was my first experience at any type of convention like that and I have to say I had a blast. Being a horror fan the biggest draw for me going there were guests Bruce Campbell, Robert Englund and Kane Hodder. Little did I know Hodder would leave the biggest impression on me.
May 9th, 2014 is the day I first met Kane Hodder and started realizing just how awesome he is. The first…
dear telekinetic tina,
please don't feel guilty about accidentally murdering your abusive cardigan dad. it wasn't really your fault. you didn't know any better. you were a little girl who had an incredible gift and no one was there to teach you how to use it. when you did finally meet someone, all he wanted was to exploit you, which makes sense, because historically psychiatry and medicine have been used by men to punish women and benefit financially and professionally from their (our) trauma. i'm sorry jason took the right to murder him away from you. the only upside to this is that you will without a doubt meet more shitty men because all men are garbage, and you'll be able to kill them with your brain powers if that's what you want. it's okay if you don't, but... it's definitely okayer if you do.
bye, tina. i love you. your friend, me.
Though it's hokier touches and some formula tediousness undercut the strengths of "Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood," this chapter of the lengthy horror franchise earns points for adding, uh, new blood to the plot. This new blood comes in the form of a telekinetic teen who, ultimately, battles the hulking Jason Voorhees in an attempt to vanquish the lumbering stalker. It all makes for a watchable genre film.
The film has its share of weaknesses, but its addition of the telekinetic character enlivens the narrative. That narrative misses ample opportunities to set off in new and more interesting directions and eventually loses steam as it settles into its traditional formula of violent slayings, but it has a…
Bad news Crews.
Someone needs to make a film called Crystal Lake Realtors because selling ice to Eskimos would be a walk in the park to these real estate agents. Crystal Lake and it's small community have been witness to over 60 killings at this point taking place during 5 mass murders over the course of 12 to 15 years. Yet it doesn't seem to effect the real estate much as people are still buying and renting cabins around Crystal Lake.
My math on that could be fuzzy as I'm roughing it, and I'm only counting 5 mass murders because I don't think Part V: A New Beginning actually takes place anywhere near Crystal Lake. Also the 12-15…
This could have been Freddy vs. Jason! Instead we get a girl with special abilities taking on Jason, sounds good in theory. Sadly it doesn't really make the translation to screen.
Jason's dead JK JUMP SCARE x100
I have always loved Tina and wished dearly that she got a chance to murder her abusive, gaslighting doctor - that would have really brought this to a peak. Her love interest is competent and very kind to her, which is all a psychic girl could ask for (that and gasoline). I really enjoyed all the Teens in this one, especially Newly Stoned Girl and Glasses Girl and even Bitchy Rich Girl - actually, I appreciated that the women were much better characterized than the dudes.
Biggest downside is that Tina's abusive dad gets kind of redeemed at the end, but I guess he's still trapped in a half-life in a hell lake, so it's not TOO redeeming.
And this ends my Friday the 13th marathon because I don't really care about Jason vs. any other villains or whatever.
Houston, we have superpowers! This franchise has officially gone off the rails, but in the best way possible! From Part 5 onward, the filmmakers finally realized how silly these movies were and began to embrace it, and now we have a movie where a girl with telekinetic powers fights off an undead psychopathic killer, and I enjoyed the absolute hell out of it! More blood, more fun, more chills and kills, the seventh chapter in the Friday the 13th saga (yeah, it's a saga, deal with it), is batshit crazy, it knows exactly what it is, has a badass protagonist in Tina, and is a more than welcome addition to this ridiculous franchise!
I love the design of Jason in this one!! He's a decomposing corpse and they even give him the wound continuity from the other F13 flicks. I like that Jason finally found a worthy adversary as it'd be another decade & a half until he'd finally get to face off with Freddy which had been in talks since before this was made. Call it Carrie vs Jason, i just call it entertainment.
aka Friday the 13th Part VII: Carrie Vs. Jason
Goofy ass movie
This movie really blew. Worst one yet. Felt like a bad elm street sequel they just shoved Jason into. The effects were pretty crappy/non-existent. Also, I could not take the lead character seriously because she looks exactly like Kate McKinnon. (not that I would have been able to, otherwise)
aka Friday the 13th Part VII: Carrie Vs. Jason
After the disappointingly weak Part VI we are back on track with another average instalment, but Part VII certainly gets points for effort.
The opening 30-seconds is an edited down version of Part VI (in my opinion the best way to watch that film) but, most importantly, it serves as a reminder of how we last saw Jason anchored to the bottom of Crystal Lake. Next we meet a young girl who, angry at her parents…
so much of horror's appeal for me has to do with breaking apart the influences of patriarchal-heteronormative-cis/sexist-white supremacist-neoliberal capitalism & all…
a list that is trying to contain every horror film made that is not lost and is found on the…