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You can skip movies 10 times but never go back.
Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by Presidential order. This forces the G.I. Joes into not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.
The film goes thus:
Kind of funny dialogue.
The Rock's absurd neck (seriously, it's as wide as his head!) and shoulders.
Holy shit that was unexpected.
Cobra Commander actually looks and sounds like Cobra Commander.
Ninjas sword-fighting while abseiling.
Jonathan Pryce being so hammy you could slice him up and make a sandwich.
More of The Rock's absurd neck and shoulders.
Misogynistic jabs by Bruce Willis at the resident action chick.
Surprising emphasis on gunplay and hand to hand combat rather than explosions.
Actually rooting for Cobra so I can see more Jonathan Pryce.
Damn, that trailer spoiled A LOT.
Massive epic climax.
Yeah, it was good.
For all its undeniable crappiness I do have a fondness for the original G.I. Joe movie as I warmed to its cheesy charms and Sienna Miller dressed in leather. However, Stephen Sommers’ film was not the runaway success the studio expected and because of this the delayed sequel has seen wholesale changes. With the exception of the odd franchise favourite, most notably Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, the original cast have been unceremoniously dumped in favour of a new breed of blander Joe.
Although it follows on from the first film, not that anybody can really remember the original’s plot, the GI Joe team are ruthlessly streamlined leaving a core of five Joes against the might of a growing Cobra…
Being a child of the 80s my go-to toy was of course G.I. Joe. Other then the toys, the cartoon was cool and all but it always bothered me that they had laser beams shooting out of every single weapon they had. Machine gun, pistol, tank cannon, it didn't matter. If it shoots, it shoots a laser beam. Even as a kid I thought that was bullshit.
For me I got my G.I. Joe fix from the Marvel Comics published G.I. Joe comic. The series was surprisingly realistic when it came to covert ops and military tactics. It was written by Larry Hama, a former firearms and explosive ordnance expert for the U.S. Army that served in…
A lot of people are saying that this is better than the first, and I have to call a bit of bullshit on that. As inoffensive as this film is, it is also on the opposite spectrum of stupid fun that Rise of Cobra is.
See, as dumb as Rise of Cobra is, it at least knows it, and lends itself to its own nice little campy tone. It runs with the stupid instead of trying to hide it, and I find that infinitely more enjoyable.
Retaliation, while not masquerading as anything more than dumb fun, doesn't have the same campy tone. It takes everything in the film a little too seriously, and thus, when something insanely stupid happens…
"They call it water board, but I never get bored"
A few years ago, when I was but a young and naive FilmApe, I longed for the days when B movies existed, and cursed the modern days where all movies are just lumped together as one thing that are all comparable to each other. But, then it occurred to me that I was looking at things all wrong and that a new perspective would help me see things better. It is not like B movies stopped being made, they just got elevated to a status where they are no longer considered B movies. So, I began to look for films that are the modern equivalent of what use to be…
Great? No. Entertaining as fuck? Yes!
LOL @ RZA totally didn't fit in this.
Byung-hun Lee is awesome.
Adrianne Palicki was so gorgeous makes me want to go and rub one out.
Well, this sure was something else. It felt more like two vaguely related movies edited together than one coherent one. It was also very different technically, almost as if it was directed by three different persons. The story felt taken directly from Hideo Kojimas trash bin and while it is unintentionally hilarious they play the story straight.
Wow I remember this being a lot better the first time I saw it. Not terrible just extremely meh.
500 DIFFERENT FILMS IN 2016
I don't care what people say, I really enjoy this one. The theatrical cut was a mixed bag but they released an Alternate Cut as a Best Buy exclusive and it's a far better cut of the film, not sure why this is not the film they put in theaters. I find it endlessly re-watchable and fun.
More Lee Byung-hun is the best aspect of this film. The first film was a bit too silly, this film is a bit too bland. This keeps happening with certain films: the Fantastic Four film and its reboot, Ghost Rider and its sequel, and now GI Joe. At least these films plots are mindless and stupid rather than embarrassing. In terms of watching something with explosions and a plot you'll barely remember once its over *just like the first one*, it makes for a rental.
still too many terrible snake eyes scenes. the movie is split. half of it is mission impossible type shenanigans with the Rock and friends. But every once in awhile the movie will take a break to deal with the Snake eyes subplot. Which is STILL boring. The conflict
This movie came out in 2013. should’ve learned from X-Men. They dealt with having a cast of silly named heroes without it sounding corny and lame literally every time someone spoke. X-Men: First Class came out in 2011!
even the rock can't save it
the movie is actually pretty good when it’s not doing anything that clearly GI Joe related. They’ll be a few good scenes, with some cool action or decent…
Che film di merda. Non pensavo ma é peggio del primo. Una roba che non si puo'guardare.
I didn't even watch most of It, but I could already tell you that it sucks.
I really disliked this movie in theaters (How do you make a G.I JOE film starring The Rock and make it BORING!?), but the promise of an 'extended' cut that was supposed to radically change the films peaked my interest - and I found myself very much surprised at how much I enjoyed the action this time around. It's insane that editors can cut out people being shot or a dozen punches being thrown in fist fight, and still expect it to play - that's the MEAT of the scene - and now with all that stuff added back in it flowed so much better. Plus, a whole bunch of character beats were cut out originally (Why?) and have been…
If Lee Byung-hun wasn't in this film, there would be no reason for it to exist.
originally this list had a very specific focus- now it's basically just english-language action cinema post-matrix.
Ranked by The Rock's Rockness.
Since it's THEROCKTOBER, I'm gonna try to watch all the Rock movies I haven't seen,…