I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by Presidential order. This forces the G.I. Joes into not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.
For all its undeniable crappiness I do have a fondness for the original G.I. Joe movie as I warmed to its cheesy charms and Sienna Miller dressed in leather. However, Stephen Sommers’ film was not the runaway success the studio expected and because of this the delayed sequel has seen wholesale changes. With the exception of the odd franchise favourite, most notably Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, the original cast have been unceremoniously dumped in favour of a new breed of blander Joe.
Although it follows on from the first film, not that anybody can really remember the original’s plot, the GI Joe team are ruthlessly streamlined leaving a core of five Joes against the might of a growing Cobra…
The film goes thus:
Kind of funny dialogue.
The Rock's absurd neck (seriously, it's as wide as his head!) and shoulders.
Holy shit that was unexpected.
Cobra Commander actually looks and sounds like Cobra Commander.
Ninjas sword-fighting while abseiling.
Jonathan Pryce being so hammy you could slice him up and make a sandwich.
More of The Rock's absurd neck and shoulders.
Misogynistic jabs by Bruce Willis at the resident action chick.
Surprising emphasis on gunplay and hand to hand combat rather than explosions.
Actually rooting for Cobra so I can see more Jonathan Pryce.
Damn, that trailer spoiled A LOT.
Massive epic climax.
Yeah, it was good.
Being a child of the 80s my go-to toy was of course G.I. Joe. Other then the toys, the cartoon was cool and all but it always bothered me that they had laser beams shooting out of every single weapon they had. Machine gun, pistol, tank cannon, it didn't matter. If it shoots, it shoots a laser beam. Even as a kid I thought that was bullshit.
For me I got my G.I. Joe fix from the Marvel Comics published G.I. Joe comic. The series was surprisingly realistic when it came to covert ops and military tactics. It was written by Larry Hama, a former firearms and explosive ordnance expert for the U.S. Army that served in…
A lot of people are saying that this is better than the first, and I have to call a bit of bullshit on that. As inoffensive as this film is, it is also on the opposite spectrum of stupid fun that Rise of Cobra is.
See, as dumb as Rise of Cobra is, it at least knows it, and lends itself to its own nice little campy tone. It runs with the stupid instead of trying to hide it, and I find that infinitely more enjoyable.
Retaliation, while not masquerading as anything more than dumb fun, doesn't have the same campy tone. It takes everything in the film a little too seriously, and thus, when something insanely stupid happens…
"They call it water board, but I never get bored"
A few years ago, when I was but a young and naive FilmApe, I longed for the days when B movies existed, and cursed the modern days where all movies are just lumped together as one thing that are all comparable to each other. But, then it occurred to me that I was looking at things all wrong and that a new perspective would help me see things better. It is not like B movies stopped being made, they just got elevated to a status where they are no longer considered B movies. So, I began to look for films that are the modern equivalent of what use to be…
Things G.I. Joe: Retaliation have:
Soldiers, minion soldiers, white ninja, black ninja, yellow ninja, red ninja, minion ninjas, ninjutsu, brawl, martial arts, parkour, free running, fencing, sai, kunai, sword, sword fight, flying sword fights, hiking sword fights, hiking, wall running, wall running sword fight bangee jump, bangee jump sword fight, zip-line, zip-line sword fight, sword fight with firearms, gunkata, gunfight, revolvers, pistols, machine guns, sub-machine guns, heavy machine guns, mounted machine guns, sniper rifles, sniper rifles with guided bullets, grenade launcher, grenade, anti-aircraft weapons, missile launcher, nuke, nuke explosion, exploding firefly, people with cool names like Firefly, Cobra Commander, Roadblock, Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, Snake and Cobra being enemies, city being destroy, helicopter attack, gunfight with cars, house full…
Although its action sequences and visuals are a step up from Rise of Cobra's, G.I. Joe: Retaliation suffers from a story that's dumb even by action film standards, and it unfortunately can't decide if it wants to be a sequel or a reboot, and it backfires as both.
I ventured out cautiously to see A Good Day to Die Hard, but was so wary of being depressed by it that I leapt at the chance to see G.I. Joe instead when my movie buddy Lee talked me into it. Not sure which film would've been worse. This has a different tone to the original G.I. Joe film a few years ago: less sci-fi outlandish, less goofy and silly, more intense and pure-action focused. But it's still so dumb that I think the earlier installment was preferable - better to be all out ridiculous and juvenile than this more violent bomb-fest. I liked the posturing, flexing cast just fine, but the dialogue isn't really written or delivered with any…
In the current blockbuster climate, this is about as good of a GI Joe movie as we probably could have gotten. The movie is evenly split between "in name-only" references and elements that feel like they could have been pulled out of the cartoon. The vehicles, Cobra's plan, the ninjas and Firefly all pretty "true" to the material and a lot of fun, while the change of Cobra Commander's voice (huge boner killer), the elimination of Destro (the coolest LOOKING character by far) and the non-resemblance of a number of the characters (Zartan, Roadblock, Lady Jaye) to their original were each a big letdown.
Overall, an above average action movie, one of the better adaptations of 80s source material as-of-late and a decent GI Joe movie.
Actual text message I received a few hours after seeing this movie:
"I just realized we watched gi joe retaliation today and I'm sorry."
Yeah i really like these kind of movies. They are not special, and you don't have to think when you watch these kind of movies. But maybe it's because i have some sentimental times about G.I. Joe :p
And don't shoot me because of this, but i like Dwayne Johnson & channing Tatum as actors :)
All the actors played very nice, i really have nothing to complain about that. And the way it all looked was also very nice. Also very nice special effects.
I really gonna watch this again.
Really loved the first one. The sequel… well… nah. It is starting strong (the first 15 minutes) but ultimately failing in many areas: Unlikeable and interchangeable leads (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is the big exception), smaller set pieces (not the epic scope with land-/water-/air-battles) the change from a bubbly blockbuster to a dark and gritty tone and at last a more ludicrous story than the original movie.
Wow, this was, wow...complete garbage, appealing to the lowest common denominator, I guess pre-teen boys, but hardly making any sense. I have no connection to any GI Joe cartoon or paraphanelia as a child (I was totally a Turtles kid, and then an X-men/Batman kid), so there's no nostalgia for me. I was mildly entertained by the beginning with the Rock and Tatum's chemistry but that quickly disappeared. The movie was a moving video game, with nonsense plot points, plot twists, and a climactic ending. Did he just say, "everybody wants to rule the world," isn't that a song, did he just play chicken with nuclear weapons, this movie is ridiculous. It's slightly better than the first, but that's like comparing bowel movements.
One of the few times that a sequel surpasses the original. Granted, that bar wasn't set very high.
Sequel to Rise of the Cobra is a better film than the original, and though it boasts some lacking aspects, such as formulaic dialogue, the film is gripping, thrilling and edge of your seat action from start to finish. I found this follow up to have a better plot than the original, and it boasted some decent enough performances to make for a good, well constructed popcorn film. I think the film has its fair share of flaws, but overall, it’s an entertaining film to watch, and as far as sequels go, this one improves on the elements that were present in the first film. I really enjoyed The Rock in this one, and I also enjoyed Jonathan Pryce, who…
I rank all the 2013 films I see in my personal order from best to worst!
This is my ongoing ranking of all the films I see released in 2013. I will make a separate top…