I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by Presidential order. This forces the G.I. Joes into not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.
For all its undeniable crappiness I do have a fondness for the original G.I. Joe movie as I warmed to its cheesy charms and Sienna Miller dressed in leather. However, Stephen Sommers’ film was not the runaway success the studio expected and because of this the delayed sequel has seen wholesale changes. With the exception of the odd franchise favourite, most notably Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, the original cast have been unceremoniously dumped in favour of a new breed of blander Joe.
Although it follows on from the first film, not that anybody can really remember the original’s plot, the GI Joe team are ruthlessly streamlined leaving a core of five Joes against the might of a growing Cobra…
The film goes thus:
Kind of funny dialogue.
The Rock's absurd neck (seriously, it's as wide as his head!) and shoulders.
Holy shit that was unexpected.
Cobra Commander actually looks and sounds like Cobra Commander.
Ninjas sword-fighting while abseiling.
Jonathan Pryce being so hammy you could slice him up and make a sandwich.
More of The Rock's absurd neck and shoulders.
Misogynistic jabs by Bruce Willis at the resident action chick.
Surprising emphasis on gunplay and hand to hand combat rather than explosions.
Actually rooting for Cobra so I can see more Jonathan Pryce.
Damn, that trailer spoiled A LOT.
Massive epic climax.
Yeah, it was good.
Being a child of the 80s my go-to toy was of course G.I. Joe. Other then the toys, the cartoon was cool and all but it always bothered me that they had laser beams shooting out of every single weapon they had. Machine gun, pistol, tank cannon, it didn't matter. If it shoots, it shoots a laser beam. Even as a kid I thought that was bullshit.
For me I got my G.I. Joe fix from the Marvel Comics published G.I. Joe comic. The series was surprisingly realistic when it came to covert ops and military tactics. It was written by Larry Hama, a former firearms and explosive ordnance expert for the U.S. Army that served in…
A lot of people are saying that this is better than the first, and I have to call a bit of bullshit on that. As inoffensive as this film is, it is also on the opposite spectrum of stupid fun that Rise of Cobra is.
See, as dumb as Rise of Cobra is, it at least knows it, and lends itself to its own nice little campy tone. It runs with the stupid instead of trying to hide it, and I find that infinitely more enjoyable.
Retaliation, while not masquerading as anything more than dumb fun, doesn't have the same campy tone. It takes everything in the film a little too seriously, and thus, when something insanely stupid happens…
"They call it water board, but I never get bored"
A few years ago, when I was but a young and naive FilmApe, I longed for the days when B movies existed, and cursed the modern days where all movies are just lumped together as one thing that are all comparable to each other. But, then it occurred to me that I was looking at things all wrong and that a new perspective would help me see things better. It is not like B movies stopped being made, they just got elevated to a status where they are no longer considered B movies. So, I began to look for films that are the modern equivalent of what use to be…
Things G.I. Joe: Retaliation have:
Soldiers, minion soldiers, white ninja, black ninja, yellow ninja, red ninja, minion ninjas, ninjutsu, brawl, martial arts, parkour, free running, fencing, sai, kunai, sword, sword fight, flying sword fights, hiking sword fights, hiking, wall running, wall running sword fight bangee jump, bangee jump sword fight, zip-line, zip-line sword fight, sword fight with firearms, gunkata, gunfight, revolvers, pistols, machine guns, sub-machine guns, heavy machine guns, mounted machine guns, sniper rifles, sniper rifles with guided bullets, grenade launcher, grenade, anti-aircraft weapons, missile launcher, nuke, nuke explosion, exploding firefly, people with cool names like Firefly, Cobra Commander, Roadblock, Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, Snake and Cobra being enemies, city being destroy, helicopter attack, gunfight with cars, house full…
So much action. So much boring.
This 2013 American science fiction action film is directed by Jon M. Chu and serves as both a sequel to 2009's ‘G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra’, and also as a franchise reboot. The film stars Dwayne Johnson, Adrianna Palicki, Ray Park, Byung-hun Lee, Jonathan Pryce, D.J Cotrona, Channing Tatum and Bruce Willis.
After the G.I Joe unit is all but wiped out in a military ambush by COBRA after attempting to retrieve stolen nuclear warheads, COBRA agent Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), now in the place of the US President (Pryce) via a nanoboat disguise, declares that the G.I Joe’s were traitors who were stopped as they attempted to steal the warheads to use against American soil. Only Roadblack (Johnson), Flint…
Sure, there is such a thing as a tyranny of low expectations, but sometimes, low expectations can salvage what is, admittedly, a pretty idiotic film.
A complete list of things that interested everybody acting (except, maybe, the RZA, who is in his normal, such as it is, weird form) in the film including the Rock, who is usually better than this: a paycheck.
A complete list of things that interest the director John Chu based on this movie as evidence: ninjas.
An example of a movie featuring ninjas that includes all of the best ideas of this, and a dozen much better ones and is a much better movie besides: Ninja Assassin</> (2009) d. James McTeigue.
I couldn't even finish watching this movie. I only got 45 minutes into it. Avoid at all costs.
Entertaining film, almost as good as the first one.
Remember, based on toys.
It could be the childhood nostalgia talking, but I enjoy these movies. They're not serious, they know how to have fun and not bullshit their audience the way how something like Transformers does. If you're just out to watch a good buddy action film, you'll get that for about half an hour, then The Rock and Tara from Friday Night Lights kick a lot of ass. If that's what you want, then go hard. If not, it's not for you. Just turn your brain off and enjoy the awesome fight scenes.
Just rewatched this and still enjoyed it a lot. Yeah, it's probably about 20 minutes too long but I like seeing Jonathan Pryce chew the scenery.
I love the heavy-handedness of both GI Joe movies. This one is more militant, as the first one was more cartoon-y, which I absolutely loved! So with less of a hokie nature for Retaliation, you had to buy more into what they were buying into, so to speak. Channing Tatum and Dwayne Johnson's chemistry is legit and it would be fun to have the team for longer (ahem!) in another movie. Also, I would be lying if I didn't mention how ridiculously handsome Byung Hun Lee is and said that the scene where his…
Only Jonathan Pryce (camping it up) and Bruce Willis (relaxing enough to give us glimmers of his old smirk) are having as much fun as they should be: it's a mistake to try and play something as fundamentally silly as a G.I. Joe movie as anything other than fundamentally silly: when they try and reach for emotional resonance, they come up well short.
While I will admit that this flick has some thrilling action sequences that are sure to get the testosterone flowing in any 12 year old boys body, it also is flooded with an extreme amount of CHEESE. It's corny as hell and sadly that corn hurts the film.
This is the picture perfect example of BIG, DUMB and somewhat fun. I get it. I get the whole damn thing. In it's fun though it lowers IQs by the minute.
I don't think it's poorly made, at least from an action perspective but it's just shy of being Michael Bay stupid. Should I have expected anything different though, no.
- Sharky's Machine
- Absence of Malice
- On Golden Pond
- Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip
- The Wolf of Wall Street
- Inside Llewyn Davis
- American Hustle
I rank all the 2013 films I see in my personal order from best to worst!
- 12 Years a Slave
- Inside Llewyn Davis
- The Wolf of Wall Street
- Upstream Color
- Before Midnight
This is my ongoing ranking of all the films I see released in 2013. I will make a separate top…