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G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by Presidential order. This forces the G.I. Joes into not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.
For all its undeniable crappiness I do have a fondness for the original G.I. Joe movie as I warmed to its cheesy charms and Sienna Miller dressed in leather. However, Stephen Sommers’ film was not the runaway success the studio expected and because of this the delayed sequel has seen wholesale changes. With the exception of the odd franchise favourite, most notably Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, the original cast have been unceremoniously dumped in favour of a new breed of blander Joe.
Although it follows on from the first film, not that anybody can really remember the original’s plot, the GI Joe team are ruthlessly streamlined leaving a core of five Joes against the might of a growing Cobra…
The film goes thus:
Kind of funny dialogue.
The Rock's absurd neck (seriously, it's as wide as his head!) and shoulders.
Holy shit that was unexpected.
Cobra Commander actually looks and sounds like Cobra Commander.
Ninjas sword-fighting while abseiling.
Jonathan Pryce being so hammy you could slice him up and make a sandwich.
More of The Rock's absurd neck and shoulders.
Misogynistic jabs by Bruce Willis at the resident action chick.
Surprising emphasis on gunplay and hand to hand combat rather than explosions.
Actually rooting for Cobra so I can see more Jonathan Pryce.
Damn, that trailer spoiled A LOT.
Massive epic climax.
Yeah, it was good.
Being a child of the 80s my go-to toy was of course G.I. Joe. Other then the toys, the cartoon was cool and all but it always bothered me that they had laser beams shooting out of every single weapon they had. Machine gun, pistol, tank cannon, it didn't matter. If it shoots, it shoots a laser beam. Even as a kid I thought that was bullshit.
For me I got my G.I. Joe fix from the Marvel Comics published G.I. Joe comic. The series was surprisingly realistic when it came to covert ops and military tactics. It was written by Larry Hama, a former firearms and explosive ordnance expert for the U.S. Army that served in…
A lot of people are saying that this is better than the first, and I have to call a bit of bullshit on that. As inoffensive as this film is, it is also on the opposite spectrum of stupid fun that Rise of Cobra is.
See, as dumb as Rise of Cobra is, it at least knows it, and lends itself to its own nice little campy tone. It runs with the stupid instead of trying to hide it, and I find that infinitely more enjoyable.
Retaliation, while not masquerading as anything more than dumb fun, doesn't have the same campy tone. It takes everything in the film a little too seriously, and thus, when something insanely stupid happens…
"They call it water board, but I never get bored"
A few years ago, when I was but a young and naive FilmApe, I longed for the days when B movies existed, and cursed the modern days where all movies are just lumped together as one thing that are all comparable to each other. But, then it occurred to me that I was looking at things all wrong and that a new perspective would help me see things better. It is not like B movies stopped being made, they just got elevated to a status where they are no longer considered B movies. So, I began to look for films that are the modern equivalent of what use to be…
Things G.I. Joe: Retaliation have:
Soldiers, minion soldiers, white ninja, black ninja, yellow ninja, red ninja, minion ninjas, ninjutsu, brawl, martial arts, parkour, free running, fencing, sai, kunai, sword, sword fight, flying sword fights, hiking sword fights, hiking, wall running, wall running sword fight bangee jump, bangee jump sword fight, zip-line, zip-line sword fight, sword fight with firearms, gunkata, gunfight, revolvers, pistols, machine guns, sub-machine guns, heavy machine guns, mounted machine guns, sniper rifles, sniper rifles with guided bullets, grenade launcher, grenade, anti-aircraft weapons, missile launcher, nuke, nuke explosion, exploding firefly, people with cool names like Firefly, Cobra Commander, Roadblock, Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, Snake and Cobra being enemies, city being destroy, helicopter attack, gunfight with cars, house full…
OLD REVIEW: This movie doesn't take itself to seriously, but with more bad plots and mediocre action sequences, the sequel fails to deliver anything that the original didn't already do.
G.I. Joe Retaliation is a decent Blockbuster
Definitely terrible but the kind of terrible that is great. I am sad that Channing Tatum was not in a bit more of the film. Actually, there was a lot of the film that I wished was just Channing Tatum and the Rock being friends. I would take an entire movie of that, please.
That said, this ridiculous and insane piece of nonsense was a treat for bad movie night. I do feel like the expectation of... knowledge of the universe was kind-of high? As I know nothing? But that's okay! We figured it out. Kinda.
If you want something with some truly beautiful over the top lines and some great perplexing supervillain plans, this is the movie for you.
Throwing away almost everthing from the first movie without giving it room to grow, this sequel is more of a reset, leaving the Joes no memory of what their mission is.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Franchises need to stop killing characters in the first three minutes of the film when they are unable to secure the actor for the whole film.
And if they insist on doing so, then instead of a two second bit where the other characters get all upset, it really ought to be the driving force and motivator for the rest of the film. Otherwise it leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth and makes revisiting the more enjoyable predecessor a bit more difficult.
Wolverine be made to dramatic and low pacing, but this one missing a litle bit of drama. I think inspecialy missing because of overall new Joe members and not wil break out. If the 3th movie wil break out this movie will even been better. But it realy be case to get back members from this movie and some missing from first. But atlast it have pacing thansk to more better/intresting actors and that it not have to much of training scene's as fuller like Elektra.
Couldn't they have at least given us the blue and red gunfire in this sequel?
I went to this movie a few weeks after it had hit theaters with my friend Thomas. He's not into comic book type movies so very quickly we left rather than sit through the entire thing. Honestly watching it at home with my surround sound system pumping it's a much different experience and one that I kinda enjoyed.
Maybe it's the growler of local beer, the really great lunch and dinner and spending time with friends... whatever it was GI Joe: Retaliation was just goofy enough and just ridiculous enough, with just enough polish that it held my attention.
First thing I'll say is this... the movie looks and fees like three separate movies that somehow converge all in the…
I rank all the 2013 films I see in my personal order from best to worst!
This is my ongoing ranking of all the films I see released in 2013. I will make a separate top…