I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by Presidential order. This forces the G.I. Joes into not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.
For all its undeniable crappiness I do have a fondness for the original G.I. Joe movie as I warmed to its cheesy charms and Sienna Miller dressed in leather. However, Stephen Sommers’ film was not the runaway success the studio expected and because of this the delayed sequel has seen wholesale changes. With the exception of the odd franchise favourite, most notably Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, the original cast have been unceremoniously dumped in favour of a new breed of blander Joe.
Although it follows on from the first film, not that anybody can really remember the original’s plot, the GI Joe team are ruthlessly streamlined leaving a core of five Joes against the might of a growing Cobra…
The film goes thus:
Kind of funny dialogue.
The Rock's absurd neck (seriously, it's as wide as his head!) and shoulders.
Holy shit that was unexpected.
Cobra Commander actually looks and sounds like Cobra Commander.
Ninjas sword-fighting while abseiling.
Jonathan Pryce being so hammy you could slice him up and make a sandwich.
More of The Rock's absurd neck and shoulders.
Misogynistic jabs by Bruce Willis at the resident action chick.
Surprising emphasis on gunplay and hand to hand combat rather than explosions.
Actually rooting for Cobra so I can see more Jonathan Pryce.
Damn, that trailer spoiled A LOT.
Massive epic climax.
Yeah, it was good.
Being a child of the 80s my go-to toy was of course G.I. Joe. Other then the toys, the cartoon was cool and all but it always bothered me that they had laser beams shooting out of every single weapon they had. Machine gun, pistol, tank cannon, it didn't matter. If it shoots, it shoots a laser beam. Even as a kid I thought that was bullshit.
For me I got my G.I. Joe fix from the Marvel Comics published G.I. Joe comic. The series was surprisingly realistic when it came to covert ops and military tactics. It was written by Larry Hama, a former firearms and explosive ordnance expert for the U.S. Army that served in…
A lot of people are saying that this is better than the first, and I have to call a bit of bullshit on that. As inoffensive as this film is, it is also on the opposite spectrum of stupid fun that Rise of Cobra is.
See, as dumb as Rise of Cobra is, it at least knows it, and lends itself to its own nice little campy tone. It runs with the stupid instead of trying to hide it, and I find that infinitely more enjoyable.
Retaliation, while not masquerading as anything more than dumb fun, doesn't have the same campy tone. It takes everything in the film a little too seriously, and thus, when something insanely stupid happens…
"They call it water board, but I never get bored"
A few years ago, when I was but a young and naive FilmApe, I longed for the days when B movies existed, and cursed the modern days where all movies are just lumped together as one thing that are all comparable to each other. But, then it occurred to me that I was looking at things all wrong and that a new perspective would help me see things better. It is not like B movies stopped being made, they just got elevated to a status where they are no longer considered B movies. So, I began to look for films that are the modern equivalent of what use to be…
Junesploitation: Day 11 – Ninjas!
"I don’t know if I’m gonna trust a pastry from a gumbo chef."
G.I. Joe: Retaliation functions best if you look at it not as the sequel to the previous G.I. Joe movie Rise of Cobra (which I liked in spite of its silliness) but as part of director Jon M. Chu’s filmography. His other work includes Step Up 2 and 3, both Justin Bieber documentaries, and two movies in a series called The LXD (you guessed it—also about dancing). With Retaliation, Chu isn’t making an action movie, he’s making a music video. Each set piece acts more like a dance number or concert performance, purposefully interrupting the flow of the narrative rather…
Another badly written action movie, packed with cringe-worthy exposition-y dialogue and a barely scraped together plot. The action isn't up to much cop either.
Probably the greatest/dumbest plan for nuclear disarmament ever.
Reaktionäre Scheiße. Für Miltärfreaks und Waffennarren.
Wenn man seinen inneren Ekel vor dieser Militär und Waffenwerbung unterdrückt hat, kann man die Action genießen.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
If you're reading this then you won't like it.
What did I remember about part 1? Some green Eiffel Tower stuff!? Nothing else.
While it's as nonsensic as you would expect it's not the worst thing ever. Ok, it's a bit like all of the Fast and the Furious sequels mashed together having a fight with all the Transformers movies melded together. So it is pretty mindlessly banal. But let's recall the highlights:
- first time seeing the MGM logo from the Lion's eye.
- North Korea made the butt of some jokes. Bet they don't do that again.
- Pakistan has a handful of nukes. When they went in to take control of the nukes (after the…
Χειρότερο και από τα κινούμενα σχέδια, αλλά ήξερα τι είδα (στην τηλεόραση) και μπόρεσα παράλληλα να ασχοληθώ και με άλλα ζητήματα της καθημερινότητας...
Better than the first one.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation 3D
I rank all the 2013 films I see in my personal order from best to worst!
A space dedicated to outstanding teasers and trailers. All entries will be judged solely for the trailer alone and not…