I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I. Joe team is terminated by Presidential order. This forces the G.I. Joes into not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.
For all its undeniable crappiness I do have a fondness for the original G.I. Joe movie as I warmed to its cheesy charms and Sienna Miller dressed in leather. However, Stephen Sommers’ film was not the runaway success the studio expected and because of this the delayed sequel has seen wholesale changes. With the exception of the odd franchise favourite, most notably Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, the original cast have been unceremoniously dumped in favour of a new breed of blander Joe.
Although it follows on from the first film, not that anybody can really remember the original’s plot, the GI Joe team are ruthlessly streamlined leaving a core of five Joes against the might of a growing Cobra…
The film goes thus:
Kind of funny dialogue.
The Rock's absurd neck (seriously, it's as wide as his head!) and shoulders.
Holy shit that was unexpected.
Cobra Commander actually looks and sounds like Cobra Commander.
Ninjas sword-fighting while abseiling.
Jonathan Pryce being so hammy you could slice him up and make a sandwich.
More of The Rock's absurd neck and shoulders.
Misogynistic jabs by Bruce Willis at the resident action chick.
Surprising emphasis on gunplay and hand to hand combat rather than explosions.
Actually rooting for Cobra so I can see more Jonathan Pryce.
Damn, that trailer spoiled A LOT.
Massive epic climax.
Yeah, it was good.
Being a child of the 80s my go-to toy was of course G.I. Joe. Other then the toys, the cartoon was cool and all but it always bothered me that they had laser beams shooting out of every single weapon they had. Machine gun, pistol, tank cannon, it didn't matter. If it shoots, it shoots a laser beam. Even as a kid I thought that was bullshit.
For me I got my G.I. Joe fix from the Marvel Comics published G.I. Joe comic. The series was surprisingly realistic when it came to covert ops and military tactics. It was written by Larry Hama, a former firearms and explosive ordnance expert for the U.S. Army that served in…
A lot of people are saying that this is better than the first, and I have to call a bit of bullshit on that. As inoffensive as this film is, it is also on the opposite spectrum of stupid fun that Rise of Cobra is.
See, as dumb as Rise of Cobra is, it at least knows it, and lends itself to its own nice little campy tone. It runs with the stupid instead of trying to hide it, and I find that infinitely more enjoyable.
Retaliation, while not masquerading as anything more than dumb fun, doesn't have the same campy tone. It takes everything in the film a little too seriously, and thus, when something insanely stupid happens…
"They call it water board, but I never get bored"
A few years ago, when I was but a young and naive FilmApe, I longed for the days when B movies existed, and cursed the modern days where all movies are just lumped together as one thing that are all comparable to each other. But, then it occurred to me that I was looking at things all wrong and that a new perspective would help me see things better. It is not like B movies stopped being made, they just got elevated to a status where they are no longer considered B movies. So, I began to look for films that are the modern equivalent of what use to be…
Things G.I. Joe: Retaliation have:
Soldiers, minion soldiers, white ninja, black ninja, yellow ninja, red ninja, minion ninjas, ninjutsu, brawl, martial arts, parkour, free running, fencing, sai, kunai, sword, sword fight, flying sword fights, hiking sword fights, hiking, wall running, wall running sword fight bangee jump, bangee jump sword fight, zip-line, zip-line sword fight, sword fight with firearms, gunkata, gunfight, revolvers, pistols, machine guns, sub-machine guns, heavy machine guns, mounted machine guns, sniper rifles, sniper rifles with guided bullets, grenade launcher, grenade, anti-aircraft weapons, missile launcher, nuke, nuke explosion, exploding firefly, people with cool names like Firefly, Cobra Commander, Roadblock, Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, Snake and Cobra being enemies, city being destroy, helicopter attack, gunfight with cars, house full…
The thing I enjoyed the most about the film, besides Walton Goggins, was abusing the Xbox Kinect voice controls.
So, there's a lot going on here. I'm not sure where to start.
There's a 5-second shot of London getting completely flattened without warning, killing millions instantly, that the movie just glosses over and never mentions again. Bruce Willis is "Joe", who, you guessed it, started the GI Joe thing. Walton Goggins dresses like Johnny Cash, or his Justified character, to be the flamboyant warden of a super-prison that's 420 (Yeah.) stories underground so it's not in any country's jurisdiction. He gives a long monologue about how impenetrable his prison is. Not ten seconds after he finishes, a guy just drives a motorcycle into the front door and blows everything up and kills everyone.
And I haven't even mentioned the…
Melhor que o anterior, o que não diz em absolutamente nada, não deve passar despercebido pelo Framboesa de Ouro 2014.
What this movie really needs is more action and less Arnold Vosloo.
Not to be rude but does he no longer take any pride in his work. Remember the glory days of Pik van Cleef, Dr. Peyton Westlake and the mighty High Priest Imhotep.
Tasked with a pivotal 'duel' role, playing both the presidential Jonathan Pryce and Cobra Commander's right hand man Zartan, Arnold has unfortunately phoned in his performance for G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
Is it simply beneath him? Was it just for the payday? Does he just not care for the legions of fans he has so clearly disappointed? I could be angry but I'm just let down, it's such a blight on the quality of material. Hoorah!
Härter, Konsequenter und Ausgewogener als der erste Teil. Erwachsener. Von dieser Tendenz abgesehen derselbe Quark, aber mit teilweise schicker Action die ausreicht um sich in der Mittagspause zu unterhalten.
+Prison escape scene
-pretty much everything else
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
"Heilige scheiße ist der Film abgefahren!", würde mein 12-Jähriges Ich sagen.
Der Film ist dumm, muskulös und explosiv. The Rock eben ;) Haha, spaß beiseite...
Es gibt besonders zu beginn enorm schlechte Sprüche. Ich musste grinsen. Lachen musste ich bei der Logik des Films. Da war irgendwie alles dumm. So hanebüchen alles, so nen quatsch gibts nur im Film. "Liefern wir Snake Eyes mal ins Supersicherheitsgefägnis ohne vorher seine Rüstung abzunehmen. Sonst merkt der zuschauer ja sofort das es Stormshadow ist. Überraschung! Und nach ninjawurfsternen untersuchen wir Ihn auch nicht. Sonst kann er ja nicht mit Cobra Commander entkommen. Der sich instant wieder bewegen kann wenn er nicht mehr im Wasser ist, obwohl vorher erklärt wurde das er gelähmt ist.…
G.I. Joe – La vendetta parla al preadolescente che c'è in ognuno. Meglio del primo film, ma rispetto alle potenzialità è comunque sprecato.
Right Wing Military Porn Trash
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I rank all the 2013 films I see in my personal order from best to worst!
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This is my ongoing ranking of all the films I see released in 2013. I will make a separate top…