G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Synopsis
GI JOE IS NO MORE
The G.I. Joe team faces off against Zartan, his accomplices, and the world leaders he has under his influence.
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The film goes thus:
Kind of funny dialogue.Macho bullshit.
The Rock's absurd neck (seriously, it's as wide as his head!) and shoulders.
Holy shit that was unexpected.
Macho bullshit.
Cobra Commander actually looks and sounds like Cobra Commander.
Ninjas sword-fighting while abseiling.
Jonathan Pryce being so hammy you could slice him up and make a sandwich.
More of The Rock's absurd neck and shoulders.
Macho bullshit.
Misogynistic jabs by Bruce Willis at the resident action chick.
Surprising emphasis on gunplay and hand to hand combat rather than explosions.
Actually rooting for Cobra so I can see more Jonathan Pryce.
Damn, that trailer spoiled A LOT.
Macho bullshit.
Massive epic climax.
Everyone hugs.
Verdict?Yeah, it was good.
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"They call it water board, but I never get bored"
A few years ago, when I was but a young and naive FilmApe, I longed for the days when B movies existed, and cursed the modern days where all movies are just lumped together as one thing that are all comparable to each other. But, then it occurred to me that I was looking at things all wrong and that a new perspective would help me see things better. It is not like B movies stopped being made, they just got elevated to a status where they are no longer considered B movies. So, I began to look for films that are the modern equivalent of what use to be…
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Bloated, completely baffling plot and probably the best thing I ever saw. This is what The Expendables wishes it was, and I'm pretty sure it did it without even trying.
Byung-hun Lee is fucking BABEIN'.
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Meh.
A lot of people are saying that this is better than the first, and I have to call a bit of bullshit on that. As inoffensive as this film is, it is also on the opposite spectrum of stupid fun that Rise of Cobra is.
See, as dumb as Rise of Cobra is, it at least knows it, and lends itself to its own nice little campy tone. It runs with the stupid instead of trying to hide it, and I find that infinitely more enjoyable.
Retaliation, while not masquerading as anything more than dumb fun, doesn't have the same campy tone. It takes everything in the film a little too seriously, and thus, when something insanely stupid happens…
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Film #26 of 2013 at the cinemas
Great? No. Entertaining as fuck? Yes!
LOL @ RZA totally didn't fit in this.
Byung-hun Lee is awesome.
Adrianne Palicki was so gorgeous makes me want to go and rub one out.
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So there's an inherent problem with making a G.I. Joe movie, and that's that the franchise is inherently... pretty damn stupid.
I mean come on. It's about a bunch of super badass elite soldiers who are best friends with a ninja and they all go by pro wrestling names and they fight evil costumed supervillains who literally kick puppies. I'm not saying you can't play that straight and get a great action story out of it. Larry Hama was able to, but then again, Larry Hama found the melancholic poetry of Wolverine slicing up ninjas for 30 pages.
And the thing that made the first G.I. Joe movie so great (YEAH I SAID IT) was that it embraced the silliness.…
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The Rock and Bruce Willis make the film. Nuff' said, it's a hell of a fun rental.
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A poor script, hammy dialogue, and notenough memorable action sequences plague GIJoe: Retaliation, a film which has moments of campy, delightful action fun, but surely not enough.
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....okay.
sleep during climax -
Predecible en todos los sentidos de una pelicula de sci-fi, aunque no deja de ser entretenida y graciosa en algunos momentos. Rescatan las actuaciones de Bruce Willis y la 'Roca'
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Jon Chu did a great job at bringing a new awesome movie to the world. But it did suffer from slowness. It had great direction,great action,a cool and funny script,and a great story.
GRADE:A- -
Film 104 of The 2013 Project.
Running time: 110 minutes.
Well this is a whole lot better than the first one. It's a little more self aware and it's a whole lot of fun. Bring in Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and you're in for a good time!
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GI: Joe: Retaliation may have one of the most nonsensical plots to ever grace an action film, and I saw A Good Day To Die Hard only a month ago. To give you an idea of how confused this movie is, I have no idea where the subtitle Retaliation actually comes from. The action is just as forgettable with the exception of a few parts. Mostly though , it's 2 hours of action that doesn't fly by but rather crawls by.
I would love to give a little exposition on the story for you to explain my disdain but it's again so jumbled and foreign that I gave up trying halfway through. Just be prepared to watch The Rock save…
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Entertaining enough action, but they might as well have not even attempted to write a plot--it was all so loosely strung together. I had no clue what was happening for half the movie.
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The film's highlight was a didgeridoo-wielding RZA as Blind Master.