Personal (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌
Tommy has just joined the cast of the top-rated kids' show, "Captain Mike's Mystery Monsters," and is anxious to find out just how the special effects crew gets the monsters to work. Imagine his surprise when he discovers they're not special effects at all! Adding to the situation, the monsters' original owner, evil Queen Mara, has returned to Earth to reclaim her property and take revenge on Captain Mike for stealing them.
Saw this at the Five Minutes Game at Cinefamily in Los Angeles. It was probably the only context for which I may have ever seen this film.
While the two kid leads are good, the rest of everything else is not. The story makes zero sense. An evil entity known as Queen Mara has made her way to the human dimension to hunt down her minions (that they themselves hold no intrinsic value). And if she and her bodyguard don't do it before a certain period of time, they have to wait something akin to thirty years before they can jump dimensions back and hunt everyone down.
The macguffins, these beings from another dimension, they do nothing. They literally do…
This is officially the saddest birthday of my life.
Odd repackaged/retitled 1997 movie called Mystery Monsters (directed by Charles Band) features a LOT of talking, a few puppets and little else. Groon, a henchman for the evil queen/sorceress/whatever in this movie is the only real highlight.
I would describe this movie as being similar to the fake Disney film in Joe Dante's MATINEE, but that makes it sounds better than it really is. Except for some nasty characters depicted in the kids' show world, GOOBERS! is a bore.
My brain is collapsing in on itself!
Being a) a lover of cinema; b) a peruser of film books and movie criticism; and c) an enthusiast of…