Horror movies are by far my favorite, so I've decided to make a list with all of them I remember…
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Classic tale. New twist.
After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel and Gretel have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell-bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches... their past.
.....wait a second.......wasn't I supposed to hate this?
I am not a big fan of Hollywood's need to revamp all these classic fairytales. Most of them are excellent and grim stories to begin with, so why change that?
Take the fairytale of Hansel and Gretel for example. It's a story about child abuse, cannibalism and horrific murder. That in itself is more than enough, right? But no, riding on Snow White's coattails we now have the story of Hansel and Gretel post traumatic candy cottage experience.
This shouldn't work and plot wise it doesn't. It is somewhat uninspired and therefore doesn't really hold any surprises. It also has a couple of bizarre ideas that aren't really fleshed out enough (Hansel's…
It seems that nowadays directors tend to create horror films based on real events, famous novels and fairy tales and basically misrepresent them by giving them a new storyline and a ridiculous, yet funny layer of gory action and badass kills.
Seeing an adaptation of the acclaimed fairy tale published by the Brothers Grimm in the hands of the Norwegian director sounded like something cool. The premise of seeing the famous siblings (Hansel & Gretel) fighting witches as grown ups in a horror film sounded like something I would wholeheartedly enjoy. Yet, the execution of this promising concept wasn't particularly the best since this was an obvious Hollywood production.
As the director, Tommy Wirkola had moments to shine and moments of…
Director, Tommy Wirkola, created a fun and trashy B-movie in the form of Nazi zombie comedy, Dead Snow. Disappointingly, his first film in Hollywood is nowhere near as enjoyable. In fact it is downright awful and an embarrassment for all those involved. There has been a recent surge in revisionist fairy tale adaptations but unfortunately they have all been disappointing for various reasons and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters may well be the worst of the bunch.
Wirkola’s film takes the classic Brothers Grimm story of siblings lost in the woods, gingerbread houses and a cannibal witch and twists it into a cheap and bombastic action movie devoid of interesting characters or compelling set pieces. Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner play…
This is an unpretentious movie that knows what it is, a ridiculous, gory action fantasy that tries hard to be fun. The only problem is it's not that fun. Between a lazy script, exposition overkill, choppy transition of scenes and a redundant feel to the whole thing, the fun is sucked out of it almost completely. The violence is intriguingly bloody, gory and excessive while the action scenes are cool but they're repetitive and soon their coolness wears off. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton are good and do their best under the circumstances but fun is not the first thing that comes in mind when their names are mentioned. Famke Janssen as the evil witch is terrible in terms of…
Most of the running time of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I was in awe of what I was seeing. Then I remembered this was 2013, and this has become the norm.
The "plot" moves incredibly fast and rarely takes an opportunity to breathe. This would be okay if it looked like the cast was having fun (Similar to how it worked for Joe Carnahan's The A-Team), but neither of the leads, or even the supporting cast look like they're having a lot of fun, and thus, none of the fun the filmmakers want it to have really translates.
Hansel & Gretel isn't boring, but it was a waste of my time…
Admittedly, there is something to be said about a hyper-violent, comic book-like concept involving grownup fairy tale characters. In the case of "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters," however, that concept is all there is and the resulting film is one of the weakest studio efforts of 2013.
"Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" takes the titular characters, turns them into adults, and sets them free to hunt witches in the quasi-central European countryside. That is all. There is very little story, zero character development, and no thematic weight on which to comment. The film is empty headed and soulless.
The sets, costumes, and props are at once interesting but plastic-looking, and the cinematography, score, and acting offer nothing extraordinary. The leads, Jeremy Renner…
I... I honestly forgot that I hated this. What kind of lame person forgets that they hate a movie? You don't like a movie you rate 1.5 stars. Those aren't good movies. They will never be good movies. I will never have some sort of epiphany in life that goes, "Oh hey! Hansel & Gretel is actually a pretty fine movie!"
But I forgot that. And so I randomly bought the movie a couple of days ago because I found it for a couple of bucks. And I was like, "Oh, I kinda liked this, right?"
And now here I am, transferring all of my movie reviews here from Flixster (die, Flixster... DIE.) and now I learn how much I hated Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. Oops.
Now I'm going to have to watch a terrible movie a second time, because I spend real money-dollars on this POS.
A cool concept covered with poor writing and tired execution.
Gemma Arterton's titular character spends most of the film being kidnapped and rescued by men, contrary to her early establishment as a strong, tough character.
It's a silly fun movie about two Matrix rejects doing battle with kung-fu fighting witches, and it is fair enough not to pretend to be anything more.
An enjoyable film with some great practical effects and lots of blood.
Sometimes I crave pure cheese, pizza and fizzy pop, junk food filmmaking and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters had been patiently waiting on my Netflix queue for me to get hungry again. I knew very little about it: mainly that the movie had been dumped in theaters in the notoriously abismal (for both film quality and box-office business) month of January, when it had received very little support from critics. By the end of the year it had made many "worst of" lists, while simultaneously building a bit of a cult following with people who claimed it had been under-appreciated. That second part made it interesting to me, and so I finally clicked "play".
Of course it is ridiculous! But its…
I'm not crazy about the hyperactive editing and the underwritten characters, but I still enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would. The premise is fun, the cast quite good, and it has some nice action bits and very cool production design. Solid B movie.
I was pleasantly surprised by this one. The filmmakers obviously did not even try to make this picture NOT stupid and NOT over-the-top but absolutely went to town with it. The violence is over the top, so are the one-lines, the profanity and just twisting and turning the source material into something that feels like a cocktail between Matrix style fighting scenes, the Princess Bride and The Witchs by Roald Dahl. The film has gorgeous sets and make-up, it really puts you in the mood, when you accompany the two siblings on their hunt for witches in the vicinity of Augsburg. Maybe you should tell your kids to stay away from this one, it is way too bloody and vulgar,…
A fine example of dumb fun! The right runtime (a few minutes more and it would drag itself), a likeable cast and a rollercoaster feeling. / Um bom exemplo de diversão idiota! A duração certa (mais alguns minutos e iria se arrastar), um elenco simpático e uma sensação de montanha russa.
Complete B movie trash and I... kind of loved it? Cable TV show level special effects but a story that works and passable acting. It knows exactly what it is and doesn't play itself straight at all so it ends up just being big dumb fun. I just wish they would have taken it that extra step and went all-in on being completely crazy then it could have been in Army of Darkness territory.
I honestly don't hate this dark fairytail reboot kick that Hollywood is on. They're always more interesting than the stupid ideas that big dumb action movies come up with so why not?
Recommended when you want to do something and casually pay attention to a movie in the background and occasionally hear a "fuck" and see people get torn apart.
How is this from the guy that brought us Dead Snow?
- Night of the Living Dead
- Night of the Living Dead
- Dawn of the Dead
- Dawn of the Dead
- Day of the Dead
- Sharky's Machine
- Absence of Malice
- On Golden Pond
- Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip
I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…
- The Wolf of Wall Street
- Inside Llewyn Davis
- American Hustle
I rank all the 2013 films I see in my personal order from best to worst!