A comprehensive, alphabetical list of films released in the United States that have been condemned by the Catholic Church since…
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Classic tale. New twist.
After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel and Gretel have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell-bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches... their past.
.....wait a second.......wasn't I supposed to hate this?
I am not a big fan of Hollywood's need to revamp all these classic fairytales. Most of them are excellent and grim stories to begin with, so why change that?
Take the fairytale of Hansel and Gretel for example. It's a story about child abuse, cannibalism and horrific murder. That in itself is more than enough, right? But no, riding on Snow White's coattails we now have the story of Hansel and Gretel post traumatic candy cottage experience.
This shouldn't work and plot wise it doesn't. It is somewhat uninspired and therefore doesn't really hold any surprises. It also has a couple of bizarre ideas that aren't really fleshed out enough (Hansel's…
Director, Tommy Wirkola, created a fun and trashy B-movie in the form of Nazi zombie comedy, Dead Snow. Disappointingly, his first film in Hollywood is nowhere near as enjoyable. In fact it is downright awful and an embarrassment for all those involved. There has been a recent surge in revisionist fairy tale adaptations but unfortunately they have all been disappointing for various reasons and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters may well be the worst of the bunch.
Wirkola’s film takes the classic Brothers Grimm story of siblings lost in the woods, gingerbread houses and a cannibal witch and twists it into a cheap and bombastic action movie devoid of interesting characters or compelling set pieces. Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner play…
It seems that nowadays directors tend to create horror films based on real events, famous novels and fairy tales and basically misrepresent them by giving them a new storyline and a ridiculous, yet funny layer of gory action and badass kills.
Seeing an adaptation of the acclaimed fairy tale published by the Brothers Grimm in the hands of the Norwegian director sounded like something cool. The premise of seeing the famous siblings (Hansel & Gretel) fighting witches as grown ups in a horror film sounded like something I would wholeheartedly enjoy. Yet, the execution of this promising concept wasn't particularly the best since this was an obvious Hollywood production.
As the director, Tommy Wirkola had moments to shine and moments of…
This is an unpretentious movie that knows what it is, a ridiculous, gory action fantasy that tries hard to be fun. The only problem is it's not that fun. Between a lazy script, exposition overkill, choppy transition of scenes and a redundant feel to the whole thing, the fun is sucked out of it almost completely. The violence is intriguingly bloody, gory and excessive while the action scenes are cool but they're repetitive and soon their coolness wears off. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton are good and do their best under the circumstances but fun is not the first thing that comes in mind when their names are mentioned. Famke Janssen as the evil witch is terrible in terms of…
Admittedly, there is something to be said about a hyper-violent, comic book-like concept involving grownup fairy tale characters. In the case of "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters," however, that concept is all there is and the resulting film is one of the weakest studio efforts of 2013.
"Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" takes the titular characters, turns them into adults, and sets them free to hunt witches in the quasi-central European countryside. That is all. There is very little story, zero character development, and no thematic weight on which to comment. The film is empty headed and soulless.
The sets, costumes, and props are at once interesting but plastic-looking, and the cinematography, score, and acting offer nothing extraordinary. The leads, Jeremy Renner…
Most of the running time of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I was in awe of what I was seeing. Then I remembered this was 2013, and this has become the norm.
The "plot" moves incredibly fast and rarely takes an opportunity to breathe. This would be okay if it looked like the cast was having fun (Similar to how it worked for Joe Carnahan's The A-Team), but neither of the leads, or even the supporting cast look like they're having a lot of fun, and thus, none of the fun the filmmakers want it to have really translates.
Hansel & Gretel isn't boring, but it was a waste of my time…
Poorly acted, mediocre script at best, schlocky as hell and filled with zany old timey versions of modern technologies and to be honest I kind of liked it.
Bobo e sem graça
What I Learned:
Most do not realize that this is the level most witches operate at, Hansel & Gretel's weapons are not so much exaggerated as they are simply leveling the playing field - watch Blair Witch to see how one sided it actually is
Film # 5 of the Scavenger Hunt # 15 Challenge
Task # 19: A fairytale retelling (ex. Red Riding Hood, Into the Woods, Snow White and the Huntsman)
I really wanted this movie to be fun. It has all the pieces that make a fun, crazy, movie with dumb dialogue and over the top violence. But sadly, it is not fun. I'm not really sure where the problem is but there is definitely a disconnect somewhere. I wanted this to be "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" kind of fun, but oh man it was not.
Extra 1/2 star for Gemma Arterton. Because...reasons...
i watched this on an airplane to brazil on a 4 inch screen with someone crushing my knees so i probably was unable to tell this was actually a 1 star movie instead of 1½
"In giving the classic Hansel & Gretel fairy tale a gritty origin story, Witch Hunters nails the tone of how to make that proposition entertaining. It’s just as much Nolan’s Batman as it is Raimi’s Army of Darkness. Yes, the basic concept of the film is dumb, but it’s so deliciously dumb (and exceedingly violent to boot)."
Scavenger Hunt 15
Task # 19: A fairytale retelling
I feel dirty because I liked it. I am so aware that it is awful but I don't care. It's like junk food. Is that a genre? Junk-film?
I decided to compile a list of films that are heavy in the CGI department. This is not a dig…