Horror movies are by far my favorite, so I've decided to make a list with all of them I remember…
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Classic tale. New twist.
After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel and Gretel have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell-bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches... their past.
.....wait a second.......wasn't I supposed to hate this?
I am not a big fan of Hollywood's need to revamp all these classic fairytales. Most of them are excellent and grim stories to begin with, so why change that?
Take the fairytale of Hansel and Gretel for example. It's a story about child abuse, cannibalism and horrific murder. That in itself is more than enough, right? But no, riding on Snow White's coattails we now have the story of Hansel and Gretel post traumatic candy cottage experience.
This shouldn't work and plot wise it doesn't. It is somewhat uninspired and therefore doesn't really hold any surprises. It also has a couple of bizarre ideas that aren't really fleshed out enough (Hansel's…
Director, Tommy Wirkola, created a fun and trashy B-movie in the form of Nazi zombie comedy, Dead Snow. Disappointingly, his first film in Hollywood is nowhere near as enjoyable. In fact it is downright awful and an embarrassment for all those involved. There has been a recent surge in revisionist fairy tale adaptations but unfortunately they have all been disappointing for various reasons and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters may well be the worst of the bunch.
Wirkola’s film takes the classic Brothers Grimm story of siblings lost in the woods, gingerbread houses and a cannibal witch and twists it into a cheap and bombastic action movie devoid of interesting characters or compelling set pieces. Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner play…
This is an unpretentious movie that knows what it is, a ridiculous, gory action fantasy that tries hard to be fun. The only problem is it's not that fun. Between a lazy script, exposition overkill, choppy transition of scenes and a redundant feel to the whole thing, the fun is sucked out of it almost completely. The violence is intriguingly bloody, gory and excessive while the action scenes are cool but they're repetitive and soon their coolness wears off. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton are good and do their best under the circumstances but fun is not the first thing that comes in mind when their names are mentioned. Famke Janssen as the evil witch is terrible in terms of…
Most of the running time of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I was in awe of what I was seeing. Then I remembered this was 2013, and this has become the norm.
The "plot" moves incredibly fast and rarely takes an opportunity to breathe. This would be okay if it looked like the cast was having fun (Similar to how it worked for Joe Carnahan's The A-Team), but neither of the leads, or even the supporting cast look like they're having a lot of fun, and thus, none of the fun the filmmakers want it to have really translates.
Hansel & Gretel isn't boring, but it was a waste of my time…
Mi crítica para Inferno, tal cual:
Me gustaría que absolutamente nadie de los presentes tuviera una idea errónea acerca de las intenciones y resultados de la primera película americana de Tommy Wirkola: es un film que, por comparación, convierte a Abraham Lincoln: Cazador de Vampiros en una entrada pulcra y aséptica entrada de la Enciclopedia Británica sobre el histórico presidente. El nivel de furia visual, desvergüenza estética y delirio argumental de esta adaptación chiflada del cuento infantil es tal que, como muy adecuadamente la definió nuestro amigo y maestro Noel Ceballos, «estallan más cabezas durante sus 86 minutos que durante todo el cine de 2012». Hansel & Gretel: Cazadores de Brujas es, pues, un divertimento extremadamente violento y macabro, en el…
Let the girl go or I'm gonna blow your sheriff's brains all over these fucking hillbillies!
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is an alternative take on the story of Hansel & Gretel. It features the brother and sister team as bounty hunters who hunt witches. This version is definitely not a story for children.
With lines like the one I quoted above it's obvious this film is meant to be good cheesy fun. It's full of gory kills and silly one liners. While it's obviously not meant to be taken seriously it doesn't work well enough as a parody to make it a good film. Jeremy Renner who plays Hansel, seemed out of place in this type of film. I mean…
Everything you should've expected it to be...everything the Grimm television series should have been. No Oscar nominations just fun...
Gleefully stupid, wildly anachronistic nonsense. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton punch witches in the face for approximately 80 minutes to a soundtrack of crunching guitars. Exactly the kind of trash I hoped it would be.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Another story of something that was a good idea on paper but turned out horrific on screen. Nice try, but no. Better watch Underworld like movie who turns out to be more watchable than this one
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is wise to not take itself too seriously. The light, smart-ass tone and dialogue, along with the over-the-top violence let you know that the filmmakers were fully aware of how stupid the premise is, and how they're using that to the movie's advantage.
Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, and Famke Janssen are game for the goofiness and the witches are amusingly unique - especially in the climactic Sabbath. I like the sort of steampunk aesthetic of the weapons and costumes. It's too bad the CGI is so sketchy and cheap - like SyFy cheap.
Honestly, the movie is fun enough to be a consideration for purchase on blu ray, but for the fact that it looks ten years or more behind-the-times on its digital effects. Still, worth a watch, for sure.
Pipoca e guaraná e deixe se viajar nessa caça as bruxas
One of actually my biggest problems with this movie is that I have no idea what to say about it. Its just a bad film, with some ok special effects, and bad writing and acting. I did like the idea of a Grimm fairy tale converted into a full-length movie, but the execution was bad. All the witches were also so ugly, that you didn't even want to watch the movie for very long. Anyway, that's it, there ya go.
This movie is more stupid then Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter. This movie is just lame, I mean some of the deaths in the movie are good but the rest of the movie is just crap.
Deftly straddles the line between complete farce and badass r-rated action, like an olde-timey supernatural Expendables. There's a refreshing amount of practical rubber monsters, parkour supermodel witches, and Peter Stormare. More, please.
- Night of the Living Dead
- Night of the Living Dead
- Dawn of the Dead
- Dawn of the Dead
- Day of the Dead
- The Wolf of Wall Street
- Inside Llewyn Davis
- American Hustle
I rank all the 2013 films I see in my personal order from best to worst!
- Sharky's Machine
- Absence of Malice
- On Golden Pond
- Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip
I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…