"but I don't care what they say
i'm in love with you
they try to pull me away
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Classic tale. New twist.
After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel and Gretel have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell-bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches... their past.
.....wait a second.......wasn't I supposed to hate this?
I am not a big fan of Hollywood's need to revamp all these classic fairytales. Most of them are excellent and grim stories to begin with, so why change that?
Take the fairytale of Hansel and Gretel for example. It's a story about child abuse, cannibalism and horrific murder. That in itself is more than enough, right? But no, riding on Snow White's coattails we now have the story of Hansel and Gretel post traumatic candy cottage experience.
This shouldn't work and plot wise it doesn't. It is somewhat uninspired and therefore doesn't really hold any surprises. It also has a couple of bizarre ideas that aren't really fleshed out enough (Hansel's…
Director, Tommy Wirkola, created a fun and trashy B-movie in the form of Nazi zombie comedy, Dead Snow. Disappointingly, his first film in Hollywood is nowhere near as enjoyable. In fact it is downright awful and an embarrassment for all those involved. There has been a recent surge in revisionist fairy tale adaptations but unfortunately they have all been disappointing for various reasons and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters may well be the worst of the bunch.
Wirkola’s film takes the classic Brothers Grimm story of siblings lost in the woods, gingerbread houses and a cannibal witch and twists it into a cheap and bombastic action movie devoid of interesting characters or compelling set pieces. Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner play…
It seems that nowadays directors tend to create horror films based on real events, famous novels and fairy tales and basically misrepresent them by giving them a new storyline and a ridiculous, yet funny layer of gory action and badass kills.
Seeing an adaptation of the acclaimed fairy tale published by the Brothers Grimm in the hands of the Norwegian director sounded like something cool. The premise of seeing the famous siblings (Hansel & Gretel) fighting witches as grown ups in a horror film sounded like something I would wholeheartedly enjoy. Yet, the execution of this promising concept wasn't particularly the best since this was an obvious Hollywood production.
As the director, Tommy Wirkola had moments to shine and moments of…
This is an unpretentious movie that knows what it is, a ridiculous, gory action fantasy that tries hard to be fun. The only problem is it's not that fun. Between a lazy script, exposition overkill, choppy transition of scenes and a redundant feel to the whole thing, the fun is sucked out of it almost completely. The violence is intriguingly bloody, gory and excessive while the action scenes are cool but they're repetitive and soon their coolness wears off. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton are good and do their best under the circumstances but fun is not the first thing that comes in mind when their names are mentioned. Famke Janssen as the evil witch is terrible in terms of…
Admittedly, there is something to be said about a hyper-violent, comic book-like concept involving grownup fairy tale characters. In the case of "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters," however, that concept is all there is and the resulting film is one of the weakest studio efforts of 2013.
"Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" takes the titular characters, turns them into adults, and sets them free to hunt witches in the quasi-central European countryside. That is all. There is very little story, zero character development, and no thematic weight on which to comment. The film is empty headed and soulless.
The sets, costumes, and props are at once interesting but plastic-looking, and the cinematography, score, and acting offer nothing extraordinary. The leads, Jeremy Renner…
Most of the running time of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I was in awe of what I was seeing. Then I remembered this was 2013, and this has become the norm.
The "plot" moves incredibly fast and rarely takes an opportunity to breathe. This would be okay if it looked like the cast was having fun (Similar to how it worked for Joe Carnahan's The A-Team), but neither of the leads, or even the supporting cast look like they're having a lot of fun, and thus, none of the fun the filmmakers want it to have really translates.
Hansel & Gretel isn't boring, but it was a waste of my time…
"I like your toys."
It made me laugh and, to be honest, I'm not sure I needed much more from it. I liked it. It went quicker than expected. And a lot of the humour is dry. We're there any stand out performances, no. We're there any exceptional scenes, no. Was there anything worth analyzing in depth, no. Did I enjoy it, yes. And that sums it up as a whole.
"I don't know, that's what they did."
I think I have been the only one who actually enjoyed watching this horror/comedy/action/fantasy collision course that marked the first time that "Dead Snow" director Tommy Wirkola has helmed a film for a major Hollywood studio (or 2, since MGM co-distributed the film with Paramount Pictures). Sure, the comedy element doesn't always stick the landing but the horror, fantasy & action elements are what makes it such a gleefully, gloriously, gory treat to watch. Plus, any movie with the beautiful Gemma Arterton is a must watch for me, especially when she's being a witch hunting badass! Also, when approaching a witch's house, don't eat the friggin' candy.
A horror-action-comedy that actually lives up to its potential. There's a surprising amount of gore for a mainstream movie, and awesome action set pieces. The cast is excellent, and Famke Janssen is a highlight. The CGI effects are actually very convincing and stylized in a way that works for the time period it's set in. Really great production design and cinematography, too.
This came on TV after a recent hockey game when everyone was still kicking back with a few beers and nobody could be bothered to change the channel. So I only sorta half watched it in the background, but since there's no way I will watch this again on purpose I might as well log it.
It is surprisingly gory and I have to admit, the concept is a little hilarious.
"Whatever you do, don't eat the fuckin' candy."
This is a very basic story, with nice dialog and good action. I actually quite enjoyed it. I didn't expect to, but here you go. As a Twilight-hater I had a field-day with the troll being named Edward.
How do you make a movie like that so fucking boring?
The fairy tale continues...
Hansel & Gretel. Not a perfect movie. Script is not the best in which some character moments come competely out of the blue and there is little to no explanation for some situations. The characters lack a bit of depth. Renner and Arterton are amazing in this though. They make the best of it and do it with a lot of fun. A strong point is that the movie doesn't take itself too serious and the overall fun facor is very high. Makes it a very enjoyable viewing. The action is great, visually it looks stunning and the sounddesign is really good. Holds up very well compared to bigger blockbusters. The unrated version is slightly better, but you are not missing out on something when you watch the theatrical cut.
Very entertaining flick.
If you go to watch this movie, you know what you're getting. Super camp and action, plain and simple.
"but I don't care what they say
Well, I've spectacularly failed to do the May one, but we'll see how we go with June.
Task # 1:…
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