Horror movies are by far my favorite, so I've decided to make a list with all of them I remember…
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Classic tale. New twist.
After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel and Gretel have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell-bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches... their past.
.....wait a second.......wasn't I supposed to hate this?
I am not a big fan of Hollywood's need to revamp all these classic fairytales. Most of them are excellent and grim stories to begin with, so why change that?
Take the fairytale of Hansel and Gretel for example. It's a story about child abuse, cannibalism and horrific murder. That in itself is more than enough, right? But no, riding on Snow White's coattails we now have the story of Hansel and Gretel post traumatic candy cottage experience.
This shouldn't work and plot wise it doesn't. It is somewhat uninspired and therefore doesn't really hold any surprises. It also has a couple of bizarre ideas that aren't really fleshed out enough (Hansel's…
Director, Tommy Wirkola, created a fun and trashy B-movie in the form of Nazi zombie comedy, Dead Snow. Disappointingly, his first film in Hollywood is nowhere near as enjoyable. In fact it is downright awful and an embarrassment for all those involved. There has been a recent surge in revisionist fairy tale adaptations but unfortunately they have all been disappointing for various reasons and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters may well be the worst of the bunch.
Wirkola’s film takes the classic Brothers Grimm story of siblings lost in the woods, gingerbread houses and a cannibal witch and twists it into a cheap and bombastic action movie devoid of interesting characters or compelling set pieces. Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner play…
It seems that nowadays directors tend to create horror films based on real events, famous novels and fairy tales and basically misrepresent them by giving them a new storyline and a ridiculous, yet funny layer of gory action and badass kills.
Seeing an adaptation of the acclaimed fairy tale published by the Brothers Grimm in the hands of the Norwegian director sounded like something cool. The premise of seeing the famous siblings (Hansel & Gretel) fighting witches as grown ups in a horror film sounded like something I would wholeheartedly enjoy. Yet, the execution of this promising concept wasn't particularly the best since this was an obvious Hollywood production.
As the director, Tommy Wirkola had moments to shine and moments of…
This is an unpretentious movie that knows what it is, a ridiculous, gory action fantasy that tries hard to be fun. The only problem is it's not that fun. Between a lazy script, exposition overkill, choppy transition of scenes and a redundant feel to the whole thing, the fun is sucked out of it almost completely. The violence is intriguingly bloody, gory and excessive while the action scenes are cool but they're repetitive and soon their coolness wears off. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton are good and do their best under the circumstances but fun is not the first thing that comes in mind when their names are mentioned. Famke Janssen as the evil witch is terrible in terms of…
Most of the running time of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I was in awe of what I was seeing. Then I remembered this was 2013, and this has become the norm.
The "plot" moves incredibly fast and rarely takes an opportunity to breathe. This would be okay if it looked like the cast was having fun (Similar to how it worked for Joe Carnahan's The A-Team), but neither of the leads, or even the supporting cast look like they're having a lot of fun, and thus, none of the fun the filmmakers want it to have really translates.
Hansel & Gretel isn't boring, but it was a waste of my time…
Admittedly, there is something to be said about a hyper-violent, comic book-like concept involving grownup fairy tale characters. In the case of "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters," however, that concept is all there is and the resulting film is one of the weakest studio efforts of 2013.
"Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" takes the titular characters, turns them into adults, and sets them free to hunt witches in the quasi-central European countryside. That is all. There is very little story, zero character development, and no thematic weight on which to comment. The film is empty headed and soulless.
The sets, costumes, and props are at once interesting but plastic-looking, and the cinematography, score, and acting offer nothing extraordinary. The leads, Jeremy Renner…
So bad. Sooooo baaaaaad.
60 wasted mins of my life
I was reall surprised by this. Before even starting I thought it would be just an average film. Then I saw the MTV logo at tr beginning and thought that it isn't a good start. That was then followed up by "Gary Sanchez" production logo which I knew produced some of Will Ferrell's films (I'm thinking it's his and Adam McKay's company) so my faith was raised a little. Having said that this film is campy fun. the stunts, effects and make up and cinematography are excellent. Not only that, they get right to the action. Definitely a fun watch worth the time.
Do you like:
- Non-threatening witches as the antagonists?
- Lots of F bombs in a fantasy setting?
- Awful acting?
- Piss-poor CGI?
- Witch puns?
- A shit ton of wire pulling in forests?
- Samey locations and dodgy sets?
- A poor man's Van Helsing, minus the fun?
- Wasting a perfectly good Famke Janssen by putting her in a bad Halloween mask?
- Franchises that never took off?
- Movies that should not have been?
If you could answer "Yes" to at least two of these questions, then this movie is for you.
Well, I watched this movie. That was a thing that I did.
Messy and poorly choreographed action, no proper storyline or development of the charachters... And the list goes on and on...
I can't understand why nowdays directors keep making trashy horror-like interpretations of famous fairytales. It's ridiculous.
I watched it. It was okay. I think it was supposed to be wink-wink fun, but it wasn't that.
The fact that it's so unabashedly bad is what makes it so fun.
- Night of the Living Dead
- Night of the Living Dead
- Dawn of the Dead
- Dawn of the Dead
- Day of the Dead
- Sharky's Machine
- Absence of Malice
- On Golden Pond
- Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip
I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…
- The Haunted Castle
- The Bewitched Inn
- The X-Ray Fiend
- The Devil in a Convent
- Faust and Marguerite
Contains every horror film made that is not lost and is found on the letterboxd database.
If there is any…