Horror movies are by far my favorite, so I've decided to make a list with all of them I remember…
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Classic tale. New twist.
After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel and Gretel have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell-bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches... their past.
.....wait a second.......wasn't I supposed to hate this?
I am not a big fan of Hollywood's need to revamp all these classic fairytales. Most of them are excellent and grim stories to begin with, so why change that?
Take the fairytale of Hansel and Gretel for example. It's a story about child abuse, cannibalism and horrific murder. That in itself is more than enough, right? But no, riding on Snow White's coattails we now have the story of Hansel and Gretel post traumatic candy cottage experience.
This shouldn't work and plot wise it doesn't. It is somewhat uninspired and therefore doesn't really hold any surprises. It also has a couple of bizarre ideas that aren't really fleshed out enough (Hansel's…
Director, Tommy Wirkola, created a fun and trashy B-movie in the form of Nazi zombie comedy, Dead Snow. Disappointingly, his first film in Hollywood is nowhere near as enjoyable. In fact it is downright awful and an embarrassment for all those involved. There has been a recent surge in revisionist fairy tale adaptations but unfortunately they have all been disappointing for various reasons and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters may well be the worst of the bunch.
Wirkola’s film takes the classic Brothers Grimm story of siblings lost in the woods, gingerbread houses and a cannibal witch and twists it into a cheap and bombastic action movie devoid of interesting characters or compelling set pieces. Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner play…
It seems that nowadays directors tend to create horror films based on real events, famous novels and fairy tales and basically misrepresent them by giving them a new storyline and a ridiculous, yet funny layer of gory action and badass kills.
Seeing an adaptation of the acclaimed fairy tale published by the Brothers Grimm in the hands of the Norwegian director sounded like something cool. The premise of seeing the famous siblings (Hansel & Gretel) fighting witches as grown ups in a horror film sounded like something I would wholeheartedly enjoy. Yet, the execution of this promising concept wasn't particularly the best since this was an obvious Hollywood production.
As the director, Tommy Wirkola had moments to shine and moments of…
This is an unpretentious movie that knows what it is, a ridiculous, gory action fantasy that tries hard to be fun. The only problem is it's not that fun. Between a lazy script, exposition overkill, choppy transition of scenes and a redundant feel to the whole thing, the fun is sucked out of it almost completely. The violence is intriguingly bloody, gory and excessive while the action scenes are cool but they're repetitive and soon their coolness wears off. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton are good and do their best under the circumstances but fun is not the first thing that comes in mind when their names are mentioned. Famke Janssen as the evil witch is terrible in terms of…
Most of the running time of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I was in awe of what I was seeing. Then I remembered this was 2013, and this has become the norm.
The "plot" moves incredibly fast and rarely takes an opportunity to breathe. This would be okay if it looked like the cast was having fun (Similar to how it worked for Joe Carnahan's The A-Team), but neither of the leads, or even the supporting cast look like they're having a lot of fun, and thus, none of the fun the filmmakers want it to have really translates.
Hansel & Gretel isn't boring, but it was a waste of my time…
Admittedly, there is something to be said about a hyper-violent, comic book-like concept involving grownup fairy tale characters. In the case of "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters," however, that concept is all there is and the resulting film is one of the weakest studio efforts of 2013.
"Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" takes the titular characters, turns them into adults, and sets them free to hunt witches in the quasi-central European countryside. That is all. There is very little story, zero character development, and no thematic weight on which to comment. The film is empty headed and soulless.
The sets, costumes, and props are at once interesting but plastic-looking, and the cinematography, score, and acting offer nothing extraordinary. The leads, Jeremy Renner…
I didn't expect anything good from this movie reading the reviews - Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters was supposed to be this terrible version of an old folktale. Instead, I enjoyed this action-horror dark fantasy more than the others, according to the ratings! This twisted take on the adult lives of Hansel and Gretel was begotten by Norwegian filmmaker Tommy Wirkola in 2007 while he was at film school in Australia and finally fully delivered in 3D. It is kind of a continuation to the German folk fairy tale "Hänsel and Gretel". 200 years later we finally discover what happened to the main characters through the actions of the stars Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton in the title roles of a…
5/10: Quite entertaining if you don't take this movie too seriously. Plenty of bloody gore violence and don't expect a high quality storyline or direction as it's meant to be in stupid tongue-in-cheek fun. On a side note, Gemma is really looking deliciously good here.
Overall?… Erm, confusing? So, we have family-film style production, mixed with extreme gore-violence and casual swearing. End result… it's oookkkkkkkaaaayyyyyyyyy I guess.
A truly great blend of practical and digital effects work here…and not much else. Even if it exceeds the expectations of its modest budget, and its even more modest artistic aspirations (I’m making myself puke here), there’s not a whole lot to recommend beyond its pulpy surface pleasures. Maybe that’s enough?
My review -- this film is now showing at Hollywood cinema Norwich UK and the profit margin is currently standing at roughly $130 million. I can't believe I am about to say this because it is so obvious but I digress, the storyline/contents well this film project is a alternative and modernized telling of the story of Hansel & Gretel. I must admit I really did enjoy this film, because the logical choices from beginning to end of this project is extremely wise and what I mean by this, is this as everybody knows of the story of these two brother and sister so instead of making this predictable storyline, they chose to cover the storyline in about 15 minutes at…
Man. This had so much awesome sh*t.
The sweet gore. The awesome fighting choreographies. The dying children. The freak witches. The retarded gadgets (reminded me of Wild Wild West). The Diabetes. The German woods. The Troll (why the f*ck DID he actually help them though?).
Only problem, there was too little of all of that, so that's minus one star. I didn't really care about their background story and Hansels boring love-interest. They should have put that time into more fleshed-out characters, they were a little bland, that's minus anohter half star.
But hey, more of movies like this! Please, Hollywood!
Bloody good movie!!!!
Everything it needs to be. The silly action sequences are clear and understandable, whilst still being quickly edited. The weapons are not meant to look realistic or serious, so they are just made as fun and crazy as possible. I must confess, I only saw the last half an hour of this, but I enjoyed it all. Not nearly as bad as everyone said. As someone else said, this is just good fun.
The majority of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters takes place some fifteen years after the action of the Grimm Brothers' classic fairy tale that saw the hungry, lonely and curious brother/sister pair stumble upon an edibly tempting gingerbread and candy dwelling deep in a forest that was the home of an old woman who liked to bake ... children.
To eventually save themselves (as poor Hansel had been forced to eat candy every waking hour of his captivity [and is now a diabetic!] and Gretel always found herself prepping large ovens) Hansel and Gretel wisely put a kibosh on that witch's dinner plans not knowing at the time that this one act of theirs would lead to a lucrative career…
- Night of the Living Dead
- Night of the Living Dead
- Dawn of the Dead
- Dawn of the Dead
- Day of the Dead
- Sharky's Machine
- Absence of Malice
- On Golden Pond
- Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip
I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…
- The Wolf of Wall Street
- Inside Llewyn Davis
- American Hustle
I rank all the 2013 films I see in my personal order from best to worst!