All the films mentioned by name in Kim Newman's definitive encyclopedia of horror films, Nightmare Movies. Well worth a read.…
The best-selling videogame, Hitman, roars to life with both barrels blazing in this hardcore action-thriller starring Timothy Olyphant. A genetically engineered assassin with deadly aim, known only as "Agent 47" eliminates strategic targets for a top-secret organization. But when he's double-crossed, the hunter becomes the prey as 47 finds himself in a life-or-death game of international intrigue.
I'm not a gamer so I have no idea how this stacks up against the video-game it's based on. It is however nowhere near as bad as I thought it might be considering the horrendous reviews I'd read for it. Action aplenty, a super hot femme-fatale and a protagonist with an incredibly shiny head, what's not to like? Apart from a truly dreadful script and some awful acting, this is a lot of fun.
Action films usually fall down when trying to be more than just popcorn entertainment. This one never flatters to deceive us though, this is a full on action film with a plot as confusing as why Hitman 47 doesn't give Olga Kurylenko one just for the…
What are you going to do?
What I do.
Video game movie adaptations have an incredibly bad rep, and with very good reason. Taking a video game's environments and characters and giving them new faces and voices with a set story somehow just doesn't fit in as well as it seems it should. Now, I enjoy Tomb Raider for what it is: good, mindless fun, but nothing memorable. Hitman had a lot wrong with it, but there were also some redeeming qualities that let me enjoy it.
"How does a good man kill?" mused Timothy Olyphant as he held a supposed target at gunpoint. Indeed, how does an assassin, who is supposed to have no conscience of his own, kill…
Gamers these days have it easy. No matter what system you play your game on something will count your achievements and should you run into any hard boss or problem, it literally takes 5 minutes to find a solution on Youtube. In my personal gaming biography the only time I would have called myself a hardcore gamer was in my twenties when I played the Hitman franchise on my trusty Playstation 2. I still take great pride that I repeated every single mission again and again until I had reached the "Silent Assassin" ranking on every single one. With the terrible Playstation 2 controls that is as hardcore as you can get. Naturally I was first in line when the…
I love Xavier Gens and Timothy Olyphant (oily elephant) and my favourite hack Skip Woods wrote this so it should be an instant classic.
Hitman is like Mario except he's a bald guy with a barcode tattooed on his head and he kills people. He's number 47 because at the beginning there sure are a lot of bald kids with tattoos and guns.
Olyphant looks so weird without hair, too used to Justified. It's all secret murder organisations and throat bombs and shit. Olga Kurylenko is the girl with the shitty dragon tattoo and "my first goth" outfit.
Olyphant crashes through a window in a hotel to find some kids playing one of the Hitman games, haha they did a…
Even though it has some decent action I was pretty bored with it. Even Timothy Olyphant looked bored.
The oddest thing about Hitman is that it's enjoyable even though most of it doesn't work.
Here are moments of highly implausible action and completely inappropriate dialogue, both going to such extremes that watching the actors try to make something out of it becomes... fascinating.
A bald, tattooed assassin known only as Agent 47 (or in this case, Babyface. Come on, you can't look at Timothy Olyphant without wanting to pinch those cheeks. So cute!), is hired to kill Russian president Mikhail Belicoff, only to discover that he's been betrayed. Now the target of British and Russian Secret Police, Babyface treks across Europe on a quest for answers.
With him is Nika Boronina, a Russian prostitute who was forced into…
When a hit on a Russian politician doesn't go to plan, the mysterious "Agent 47" becomes entangled in a web of intrigue.
The first entry in the Hitman franchise, based on the best-selling video game series. The plot is thin at best and the opening 'origin' sequence, which actually comprises footage taken from another, unrelated tv series is incredibly weak, but the overall story still manages to have an enjoyable mix of action and cheesiness. The production values are quite high, as are the choices of exterior locations, and the fight sequences are very choreographed. The actors all play their roles with varying degrees of success, but most of the characters look like rejects from a James Bond movie. The…
Trite "ultra-human/perfect-killer" movie.
I hadn't seen this since it came out, and felt like I needed to revisit it. Turns out I remembered very little of it, and ended up enjoying it about as much as I did the first go round. It's a good watch, and a fairly well made movie with good acting and camera work. Some of the editing was annoying during the action scenes, which is a drag. The plot is also a fairly tired theme. I'm a fan of Timothy Olyphant, and I was in the mood for a dumb action movie. This fit the bill pretty well, and I would recommend it. It isn't a film you need to hunt for, but if you get the chance, it's a decent watch.
Timothy Olyphant looks like a fucking bizarro bruce willis in this movie. Its based on the hitman video games which are relatively amusing stealth games that you would be better off playing instead of watching this. The movie sums itself up with the swordfight scene: nothing really makes sense and is shoehorned in to look cool, but it ends up not really looking that cool either
"Don't get me wrong; I'll be your hitman, a fool for your love!" With that song, Freddie Mercury had a miss with his hit-or-miss efforts to present himself as cool, but with this film, Timothy Olyphant is hoping to redeem the coolness of assassin agents and present himself as even more awesome than we thought. He's trying so hard to get away from the prettyboy image here that he's going bald and not smiling, which is peculiar, because whatever his powers may be, I figured the sources of them were his amazing hair and teeth. Even on "Deadwood", he never grew his moustache to the point of looking like Seth Bullock's real-life hair mask, as to not obscure his anachronistically…
I still don't think this film is that bad. I think part of the problem is the source material - Agent 47 isn't some deep, emotional character. The writing isn't always hot either, so in some regards I don't think this film is a complete disaster. It has its moments.
The videogame led to this movie. There is hardly a story and that is ok as we do not expect to have one. Great action, nice shots. Great acting and a sort of magnetic Timothy Olyphant whom i already liked because of the TV serie Justified. The overacting and over-the-top action scenes are all ok. Throw in some nice woman to look at and we are all set for a beer-and-popcorn escapism experience.
Everyone has at least one film they like that everyone else seems to hate. Maybe they didn't get it. Maybe…
I love Hitmen and Assassins. If they are the main focus of the film, it's almost always awesome. I don't…