Jersey Shore Shark Attack
2012 Directed by John Shepphird
Synopsis
Many years ago, hundreds of locals and tourists were massacred by giant man-eating sharks in the infamous 1916 Jersey Shore attacks. But that's just a legend... or is it? It's a holiday weekend on the Jersey Shore and, unbeknownst to anyone, underwater drills have attracted dozens of albino bull sharks to the pier. When a man goes missing, TC (The Complication), Nookie and friends fear the worst and plead with the police chief to close down the beach. It isn't until a famous singer is eaten alive during a performance on the pier that the shark hunt begins. Now, the Preppies must work together with the Guidos in order to save the Jersey Shore and its inhabitants from another vicious slaughter.
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Having never watched a single second of Jersey Shore I feel I am missing a whole layer of parody here as I have no idea who these actors are pretending to be. Of course it is still obvious that this film has its tongue firmly in cheek throughout as we get a bunch of dumb Guidos trying to outwit albino killer sharks. Yet bizarrely none of the Jersey Shore facsimiles actually get eaten by a shark which is surely why most people would tune in to watch such a film? Even with this obvious oversight the film is actually pretty entertaining thanks to its unwavering crappiness.
The Syfy Channel seem to have outdone themselves once again with the special effects.…
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Sci-Fi Channel strikes again! I loved every minute of this ridiculously bad mashup of Jaws and Jersey Shore; from the bad CGI, to the gratuitous Joey Fatone and Vinny Guadaguino cameos, to the Paulie Walnuts-as-Robert Shaw scene, this gloriously awful Fred Olen Ray production delivers the cheesy goods. I do wonder which unfortunate B-level actor felt the worst about appearing in this, though I imagine it was Paul Sorvino, who has a few scenes as the corrupt mayor of the town. Jack Scalia and William Atherton also slink through their scenes looking vaguely embarrassed, but the young "actors" chosen to imitate the Jersey Shore cast aren't too bad (particularly the faux Situation, who is given the benefit of being written as actually somewhat intelligent.) Overall, this is bad, but in the entertaining "oh, which animal is attacking on Sci-Fi this week?" way. (Next week, according to the rip I watched, is Piranhaconda.)
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Some things cannot be unseen
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Sod me sidewards.
At one point I was hoping the sharks would grow legs, walk and land and kill the rest of the feckwits.
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Douchebags being eaten by sharks.
Douchebags hanging out at the beach.
Douchebags doing one night stands.
Douchebags having love affairs.
Douchebags drinking in bars.
Douchebags dancing.
Douchebags doing weights.
Douchebags calling civilised people douchebags.
Douchebags with guns.
Douchebags shooting sharks.
Douchebags conducting wet t-shirt contests.
Douchebags sexually harrassing women.
Douchebags shutting down oil rigs.
Douchebags warning people of a shark attack.
Douchebags getting arrested.
Douchebags killing sharks with firecrackers.
Douchebags falling into the ocean.
Douchebags saving other douchebags from sharks.
Douchebags stealing guns.
Douchebags watching Joey Fatone perform live.
Douchebags warning Joey Fatone of sharks.
Douchebags offending Joey Fatone.What a lot of Douchebags...
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This film punches quality in the face and then casts actors that actually do a decent jobs in the roles that they play.
Go ahead and yell. I enjoyed this movie. Always watch with friends though.
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Jajjajajajajajja Dios, !Qué mala y qué bien me lo he pasado! Lo de la parodia a Jersey Shore es una excusa para hacer otra peli mala de coste 2 euros..pero hay pelis serias que aburren más que esta. Ahí lo dejo.
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Sod me sidewards.
At one point I was hoping the sharks would grow legs, walk and land and kill the rest of the feckwits.
-
Douchebags being eaten by sharks.
Douchebags hanging out at the beach.
Douchebags doing one night stands.
Douchebags having love affairs.
Douchebags drinking in bars.
Douchebags dancing.
Douchebags doing weights.
Douchebags calling civilised people douchebags.
Douchebags with guns.
Douchebags shooting sharks.
Douchebags conducting wet t-shirt contests.
Douchebags sexually harrassing women.
Douchebags shutting down oil rigs.
Douchebags warning people of a shark attack.
Douchebags getting arrested.
Douchebags killing sharks with firecrackers.
Douchebags falling into the ocean.
Douchebags saving other douchebags from sharks.
Douchebags stealing guns.
Douchebags watching Joey Fatone perform live.
Douchebags warning Joey Fatone of sharks.
Douchebags offending Joey Fatone.What a lot of Douchebags...
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This film punches quality in the face and then casts actors that actually do a decent jobs in the roles that they play.
Go ahead and yell. I enjoyed this movie. Always watch with friends though.
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Film A Day #54 (23/1/2013)
Well, I honestly can't say it was boring.
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Some things cannot be unseen
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Much better than I expected. A little humor goes a long way. With the exception of horrible CGI sharks and the lack of nudity, much of it looks and feels very much like one of those straight to video sexy comedies from the late 80's-early 90's. I kept expecting Jay Richardson to show up.
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Having never watched a single second of Jersey Shore I feel I am missing a whole layer of parody here as I have no idea who these actors are pretending to be. Of course it is still obvious that this film has its tongue firmly in cheek throughout as we get a bunch of dumb Guidos trying to outwit albino killer sharks. Yet bizarrely none of the Jersey Shore facsimiles actually get eaten by a shark which is surely why most people would tune in to watch such a film? Even with this obvious oversight the film is actually pretty entertaining thanks to its unwavering crappiness.
The Syfy Channel seem to have outdone themselves once again with the special effects.…
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It was everything I hoped SHARK NIGHT would be.