Keith Lemon: The Film
2012 Directed by Paul Angunawela
Synopsis
With dreams of becoming a successful entrepreneur just like his beloved Richard Branson, Lemon bids farewell to his hometown of Leeds and heads for the capital. When he becomes an overnight billionaire, it seems everything is going his way, but it's not long before he discovers that life can be just as cruel as it is kind.
Popular reviews
More-
This film made me want to scratch my eyes out.
-
Keith Lemon: The Film is not the worst excuse for a movie I've ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on but it certainly is REALLY FUCKING HORRIBLE I WANT TO CUT SOMEONE'S FUCKING FACE FUCK THI
-
This could potentially be the worst movie I have ever seen.
Hateful TV character Keith Lemon is transported to the big screen for the most lame-brained, jizz-obsessed attempt at a comedy film I have ever had the displeasure to sit through. Leigh Francis seems to enjoy nothing more than making cheap tits/arse/fanny/shagging jokes at the expense of anything approaching wit. He attempts, with zero success, to complete the move to the big screen simply by shouting his catchphrases louder and more often rather than writing anything better.
But the worst thing is his attitude towards women, who are seen solely as sex objects and ethnic minorities, who are reduced to base stereotypes.
This is anything but bang tidy. I'd rather bludgeon my own head with a claw hammer until my face is a mess of splintered bone and gore than sit through even a second of this movie again.
-
In cinema's anatomy this film has the opposite function of the human sphincter.
-
Is it weird that this wasn't as bad as I was expecting? I was expecting this to be the worst film ever made, but what I got was just plain bad. I was slightly amused for a few moments, probably adding up to 90 seconds of funniness in the entire film. I smiled at Lemon's Rambo monologue, and the party scene picked up the proceedings considerably. But making jokes about a side-effect of a device that isn't entirely dissimilar to a stroke is just plain wrong.
Also, do all the people starring in this film want to kill their own careers? Gino Di Campo, I expected more from you...
-
It's so completely effective at making everyone involved look like an idiot that I'm far from convinced that this wasn't its intended purpose all along. Keith Lemon: The Film does seem to have been made of scraps from a sketch show's scriptwriting floor, glued together with stupid stuff that stupid people thought of whilst pissed. But whilst it is rubbish, it also doesn't contain anything that makes me personally angry.
I watched it with the same numb tolerance and occasional slight enjoyment I learned to apply to an awful lot of stuff when I was younger just to get by: on nights out in clubs playing music I didn't like, and time with people who secretly bored me and whom…
Recent reviews
More-
Keith Lemon: The Film is quite possibly, the worst SHA-TING movie I have ever seen! And I've seen Sex Lives of the Potato Men.
-
Full review in Episode #90 or 91...
-
I used to enjoy Keiths sexual innuendo and ribbing of celebrities on celebrity juice but the joke started to wear thin a couple of years ago and he became more reliant on catch phrases. Unfortunately about that time he got really popular and this is the result. One joke stretched very very thin over a short running time. Its just terrible. Apparently a sequel is in the works, ill avoid it when it pops up on netflix.
-
Spread over half an hour (including commercials), the antics of Keith Lemon are tolerable, verging on humerus. Stretched to feature length, the outcome is painful, verging on masochistic. Dreadfully unfunny from minute one, Keith Lemon: The Film mistakes puerile juvenile crudity for wit and invention, and tries to plug the gaps later on by parading a seemingly endless menagerie of D-list celebrity guests (David Hasselhoff! Peter Andre! Billy Ocean?). Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. And Kelly Brook, you may be extremely sexy, but you are a vacuous, empty, talentless cypher of a human being.
-
One of the worst films ever made. A vile, putrid, disgusting film. Never see it.
-
I went to see the rather excellent The Imposter yesterday which I will write about later in another post, but I noticed something in the ad and trailer pack that had been bothering me for a while. The Incongruous placement of an anti-piracy ad featuring Nick Love’s The Sweeny and the latest ad in the moments worth paying for campaign; reminded me to finally get a rant off my chest. I wrote another rant earlier in the year about the state of cinema going so consider this a footnote to that.
Now I happen to have a soft spot for geezer films, or at the very least my tolerance for them is higher than the average punter; but this is…
-
I'm not sure why I watched Keith Lemon: The Film. I have never found Keith Lemon funny in anyway. Maybe its because I'm the kind of person that if I'm told a plate is hot I have to touch it to check. I had to see if this film really was terrible and my god it was.
I didn't expect a plot filled with twists and thoughtful narrative however I didn't think it would be this bad. Fucking nothing happens, Keith Lemon invents a phone and gets rich, that is it.
The film tries to be smart trying to parody apple, with the Lemon Phone. People are asked why they love the Lemon Phone and they reply "Its got a…
-
I must admit that I enjoyed this far more than I really should have. It features just the right amount (i.e lots) of juvenile humour for this middle aged man. Plus of course it has Kelly Brook.
-
Movie Moxie Challenge Film 3. Really bad. Not funny. Jokes are driven into the ground over and over and over rendering you numb to life.