You can find the inspiration and some stellar alternate titles for this list in the thread of SilentJoe13's Review of…
Keith Lemon: The Film
With dreams of becoming a successful entrepreneur just like his beloved Richard Branson, Lemon bids farewell to his hometown of Leeds and heads for the capital. When he becomes an overnight billionaire, it seems everything is going his way, but it's not long before he discovers that life can be just as cruel as it is kind.
There aren’t many times when I’m watching a film that I start to wish that I was watching a Sarah Jessica Parker rom-com instead. However, this thought crossed my mind regularly during this truly abysmal cinematic outing from gurning ginger gobshite, Leigh Francis. Francis’ bafflingly popular creation Keith Lemon is a lewd twat with a fascination with crap British celebrities. He’s barely tolerable during the trailers advertising his TV show let alone during 85 shit-filled minutes of knob gags and D-list cameos.
Featuring a veritable who’s not of British celebrities Keith Lemon: The Film is a showcase of limited talent as the likes of Vernon Kay and Peter Andre mug their way through a script that tries far too hard…
Back in the '70s and '80s, it was obvious why British TV comedians made films - in a film, you can say "fuck" and "twat", maybe show some tits and make plenty of blowjob jokes. And there you have it, the low horizons of the British TV spin-off. But now you can say or do pretty much anything that's legal on television - and, if you're Chris Morris, you can probably strong-arm Channel 4 into letting you do some things that aren't legal - that game is over, surely? People must realise that there's no market for a sweary, salacious movie of a sweary, salacious TV show?
No. It turns out they do not.
Essentially the darkest-timeline version of Borat,…
This film made me want to scratch my eyes out.
In cinema's anatomy this film has the opposite function of the human sphincter.
A juvenile parade of offensive racial stereotypes, penis jokes, and flat physical gags. It seems to suggest that success is defined by defiling Kelly Brook and attaining a penis enlargement surgery. Just go away Keith Lemon, I never want to see you "seagull" over someone's "bangers" again, and neither should the rest of the world. This is contemptible, lazy trash that will forever stain the résumés of all involved.
Keith Lemon: The Film is not the worst excuse for a movie I've ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on but it certainly is REALLY FUCKING HORRIBLE I WANT TO CUT SOMEONE'S FUCKING FACE FUCK THI
Keith Lemon has been a permanent fixture on Britain's television sets for fifteen years. His disgusting antics and use of vulgar language makes him an unabashed joy to watch, especially on his hit comedy panel show Celebrity Juice. So, it seems fair that he'd eventually receive his own movie; you don't stay popular for a long time for no reason. Yet, Lemon's easily recognisable brand of juvenile humour and tongue-waggling shenanigans doesn't transcend well to the big screen - just like the abysmal The Harry Hill Movie,…
Keith Lemon: The Film is the lowest of the low when it comes to filmmaking and joins the likes of Mrs Brown's Boys D'Movie and The Harry Hill Movie as a film that makes you wish you were both deaf AND blind.
Leigh Francis' creation, Keith Lemon, is just about tolerable on half hour panel show Celebrity Juice so who the hell thought it was a good idea to let him have his own feature length film?!
There are plenty of Z-list celebrities on hand to make cameos and embarrass themselves further with lame and unfunny toilet humour that made me feel nauseous.
Finally, it really does say a lot about your film when Kelly Brook gives the best performance in a role where she basically plays a walking pair of tits.
An insult to British cinema
All Keith Lemon the film proves is kelly brook is one of the hottest women alive, but i guess it also proves how unfunny a movie can be.
My review -- to liven things up and to it down to the nitty-gritty straightaway this film project is a disaster peace from beginning to end in fact I'm pretty sure when I say this on my research on this project, frankly it has been condemned by every film critic or website and purely in a matter of facts and figures you will get to see this figure of enjoyment everywhere on every website 0%. The contents, I think in a nutshell Keith Lemon at first ones to make his business popular or well-known and after that I am not too sure where the storyline goes from there because it frankly makes very little logical sense and this is another…
As puerile and as lewd as expected but surprisingly a much better film than any reviews would have you believe. It's not going to change your opinion of Keith Lemon (I dislike the character but remain fascinated by the performance and continued mainstream success) but there is a story, a slight satire and a string of entertaining and bizarre cameos.
It's Keith Lemon: The Film. You pretty much know what to expect.
Bollocks: The Shitshow.
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- To the Wonder
- The Dirties
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