Horror movies are by far my favorite, so I've decided to make a list with all of them I remember…
When the last angel falls, the fight for mankind begins.
An out-of-the-way diner becomes the unlikely battleground for the survival of the human race. When God loses faith in humankind, he sends his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. Humanity's only hope lies in a group of strangers trapped in a desert diner with the Archangel Michael.
Apparently I've seen this before? Well that fact was more of a revelation than the apocalyptic bollocks that they managed to conjure from that book of the Bible. A ludicrous plot sees The Archangel Michael (Paul Bethany) pop down from Heaven, cut off his wings and head for a diner hoping to save a pregnant waitress's unborn baby. You'd think he'd be armed with lightning bolts or the wrath of God, but no, he has guns...lots of guns, and tattoos.
God has lost Faith in mankind and decided to wipe us out. No flood this time, just an army of Angels who seem to possess humans at will. To say this film is stupid would be an understatement, it's…
For greatest (or only) enjoyment, watch this while drunk and laugh all the way through at the unintentional but prevalent humor brought forth by everything that is Legion. Another fun thing to do is predicting the characters lines and see how many you can get right. My score: 3
'Legion' is a badly made stupid mess. But its also quite possibly the most entertainingly awful film that I've seen in a long time. Its fundamentally terrible across the board with its ridiculously idiotic script and laughable performances. Yet somehow among the shower of shit it throws at you I was oddly entertained.
As a taster to the films ridiculousness: near the start of the movie an elderly women on a zimmer frame enters the diner where our protagonists are. After a brief introduction she reveals that she is possessed by a demon by calling a women a *bleepety* *bleep*, then gets hit with a frying pan and crawls onto the ceiling (with laughable CGI I must add). The whole thing culminates in her 'bitchslapping' Dennis Quaid over a table and darting across the room like she is on wheels. Its so awful I think it might actually be a stroke of genius.
Religion induced idiocy.
This film isn't bad, it's completely and utterly stupid.
And that's far, far worse.
God is a capricious asshole.
Legion follows a group of people (including Dennis Quaid, Tyrese Gibson, Kate Walsh and a pregnant Adrianne Palicki) who are stranded in a diner in the middle of a desert. When the diner is attacked by a possessed old lady (one of the movie's highlights), the collective begin to think something's not right. When the TV signal stops and the desert is flooded by a giant swarm of locusts, exiled angel Michael (Paul Bettany) shows up to confirm what we've been thinking all along: Shit's fucked. (By shit's fucked, I mean that Palicki's unborn child is actually the saviour of mankind and we'll all be saved if the diner inhabitants can weather the invasion of…
It's too long, its too monotonous and its too dialogue heavy. The film spends far more time with one-note human torsos than it does with the core angel Michael himself. Biblical revisionism such as this isn't what I would consider to be cool, or edgy. It's never been that.
Unless I was still 15, maybe. But i'm not. Even then i'd have probably been bored to tears with the wooden performances and dredging pace, with a screenplay that's played too normal to be silly, but to silly to be taken seriously. It's a mess.
It's not a totally joyless affair though. The moment Kevin Durand turns up as the Archangel Gabriel, brandishing a medieval mace, the fun factor begins to twitch. But it doesn't last for long and there's alot of baggy nonsense to get through first.
Also, Doug Jones turns up for a minute as a possessed Ice Cream man... It's always nice to see Doug Jones in things.
Niet bijster intelligente actiefilm over goed en kwaad, wel vermakelijk
So that was that, I guess. High concept stuff sits pretty well with me so naturally, Legion had been on my 'I guess at some point I'll watch that' list for a while. Angel Paul Bettany comes to Earth, hacks of his wings and then heads to a diner to save a few people from the upcoming apocalypse, mainly because one of the women inside is pregnant with a baby that can save mankind. Or something. He never really bothers to explain how or why. I suppose it's a unique (and the film is certainly unique) look at how Jesus may arrive if born today. Maybe.
This is entertaining rubbish from start to finish. Simplistic in it's plotting and characterisation,…
I can only assume they made this is as a practical joke. There is no other reasonable reason for its existence.
crap but the angels are cool, and The Slut is hot.
With such a cast I was hoping for something better.
A run-down diner becomes the unlikely setting for the battle of good versus evil.
Here is a supernatural action movie that should have everything going for it, but unfortunately fails to deliver. The 'seen it all before' plot does have some good ideas, but with it's turgid story-telling, excessive talking and ridiculous amount of gunfire, it ends up just being a bit of a mess. The action sequences are few and far between and everything is shot in such a dark way that when something does happen, the viewer has trouble making out what actually is going on. The characters are all completely generic, and even Paul Bettany seems almost robotic in his leading role. The special effects are a…
My wife, her sister and I wanted a fun, dumb action movie to watch. LEGION lacked any fun in its dumbness. Rather embarrassingly–and inexplicably–I had hopes for LEGION. I thought the cast would be strong enough to weather anything. It also seemed like they got their angel warrior visualizations from comics—Ennis’s GHOST RIDER for something too. The bright lights. Even though LEGION had online buzz (undeservedly), it seems forgotten (thankfully). The post readership’s steadily dwindling.
Yucky, poor direction, RIDICULOUS third act.
Really wanted to love this (angels with machine guns!) but the idea was just way too underdeveloped. The whole thing takes place in one boring location, not enough supernatural shit. The lead character is the dude from the Fast and Furious Japan movie and it honestly took me almost the entire movie to realize that he wasn't supposed to be partially retarded. Good cameos by Doug Jones and the mercenary dude from Lost though.
Contains every horror film made that is not lost and is found on the letterboxd database.
If there is any…
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