Watchlist of movies that only you and your best friends might appreciate.
Suggestion: Use www.random.org/ to draw which ones to…
An out-of-the-way diner becomes the unlikely battleground for the survival of the human race. When God loses faith in humankind, he sends his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. Humanity's only hope lies in a group of strangers trapped in a desert diner with the Archangel Michael.
Apparently I've seen this before? Well that fact was more of a revelation than the apocalyptic bollocks that they managed to conjure from that book of the Bible. A ludicrous plot sees The Archangel Michael (Paul Bethany) pop down from Heaven, cut off his wings and head for a diner hoping to save a pregnant waitress's unborn baby. You'd think he'd be armed with lightning bolts or the wrath of God, but no, he has guns...lots of guns, and tattoos.
God has lost Faith in mankind and decided to wipe us out. No flood this time, just an army of Angels who seem to possess humans at will. To say this film is stupid would be an understatement, it's…
For greatest (or only) enjoyment, watch this while drunk and laugh all the way through at the unintentional but prevalent humor brought forth by everything that is Legion. Another fun thing to do is predicting the characters lines and see how many you can get right. My score: 3
Religion induced idiocy.
This film isn't bad, it's completely and utterly stupid.
And that's far, far worse.
Well this is an intriguing premise, God has lost faith in humanity and instead of using a flood to wipe out humanity he's sending an army of angels. But the Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) thinks this is a bad call and voluntarily goes to Earth to protect the next savior. Well this is going be cool! An angel flying around using a flaming sword or some holy artifacts to.....wait he doesn't have wings and he only uses plain old machine guns. Well surely there will an epic backdrop like a famous church! The Hagia Sophia or Notre Dame or......a roadside diner?!? Really?!? Well surely Michael fighting an army of angels will be really......he only fights one angel and the rest…
'Legion' is a badly made stupid mess. But its also quite possibly the most entertainingly awful film that I've seen in a long time. Its fundamentally terrible across the board with its ridiculously idiotic script and laughable performances. Yet somehow among the shower of shit it throws at you I was oddly entertained.
As a taster to the films ridiculousness: near the start of the movie an elderly women on a zimmer frame enters the diner where our protagonists are. After a brief introduction she reveals that she is possessed by a demon by calling a women a *bleepety* *bleep*, then gets hit with a frying pan and crawls onto the ceiling (with laughable CGI I must add). The whole thing culminates in her 'bitchslapping' Dennis Quaid over a table and darting across the room like she is on wheels. Its so awful I think it might actually be a stroke of genius.
Film 15/30 of Scavenger Hunt Challenge #4
Task #8. A film featuring a humanoid character with wings
So, humanity is beyond hope - it's time to be wiped off the map... Except this baby who's actually humanity's last hope... So, humanity is NOT actually beyond hope then?
So, the big guy who lives in the clouds and watches us masturbate - was just bored and wanted to reset his Animal Crossing town? Or start a new Sims family - if that floats your boat... Personally I'm an Animal Crossing guy - I can't get enough of those talking animals. Especially the talking squirrels - when they walk around and their tails bounce - it makes me happy...
5.5/10 - Mr Pink
This movie is maligned probably more than it deserves. It had a great preview - creepy old lady turns into a creepy monster and tries to kill people in a diner. That's a pretty good hook. And I've certainly witnessed worse films that made more money. It's an intriguing premise - God grows tired of mankind and sends his angels to scourge the earth. Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) falls from grace to save a young unwed mother and her unborn child who child is the savior of mankind because he still has faith in mankind. Unfortunately it degenerates from there into fairly pedestrian territory, as the mother of the child is a waitress at a remote gas station a la…
The time has come. The end is here. We've all been very naughty. It's time to pay the piper. It's time for all of humanity to snuff it. Oh dear. But fear not! Paul Bettany has cut off his wings and rallied to our cause. Get ready for the WWE Angelic Smackdown™! (But only on pay-per-view.)
Remember when Paul Bettany had an acting career? In a steady slide which began seemingly harmlessly with the sleight romance of Wimbledon, Bettany is now reduced to cardboard cut-out bad guys and action heroes. A Beautiful Mind and Master And Commander seem but a distant memory. And sadly for Bettany, he's about to do it all again in Scott Stewart's Priest, his next unholy…
I enjoyed this film a lot more when it was called The Terminator
Still somewhat mediocre from the last time I saw this, but not as boring as I originally thought.
i think this may be the worst film ive ever seen and that includes spy kids 3
Nice going, God! :/
Ok, this movie is real bad, but at the same time, it is perfectly enjoyable fluff. It's on par with a show like Supernatural, of course without the great characters. In fact most of the characters in this movie are laughable "types." But Legion has more machine guns than a typical episode of Supernatural, so, bonus.
How do you make Paul Bettany as a machine gun-wielding angel so straight-facedly boring?
That said, the bit with the old lady was the most I've laughed in months.
A comprehensive, alphabetical list of films released in the United States that have been condemned by the Catholic Church since…
All the films mentioned by name in Kim Newman's definitive encyclopedia of horror films, Nightmare Movies. Well worth a read.…