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Coming together to solve a series of murders in New York City are a DEA agent whose family was slain as part of a conspiracy and an assassin out to avenge her sister's death. The duo will be hunted by the police, the mob, and a ruthless corporation.
The Good: Some shots look cool.
The Bad: Lame and boring as fuck.
The Bottom Line: Why can't anyone make at least one decent video game movie? Just one...
Worse than the clap??????
Every one has a movie that they call there least favorite/most hated. For some, it's Jack and Jill. For some, it's The Phantom Menace. For some others, It's Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. What is it for me you're asking? Well, it's this ABORTION of a movie.
For those of you who don't know, this is an adaption of the 2001 video game masterpiece. A action noir crime game. In it, you play as Max Payne, a cop who comes home one night who comes home to find his wife and daughter murdered by a bunch of junkies under the new drug called V. He kills the druggies, but loses his family. With loss of grief…
I may not be a gamer, but I had actually heard of the Max Payne character before this film lurched into existence back in 2008. I didn't know fuck-all about the character or the game, other than the fact it was a third person shooter game, but it must have been fairly popular as it got two sequels which is more than this pile of wank got.
The plot made no sense to me. Mark Wahlberg reminded me of a videogame character, because he sure as hell isn't an actor. My interest in this waned pretty much as soon as Olga Kurylenko bought the farm at the hands of ?. I watched it, but could I tell you what killed…
I swear this is one of the worst films I have ever seen.
Seriously. The amount of flak this video game adaptation gets I was expecting Mortal Kombat: Annihilation or Silent Hill: Revelations. I prepared myself for complete and utter bollocks and what I got instead was a very expensive B-Movie which doesn't really feel much like Max Payne.
To say the acting is poor here would suggest that the persons on screen are actually doing any of that acting stuff to begin with. This is essentially a group of people, sleep-reading lines from a bland and cliched script.
The only actor here that managed to keep my attention was Olga kurylenko and she's barley even in the movie. Poor Marky Mark just isn't gruff, cynical or dickhead'ish enough to portray Max Payne.…
Maybe one day, one day, Hollywood will get the video game to movie transfer right. This adaptation of Max Payne makes me really wonder if that's ever gonna happen though. I never played the original game but knew enough of the premise going in - but surely the game was better than THIS? And by this, I mean perhaps the dullest action movie of the decade. It doesn't help that Mark Walhberg - usually reliable - spends the movie looking like a constipated owl, or that his (and every other) character is utterly one-dimensional. Nor does it help wasting cuteness like Mila Kunis on a role she could have stayed and home and done on the phone, making Amaury Nolasco's…
A black hole of a movie. Devoid of any human emotion or fun or...anything really. Blowing blow balls for a week with no food or water alone in a blow ball field sounds more plausible and realistic than making me go anywhere near this movie ever again.
Films based on video games often have a lot of problems. I often think that's largely due to the fundamental differences between the mediums; popular video games tend to be high on interactivity- playing 'Max Payne' (the 2001 game) was a lot of fun. Watching someone else play 'Max Payne' for an hour and forty minutes... clearly much less fun.
That said, 'Max Payne' (the movie this time) occupies the upper echelons of the video-game-movie hierarchy, largely due to it's willingness to throw out large chunks of the game's plot and re-jig proceedings into something that feels at least reasonably cinematic. Unfortunately in making this conversion the filmmakers and cast seem to have forgotten that the game had a sense…
At 12 years old, I was really sad after I saw this. I left the theater confused. I thought that maybe the script was so twisty and turny that my feeble mind just couldn't keep up with it. And then I realized, no, it's just a convoluted, piece of shit movie.
Mila Kunis--looking like a 13 year old in a Mona Sax Halloween costume (one can only guess she was cast based on how much she looks like an infant variant on the dead-eyed model from Max Payne 2 when she has her hair tied back)--surprises M. Payne and, at gunpoint, instructs him to drop his pistol. She then tells him to remove his backup piece *with his left hand*. She repeats this for emphasis: YOUR LEFT HAND.
Mark Wahlberg then does as she asks, removing another gun from an ankle holster with his left hand, which is the very hand he had been holding his primary sidearm in, because it is his dominant hand. He is left handed. She has…
Somehow Marky Mark's comedic timing still shines through even in this supposedly dark, gritty video game-based thriller. Somehow Ludacris manages to carry this entire movie. And people continue to cast Mila Kunis in grossly inappropriate intimidating roles. So really, Max Payne is yet more proof that a video game never makes a good movie.
Check out how we make this one better in our Make it Better! podcast:
500 DIFFERENT FILMS IN 2016
Never being a fan of the game mainly do to the fact that I sucked at it, I just can't hold the fact that this is not like the game against it. And while it's not a great film by any stretch of the imagination I do find quite a bit to like about it, mainly the look of the world this film takes place in. I love the snowy noir setting and I think the film is beautifully shot, it's not as hyper-real as Sin City and not as gritty as say Taxi Driver but it very much feels like a comic-book come to life and this look would have been perfect for a Punisher film, in fact in many ways this feels like a Punisher film. I also think the last act has some cool action with Max going on a drug fueled killing spree.
Mila, Please Stop Doing Bad Movies. Directed by My Hopes and Dreams.
THE MOST COMPLETE LIST OF NEO NOIR FILMS ON LETTERBOXD.
The film noir genre generally refers to mystery and crime…