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Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Whoever wins... we lose!
When the prehistoric warm-water beast the Crocosaurus crosses paths with that cold-water monster the Mega Shark, all hell breaks loose in the oceans as the world's top scientists explore every option to halt the aquatic frenzy. Swallowing everything in their paths -- including a submarine or two -- Croc and Mega lead an explorer and an oceanographer on a wild chase. Eventually, the desperate men turn to a volcano for aid.
I was constipated so I decided to take my laptop into the bathroom with me because I thought a nice mindless movie might be conducive to my pooping but this film was so bad and boring that my poop started going in the opposite direction and came out of my mouth.
What am I doing with my life.
A political satire beyond compare. This is a masterpiece that will keep me up for many nights to come, contemplating serious shit. Like life. Death. The corrupt two-party system that keeps us enslaved. Beautiful.
What you see is what you get!
And that's a good thing because in my humble opinion "Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus" is one of these B-Movies that actually delivers. Both on the eponymous monster front and the self aware laugh inducing front.
Of course this is quite awful but if you put this kind of movie on and don't want to have fun but expect something along the lines of "Schindler's List" the jokes on you.
It took me a whoppin' 20 minutes to recognise Jaleel White. But when I finally did his character became instantly more hilarious.
"Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus" is not quite on the same level as "Sharknado" and "Ghost Shark" but it's definitely one of the entertaining low budget B-Movies of the last few years.
Watched this while recovering from kidney surgery. Frankly, the breaks I took to piss blood were more enjoyable.
Don't. Not even as a joke.
Don't. You've been warned.
Steve Urkel, the Spanish/British/Italian Han Solo (I can't place his accent) and a sexy Secret Service agent hunt down a mega shark and a mega crocodile. I hadn't realized that shark hunting came under the purview of the Secret Service, but these shark movies are nothing if not learning tools.
Just an awful, awful movie. AND I have three more Christopher Ray-directed movies on my dvr... Fuck. Me.
As an aside, I can't believe I'm only 15 movies into this project... It feels like 40 (which is probably the amount of years the project has taken off my life expectancy).
Das ist der schlechteste Film den ich je gesehen habe, aber genau deswegen ist er so genial. Durchgehende Lachflashes garantiert!
Con el cine comercial palomero de la actualidad.....la verdad es que ya no existen muchas diferencias entre estas producciones, a excepción de el calibre de los efectos especiales........que puedo decir mínimo no es aburrida........
"I think the shark just went nuclear."
2nd film in the Asylum's flagship series finds a US Navy shark expert (Jaleel "Urkel" White) and an Aussie croc-hunter being pressed into service by a top secret government monster-fighting squad whose mission, of course, is to kill the two title critters. Poorly CGI'd mayhem ensues in a film that appears to have been made up as it went along. Pretty weak, even by Asylum standards.
It should be noted, however that my soon to be 7 year old son and my 11 year old niece thought it was "awesome."
Boa ich sehe mir eigentlich immer alle filme zu ende an...aber der war mir dann doch zu schlecht...auch wenn sich manche Schauspieler wirklich angestrengt haben. Naja die Animation ist zum kotzen und die nicht vorhandenen Effekte ebenso. Man sieht kein einziges mal Blut. Und...ach was solls. Ich hab mir die letzten 10 Minuten gespart und bin lieber schlafen gegangen.
It wasn't quite trash enough for a trash movie.
Jaleel White - Dr Terry McCormick
I didn't list the directors name above because it really doesn't matter. For the first time though I did list the production and distribution company Asylum films. They are the machine behind such films knockoff as Transmorphers, The Day the Earth Stopped and Snakes on a Train.
MS vs CS really has not plot. It is a bunch on segments of military men and wild animal hunters traveling the globe tracking two over sized animals and trying to kill them. Maybe. Nothing in this movie really matters. FOr Christ's sake TV's Urkel "stars" in this movie.
I'm not sure if you are familiar with the Cinemax late night shows Busty Cops? MS…
My review -- this fantasy/science-fiction/action/drama film title is now on DVD and the budget and the profit margin are inconclusive to me based on the facts I couldn't find them. The basic storyline is this [you will have to take my word for it -- meaning it is what it is and I can't really make it up.] The audience descends on this location where there seems to be an illegal mining operation going on, but this illegal activity quickly stops when everyone realizes that there is this giant crocosaurus on the loose [somehow -- it is that big that you can't really miss it and it cannot really do stealthy approaches.] Meanwhile on the other side of the world…
Oddly enough, much better than Mega Shark v. Giant Octopus. Like, exponentially better even. Almost a good movie in fact.
A collection of all the B-Movies I've seen made by The Asylum, ranked from favorite to least favorite.