Jean-Claude Van Damme features for about 10 minutes in the whole film. The rest of this excruciatingly bad martial arts film focusses on the Karate Kid's repressed retarded cousin and his disturbing infatuation with all things Bruce Lee (says the man who's watched 9 JCVD films in the last 3 weeks approx). The ending to this film is so cheesy I felt physically sick.

The positives are really limited to just the choreographed fights (particularly the one at the start in the dojo and the one at the end with JCVD and, er, the man whose name I've forgotten - the champion bloke who's the brother of the girlfriend) and some of the expressions the fat kid makes are hilarious. And this: farm2.staticflickr.com/1307/1041334413_e6131f6ca2.jpg

Otherwise it's fucking awful.

The most fun I've had watching a movie in a long time. It's hard to describe just how moronically great this is, but it's as if a 13 year old boy wrote and shot his own Karate Kid movie. There's even the ghost of Bruce Lee in this, along with Van Damme playing a Russian bad guy ala Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago. If you're watching closely, there's also a scene that feels like Breakin'. Add in some hilariously unintentional homoerotic material, a comically evil fat kid and you have No Retreat, No Surrender. Seriously, this is an absolute blast.

I’m not sure this film can be rated by normal methods.

So, instead, I shall just link to the most homoerotic scene outside of actual gay porn.

There. How can you not love that?

The casual, no-harm-intended 80s racism in this is so confusing it's off the charts! So is the nonsensical plotlines and character choices, bizarre scenes that make no sense because scenes leading up to them were obviously left on the cutting room floor, and weird butt-thrust, vanilla ice cream training montages. Most of the movie takes place in a Seattle with spanish tiles on houses and palm trees and stuff. In other words, this movie is pretty cool.

'80s alternate-reality goofiness at its best. Perfectly bad acting will make your guts ache.

The most fun I've had watching a movie in a long time. It's hard to describe just how moronically great this is, but it's as if a 13 year old boy wrote and shot his own Karate Kid movie. There's even the ghost of Bruce Lee in this, along with Van Damme playing a Russian bad guy ala Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago. If you're watching closely, there's also a scene that feels like Breakin'. Add in some hilariously unintentional homoerotic material, a comically evil fat kid and you have No Retreat, No Surrender. Seriously, this is an absolute blast.

Back in the 80's when Karate Dojos were hot commodities everyone wanted in on the action. Including the mob.
Our hero is forced to leave town when his father is beaten up by vicious karate mobsters. Relocated to Seattle he summons the spirit of Bruce Lee to teach him the secrets of better karate to unleash on the European Death Machine Ivan "The Russian" (a young Jean Claude Van Damme). The film features some pretty good martial arts; some fantastically wooden performances and the most bizarre training montage this side of Rocky.
On technical level it's a piece of shit but everyone is so committed that it's hard to not to feel charmed by it.

The casual, no-harm-intended 80s racism in this is so confusing it's off the charts! So is the nonsensical plotlines and character choices, bizarre scenes that make no sense because scenes leading up to them were obviously left on the cutting room floor, and weird butt-thrust, vanilla ice cream training montages. Most of the movie takes place in a Seattle with spanish tiles on houses and palm trees and stuff. In other words, this movie is pretty cool.

I’m not sure this film can be rated by normal methods.

So, instead, I shall just link to the most homoerotic scene outside of actual gay porn.

There. How can you not love that?

One of JCVD's first, and every bit as competent as Miami Connection. Not sure who is getting the short end of the stick in that comparison. Loved it.