Synopsis
Twice the Teeth. Twice the Terror.
After the events at Lake Victoria, the prehistoric school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into swimming pools, plumbing, and a newly opened water park.
2012 Directed by John Gulager
After the events at Lake Victoria, the prehistoric school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into swimming pools, plumbing, and a newly opened water park.
Danielle Panabaker Matt Bush Katrina Bowden Jean-Luc Bilodeau David Koechner Chris Zylka Adrian Martinez Paul James Jordan Meagan Tandy David Hasselhoff Christopher Lloyd Paul Scheer Gary Busey Clu Gulager Sierra Fisk Matt Lintz Sylvia Jefferies Jenna Hurt Rozlyn Papa Alisa Harris Stacy Rabon Nate Panning Kathy Sue Holtorf Irina Voronina Ving Rhames Sarah Wilson Katie Garner Lilith Fury Tabitha Taylor
Ashley Cusato Jennifer Badger John Copeman Dino Muccio Jeremy Owens Tina Fuchs Wanner Angelique Fawcette
Piranha Returns, Piranha Three-Double-D, Piranhas 3DD: I epistrofi, Piranijos 3DD, Piranha 3D 2, פיראנה 3DD, Piraña 2 3D, Piranha DD, Піранья 3DD, ปิรันย่า กัดแหลกแหวกทะลุจอ ดับเบิ้ลดุ, Piraña 2 (Piranha 3DD), Piranha 2 3D, Piraña 2 3DD, Пираньи 3DD, Piranha XXL, กัดแหลกแหวกทะลุจอ ดับเบิ้ลดุ, 食人鱼3DD, Piranha 2, Piraňa 3DD, Pirania 3DD, Πιράνχας 3DD: Η Επιστροφή, פיראנה 2, 3D食人魚2:全面獵殺, Пираня 3DD, 變種食人 3DD祼命水世界, 피라냐 3DD, Pirañas 3DD, Піраньї 3DD, Cá Hổ Piranha 2, ピラニア リターンズ
Is it a bird??
NO!!
Is it a plane??
NO!!
It's Moron Man, who against better judgement and a ton of bad reviews still decided to watch his crap!
A quick summary:
Boob shot
Ass shot
Shot of gnarling and yapping fish
Dying generic teenagers
Boob shot
Boob shot
Yapping fish swimming by (which actually look faker than most of the boobs)
Penis shot
The Hoff (who plays himself. Badly.)
CGI blood
People I don't give a fuck about that are dying
The scariest bit of this film: A hint towards a sequel....
I'd like to close with a quote from the film that sums up nicely what level it sinks to:
'Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina.'
14
“Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina.”
That’s it. That’s the review.
Everything that felt marginally, knowingly playful about the gruesome bad-taste digital splatter garishness/obnoxiousness in Aja's remake is just plain loathsome here (David Hasselhoff playing himself - so epic!), and I'm not just saying this because there's a character named Josh who gets his dick bitten off.
Why the fuck did they call it 3DD instead of 4DD why would an extra D mean it’s the sequel what the fuck
"What do you think?"
"I think this is a very expensive joke."
Watching this film gave me the worst second-hand embarrassment for everyone involved. I mean, it starts with a dead cow shitting out piranha eggs and only gets worse from there...
Played a drinking game to this
Drink every time you see boobs
Drink every time someone dies
Drink every time someone does something dumb
It’s safe to say I’m pretty drunk right now
NO ONE GETS YOU WETTER!!!
I thought the Alexandre Aja movie was a pretty over-the-top affair, but Double D might top that movie in terms of absurdity? It's kind of like what James Cameron did in his sequel to the original Piranha, and I have to say I dig it. Bring on the silliness!
Shelby: Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina.
"Double the action, double the terror, DOUBLE THE D's!!"
This was a lot more fun than I expected it to be! I miss when these mid to late 2000's horror films used to be excessively trashy. Very dramatic and over the top they carried some of the campy energy of their predecessors. And wow I forgot just how raunchy this one is! Full throttle nonsense hooeeeyyyy!
The characters, acting and CGI are all as weak as you would expect. But it's balanced with the entertaining cameos (Hasslehoff giant lol), and shlocky over the top scenes. The piranha biting off the guys weiner was pretty dang intense! Brought me back to the gory mid 2000s films. And a clothing optional adult…
Piranha 3DD getting anything over 2 stars should be a cinematic crime. All the campy fun from it's predecessor vanished when this thriller took itself too seriously. From the insipid plot, actors who can barely act, thinly written characters and cringy visual effects - anyone with sense should delete their illegally downloaded copy of Piranha 3DD once and for all. You don't deserve to go to jail for this sh*t.
“No, don’t listen to my pussy-ass mouth.” - Ving Rhames, Golden Globe winner, roast beef sandwich enthusiast, and shining bright spot in the gory, goofy, but quite inferior Piranha 3DD