So I bought this car. It was pretty flash back in 2003, fast and fun to drive. It took some unexpected corners and was a surprising thrillful ride that I really enjoyed.

After a few years I got the new model thinking it would give me the same buzz, but it didn't. It felt overcomplicated, like the designers had too many ideas and had crammed in too much cleverness into what should be a simple concept car, getting me from A to B with the minimum fuss but with a lot of excitement. And when the 3series model came out, the designers were clearly prescribing to me their version of fun, which seemed to involve a lot of peripherals which…

"Did everyone see that, because I WILL NOT be doing that again!" - Captain Jack Sparrow

Well, this could have been a lot worse. But, it's not great. In fact, it's a slightly pleasant surprise. But also a disappointment. A disappointment that the series has continued on after the rather epic World's End. Although the previous entry to the series is almost universally despised, I found a lot to like about it. For me, the true ending was there. So, pray tell, why have they decided to downscale after the finale with a tacked-on extra that really would have been more suited to a TV series?

The reason I mention a TV series is the method on which they carried…

I didn't think it would be possible to make a film as tedious as the last Pirates of the Caribbean but new director Rob Marshall has managed it. I guess it shouldn't have come as too much of a shock seeing as Marshall hasn't managed to make a decent film yet but I was at least hoping the absence of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley would have improved things. Sadly, On Stranger Tides still suffers from the same problems, namely a bloated and uninteresting story, too much Jack Sparrow and supporting characters not up to the job. Even though the film starts with a flurry of activity it still can't help but be terminally dull. The action has little consequence…

I will preface this by saying that i only liked the first Pirates. The second one was shit, and i had little to no interest n seeing the 3rd. The only reason I watched this one was because it was on Starz, and it was late. This movie fucking sucked. I mean I understand why Disney keeps milking the tit of this franchise. Because way too many people will see anything that that company shits out of it's womb, or anything that Johnny Depp gets out of bed to do. When will people stop jerking the Disney company off for almost no reason, I mean c'mon, they are repeatedly shitting out low quality movies/cartoons/franchises/direct-to-DVD horseshit. The reason they get away…

On Stranger Tides feels like part of the POTC "expanded universe" - something akin to Star Wars' cartoons, books, or comics. It's sort of the "further adventures of Jack Sparrow", taking place outside of the main story of the franchise.
The problem is that it makes it feel like exactly what it is - Pirates of the Caribbean stripped down to just Jack Sparrow. I can't put it any better than one review I read:
"...But the worst offense of the film is its insistence that Jack Sparrow is the protagonist. Jack Sparrow was never meant to be a protagonist. He is Coyote, Puck, Loki; the trickster that causes the leads of the story to go off into wildly different…

Vijf jaar nadat Jack Sparrow en zijn scheepsmaten de bioscoopzalen enterden in 'Pirates of the Caribbean: at world's end' mag Deppster opnieuw het ooglapje aanspannen als de meest gevreesde zeerover van de zeven wereldzeeën. De barre zeewind waait deze keer wel een andere richting uit: Keira Knightly en Orlando Bloom hebben ander sop gekozen en regisseur Gore Verbinski liet zich aan het regieroer vervangen door Rob Marshall (‘Chicago', ‘Nine'). Jerry Bruckheimers miljardenfranchise heeft overduidelijk averij opgelopen want 'Pirates of the Caribbean: at world's end' is een lawaaiige opdonder van een film die er nergens in slaagt om zwierig escapisme te leveren.

Nochtans werd Jack Sparrow deze keer gecounterd door een sparringpartner van formaat. Penelope Cruz, de volbloed mediterrane schone voor…

Where do I begin with this film? Following on the coattails of the first three Pirates films, this one comes as a huge letdown from the franchise. While most people agree that the two after The Curse of the Black Pearl are not as good as the first, this one is definitely the worst of them all.

Let's start with the biggest problem: having Jack Sparrow as the main character. That's an issue because Jack Sparrow is a static character; he reacts to the situation and people around him. His dynamic comes from others and there is no one in this film that provides him with a proper dynamic. He's good for one liners and witty banter, but not much…