Today marks the 5 year anniversary of awesomeness in my life. This list represents every movie my old lady (she…
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Live Forever Or Die Trying.
Captain Jack Sparrow crosses paths with a woman from his past, and he's not sure if it's love -- or if she's a ruthless con artist who's using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard, Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn't know who to fear more: Blackbeard or the woman from his past.
I see people rating this over Verbinski's sequels. A lot.
Granted, Penélope Cruz is more gorgeous to see than Keira an infinite number of times. They took Orlando Bloom out of the context and made Depp and Rush come back again. Still, somehow, the film manages to be a total bore, saved for some old-Hollywood-style swashbuckling action more predominant than the previous multimillionaire and intense PG-13 CGIed action shown in the previous installments and Jack Sparrow's character, who still remains an unequalled irreverent character thanks to Depp's unique (and bizarre) acting talents. Moreover, lack of unpopular characters has never made an entire movie better.
This entry now makes Rob Marshall an official entry into my "Most Boring Directors Working Today" book (yes, that includes that particularly overrated musical of 2001, so I apologize for the fans).
I love it when Penélope Cruz curses in Spanish.
So I bought this car. It was pretty flash back in 2003, fast and fun to drive. It took some unexpected corners and was a surprising thrillful ride that I really enjoyed.
After a few years I got the new model thinking it would give me the same buzz, but it didn't. It felt overcomplicated, like the designers had too many ideas and had crammed in too much cleverness into what should be a simple concept car, getting me from A to B with the minimum fuss but with a lot of excitement. And when the 3series model came out, the designers were clearly prescribing to me their version of fun, which seemed to involve a lot of peripherals which…
When I first saw this film back in 2011 I was more than a little disappointed. We had no Keira, no Orlando, and no Gore Verbinski. The fact that they threw Penelope Cruz into the mix did excite me and with mermaids and the Fountain Of Youth as the new object of everyone's desire, this should have been another fun filled adventure. So what went wrong?
At World's End had felt bloated amid all the CGI as Disney attempted yet again to empty every parents pockets. Some of it worked, a lot of it didn't. Rob Marshall's film however struggles from the very start. The script which always gave Johnny Depp the chance to shine, was pedestrian and lacking in…
Film #36 in The June Challenge
I have very little to say about this film, as it is pretty much just more of the same. The latest Pirates film fits perfectly in to the typical action-adventure format of the previous films, and it definitely delivers with some good swashbuckling action. The film is well photographed, and looks very nice, especially the special effects and production design are done quite well. The biggest criticism against the film is that it doesn't challenge the expectations for another film in this series, and suffers because it has all been done before.
A few chuckles and some sparks of originality aside, On Stranger Tides is a joyless, generic and stale by-the-numbers sequel that lacks the emotional punch and adventurous intensity of the original trilogy.
"Did everyone see that, because I WILL NOT be doing that again!" - Captain Jack Sparrow
Well, this could have been a lot worse. But, it's not great. In fact, it's a slightly pleasant surprise. But also a disappointment. A disappointment that the series has continued on after the rather epic World's End. Although the previous entry to the series is almost universally despised, I found a lot to like about it. For me, the true ending was there. So, pray tell, why have they decided to downscale after the finale with a tacked-on extra that really would have been more suited to a TV series?
The reason I mention a TV series is the method on which they carried…
Marginally better than the last two entries - it's noticeably shorter - and a little more edgy: the British Empire on the quest for the Fountain of Youth because immortality cannot land in the hands of Spanish "Catholics," yelps King George II. In a hilarious bit, the Spanish would rather sacrifice the ultimate imperialist tool in the name of destroying a profane temple of idolatry - a discussion of faith unconvincingly superimposed, as Pirates are conniving cynics, forever straddling the line between good and bad, bellowing in laughter upon hearing religious words and, yet, their whole culture is based on deterministic fables and prophecies, an illogical or fool-hearted comparison to Biblical ideologies. And as always, there's an element of the…
I published a negative review of this when it opened in cinemas. On a rewatch, though, I found a lot to like about it.
It loses the incredible sense of scale seen in the third film, but the writing and the story are better, and less of it is actively bad.
I'm glad I went back and rewatched the whole series. Turns out I like all four of them. The next one is coming from the directors of Kon-Tiki, and that seems like a good starting point to me.
STOP DISNEY WHILE THEY ARE AHEAD DAMNIT
Cool movie. It's good to see new faces.
When I recently watched the Pirates trilogy in three days, I discovered that they are much better when viewed in close succession. On Stranger Tides, however, would have been a much more enjoyable watch in the theater, having missed my beloved Jack Sparrow and Hector Barbossa. Unfortunately, due to some seriously negative feedback from those I trust, I never ended up going.
Those people weren't exactly wrong to hate on the 4th installment in what we can now refer to as a saga, but I still should have gone. There's just something so attractive to me about dirty, bearded men, swashbuckling around the seas. I only wish there would have been more of it and less weird (scary) mermaid love…
What makes this franchise great is nonexistent in this 4th and unnecessary installment. C-
I might be over generous in my rating, but after the last two movies of the series, On Stranger Tides almost looks competent. The story is simpler this time (although the tacked on love story is pretty stupid, it's still way better than Knightley and Bloom), everything isn't as ridiculous, and while there's no real "characters" onscreen, they aren't any cinematic abortions on display, either. If you consider that a ringing endorsement, it is for this mostly awful series.
Horribly dull. Only Penelope Cruz was able to save this mess from completely sinking under its ridiculously bloated weight. Ugh.
Didn't work out as well without Orlando or Kiera eh?
- Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
- X-Men: Days of Future Past
- The Amazing Spider-Man 2
- The Grand Budapest Hotel
- The Wolf of Wall Street
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
- The Reluctant Dragon
(Last Updated: 4 March 2014)
In early 1923, Kansas City, Missouri animator Walt Disney created a short film entitled Alice's…
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I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…