• Seqlitsch

    ★★ Watched by Seqlitsch 16 Nov, 2015

    The titular character in Red Sonja is introduced as something of a medieval protofeminist, very adamant in her "I don't need a man" attitude (this will change over the course of the film—which is very briskly paced (meaning that it's short, not that it's enjoyable) and runs just shy of 90 minutes—because it's 1985 and you just can't have a female-led film without a male romantic interest).

    However, as we are told in the first few minutes, the evil Queen…


  • Adam Theeye Pittman

    Added by Adam Theeye Pittman

    My review -- this dark/action/fantasy/action revenge/adventure film title is now on DVD and it is no surprise to me that this film title has a 50% financial loss to its name of roughly $9 million [keeping in mind the budget was $18 million roughly.] The basic storyline is this [the audience reads some wording on screen,] then we get more background details and then we bear witness to this attempt to destroy this powerful crystal, but something goes tragically wrong…


  • Isaac von Schmitt

    ★★ Watched by Isaac von Schmitt 02 Sep, 2015

    Oh man, if they got rid of the kid, and just had Red Sonja and Arnold Schwarzenegger killing things, this would have been a lot better. The kid and his father were so freaking annoying.

    The locations were pretty neat and interesting, however, I don't think I'll be watching this again anytime soon.


  • Mike Scholtz

    ★★ Watched by Mike Scholtz 16 Aug, 2015

    Red Sonja wanders from one amazing location to another in search of acting lessons.

    She never finds them.


  • Emory Taylor

    ★★★½ Added by Emory Taylor

    The destructive power of unrequited love and unharnessed passion. The sets are off the hook. The dinosaur bridge? gilded skeletons galore? yes please.

    I prefer a pretty straightforward reading of this as actually quite feminist. It's not bad for the queen to be a lesbian, it's just really hard to forge a path through the patriarchy and impossible for her to find love undemocratically. Red Sonja isn't a great film, but it really revels in the scenes. I love schlock like this.


  • Robert Lewis

    ★★★★ Rewatched by Robert Lewis 13 Jul, 2015

    1980's Fantasy Weekend continues.


  • Steve G

    ★★★ Rewatched by Steve G 09 Jul, 2015 4

    Red Sonja begged the question of what kind of bedside manner Arnold Schwarzenegger would have if he worked in an A & E department.

    There are two incidents in this film that would lead me to think that I wouldn't want to be told that my sister was dead or dying by him. I don't have a sister, but bear with me.

    So, Brigitte Nielsen is messing around with that annoying kid and Arnie just sidles up on his horse and…


  • Adrian Zachow

    ★½ Rewatched by Adrian Zachow 08 Jul, 2015

    An evil queen with a talisman that can destroy the world. A heroine who survived being ravaged and is now out for justice and revenge. A muscular companion who is not Conan, but is very knowingly cast. An Asian child sidekick who is definitely not Short Round. Red Sonja is inspired by Robert E. Howard's pulp writings, but the film itself is pretty execrable. To be fair, the production can't be faulted on ambition; the large sets and elaborate costumes…


  • Not Dave Kehr

    Added by Not Dave Kehr

    In times of crisis, the Italian film industry always falls back on the sword-and-sandals epic—the Italian equivalent of the western. And because the Italian cinema was at the time suffering through the worst crisis in its history, it isn't surprising to find such names as Danilo Donati (Fellini's art director) and Giuseppe Rotunno (Fellini's cinematographer) attached to this 1985 Dino De Laurentiis production about a red-haired swordswoman (Swedish model Brigitte Nielsen) seeking vengeance on an evil queen (Sandahl Bergman). It's…


  • Zack Clopton

    ★★★ Added by Zack Clopton

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    In the 1970s, in the pages of their popular “Conan” comics, Marvel Comics introduced a character named Red Sonja. Though loosely inspired by a Robert E. Howard character named Red Sonya, this Sonja was different and shared a universe with Conan. (The character’s literary origins and legal ownership get kind of complicated after that.) Sonja, probably due to her curvaceous body and infamous chain-mail bikini, became popular enough to hold down her own series. This is probably why de Laurentiis…


  • Colin the dude

    ★½ Watched by Colin the dude 18 Jun, 2015 3

    Ennio Morricone gives even the smelliest of trash the illusion of grandeur. He tosses away film scores like the candy man. Silver lining: One of Arnold's best worst performances.


  • Ryan Meyers

    Added by Ryan Meyers

    A warrior woman seeks revenge on the woman who killed her family, had her men rape her, and stole a talisman capable of destroying the world. Holy shit, this is so bad. My trek through the Conan films have led me here. As I child, I believe I saw this on TV and thought it was pretty cool, but, upon rewatch, I'm thinking I should have avoided this and had that vague, blurry, yet fond, memory.

    Why they decided not…