• Zack Clopton

    ★★★ Added by Zack Clopton

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    In the 1970s, in the pages of their popular “Conan” comics, Marvel Comics introduced a character named Red Sonja. Though loosely inspired by a Robert E. Howard character named Red Sonya, this Sonja was different and shared a universe with Conan. (The character’s literary origins and legal ownership get kind of complicated after that.) Sonja, probably due to her curvaceous body and infamous chain-mail bikini, became popular enough to hold down her own series. This is probably why de Laurentiis…

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  • Colin the dude

    ★½ Watched by Colin the dude 18 Jun, 2015 3

    Ennio Morricone gives even the smelliest of trash the illusion of grandeur. He tosses away film scores like the candy man. Silver lining: One of Arnold's best worst performances.

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  • Ryan Meyers

    Added by Ryan Meyers

    A warrior woman seeks revenge on the woman who killed her family, had her men rape her, and stole a talisman capable of destroying the world. Holy shit, this is so bad. My trek through the Conan films have led me here. As I child, I believe I saw this on TV and thought it was pretty cool, but, upon rewatch, I'm thinking I should have avoided this and had that vague, blurry, yet fond, memory.

    Why they decided not…

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  • NinjaDomoEsq

    ★★ Watched by NinjaDomoEsq 10 Jun, 2015

    There's an element of this that seems sort of self-aware and the result is funny, the rest is terrible and funny for the wrong reasons. AHNOLD shows up randomly and without reason. It's like the studio couldn't commit to having a female action star. Sonja is fine at best. She's certainly got the bold part down, but acting in this film is weak. AHNOLD delivers some of the best lines though, almost as if either he or the folks writing…

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  • Ian Brumby

    Rewatched by Ian Brumby 08 Jun, 2015

    Brigitte Nielsen out-acted by her ginger mullet wig. Not that this is saying much.

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  • kenobizod

    Watched by kenobizod 27 May, 2015

    Another character credited to Conan the Barbarian creator Robert E. Howard, Red Sonya, warrior princess, portrayed by Stallone's ex, Brigitte Nielsen.

    My expectations were not high for this, I knew reviews were not very good, and Nielsen was not a very good actor...

    It was pretty horrible, acting, special effects, and Arnold was not even playing his Conan character...he'd pretty good in a supporting role, but does not seem to have much too do.

    Composer Ennio Morricone saves the film,…

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  • Nuno Costa

    ★½ Watched by Nuno Costa 27 May, 2015

    Viewed on Warnerfilms

    According to IMDB: Arnold Schwarzenegger himself eschews this movie as one of his worst, yet he (laughingly) claims that it's an excellent disciplinary tool for his children: "I tell them, if they get on my bad side, they'll be forced to watch Red Sonja (1985) ten times in a row. Consequently, none of my kids has ever given me much trouble."

    I'm thinking of taking parenting advise from Arnold.

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  • Parker

    ★★ Watched by Parker 24 May, 2015

    This movie would be a lot better if Arnold Schwarzennegger or Brigette Nielsen had either learned to act or learned to speak English. As it is, they're batting 0 for 4 in this.

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  • Matt Singer

    Rewatched by Matt Singer 22 May, 2015

    Movie Rule #92: A movie may contain graphic beheadings or cutesy kid sidekicks. It may not contain both.

    (Also: Brigitte Nielsen's stunt double is like 30 pounds heavier than she is. And possibly a dude.)

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  • hella

    ★★★ Added by hella

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    No man may have me, unless he's beaten me in a fair fight.

    heh

    yeahhhhhh

    :)

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  • Lorenzo Manildo

    Watched by Lorenzo Manildo 23 Mar, 2015

    The Epic Action Project

    The poster says it all: Brigitte Nielsen tries to take the lead, but Schwarzenegger pops up every time and steals the show from her.

    Also, this movie sucks!

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  • Chris

    Rewatched by Chris 21 Feb, 2015

    I didn't intend to wake up on Saturday morning and watch RED SONJA but it was just starting and in HD. I was just going to watch it until the first commercial break. And then the second. At that point I might as well just finish it. Tootsie Pop scenario.

    I had only previously seen RED SONJA on TBS, cropped in standard definition. Guess what? There is some impressive set design here. The cavern that floods and has the fish…

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