Resident Evil: Retribution
The Ultimate Battle Begins
The Umbrella Corporation’s deadly T-virus continues to ravage the Earth, transforming the global population into legions of the flesh eating Undead. The human race’s last and only hope, Alice, awakens in the heart of Umbrella’s most clandestine operations facility and unveils more of her mysterious past as she delves further into the complex. Without a safe haven, Alice continues to hunt those responsible for the outbreak; a chase that takes her from Tokyo to New York, Washington, D.C. and Moscow, culminating in a mind-blowing revelation that will force her to rethink everything that she once thought to be true. Aided by new found allies and familiar friends, Alice must fight to survive long enough to escape a hostile world on the brink of oblivion. The countdown has begun.
NOTHING IN THIS SERIES MAKES ANY SENSE!!!!!
BUT I CAN'T STOP STARING AT MILLA JOVOVICH!!
I'll keep this short and simple:
Part of The December Project: Film #22
I... I can't believe it. Paul W.S. Anderson has managed to do it. I can't tell if he came across it by directing without giving any fucks, or through assured and intentional incompetent direction (in which case it's competent), but he's finally managed to make the first true video game movie.
Resident Evil: Retribution is the first film in the five film franchise that has actually managed to replicate a video game in cinematic format. This is now part of my greatest argument for why video game movies can never work.
The film has a style that directly replicates the aesthetics and design of a video game. You have the opening credits played…
When you make an ambitious film and the past has proven that you do not have the ability to handle it, chaos ensues. This is the third time that Paul Wasted Sperm Anderson sits in the directorial chair and the second time he fails big time in an unforgivable way, but this was the worst.
Aiming at a thousand directions, it suddenly lost its course and forgot that the entire premise is an apocalyptic biological virus spread. So we have:
- An attempt of Paul to copy Zack Snyder's suburban opening zombie disaster, just to remember the old days *sigh...*
- Stupid melodrama. I love kids, even if they are normally annoying in films featuring adult themes, but I just…
Inexplicably popular, nonsensical and shoddily made - much like the film’s central protagonist the Resident Evil franchise refuses to die. They abandoned logic a long time ago but Retribution borders on becoming a Dadaist action movie at times. Previously dead characters are brought back to life (and not as zombies) whilst the film, fully embracing its video game origins, becomes little more than a pointless procession of themed levels that our heroes must try and negotiate.
Miraculously this latest instalment might well be the best in the series since the original movie. Not that this actually means a lot seeing as the others have been a complete and utter waste of celluloid and time but there is a daft exuberance…
Cartoon characters gallivant from one set-piece to another swapping their affective, generic narrative roles around like currency (like in Holy Motors, in this universe identity and "self" are just a costume change away). This is a movie where the effect, the nature, the details of its genre are built directly into the narrative; they work as part of the film. Anderson's Naruse film.
If you've made it this far in this tired franchise then kudos. But this is by far the lamest entry in the series, with an illogical script, bad acting and a plot that is basically just recycled from a video game (probably have way more fun playing the video game), it promises a sixth entry. Hopefully that will be the end of it.
Resident Evil: I'm done trying
An autobiography by Paul W.S. Anderson
Fun trash part 5.
Please let this be the last one.
Yes, it's a stupid movie. In fact, it's beyond stupid -- it's practically insulting. We know that going into it and so do the filmmakers, so that doesn't knock it down any. It's already down. Personally though, I like all of these films because of that, and the utter gravitas that every character brings to these video game-like proceedings one step, one bullet, one monster attack, one explosion at a time. And it never hurts that I could look at Milla Jovovich all day long, making this a bona fide cinematic high dive into a little bucket. One more, please!
They will never stop making these movies until you dumbasses stop watching them. Even, this one with Anderson writing as if on crack--Get some! Get some!! OK a line of dialogue here. And here. And now Get some! Get some! Get sommmmmmme!!--was not enough to turn you away. He's daring you not to watch this shit and like the brainless zombies you just keep coming back. Enough to inspire Brad Pitt of all people to make World War Z.
$240M box office on this one so I think we're set for another decade of the same thing. Unless. Someone spoofs it. This franchise is begging for a spoof--someone get the Wayans on the phone now! I'm thinking we lead off…
OK, From a storytelling and serious standpoint, this blows. From a technical standpoint, It's actually pretty good! The production values are pretty good, I thought the score was pretty good despite it sounding a hair similar to daft punk's score in Tron: Legacy, and The action scenes are filmed far better in this film than in most films today. Also, If you have a 3DTV, add this: the 3D is worth it! Also, relax and have some fun! (I guess I am too much of a liberal movie watcher [liberal as in laid back or lenient] but, I have my weird likes)