Today marks the 5 year anniversary of awesomeness in my life. This list represents every movie my old lady (she…
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Make the Improbable Possible
A fisheries expert is approached by a consultant to help realize a sheik's vision of bringing the sport of fly-fishing to the desert and embarks on an upstream journey of faith and fish to prove the impossible possible.
What happens if you nuke a DVD? I'll google it, I want to see this little piggy squeal and fry. Torture me and I'll torture you.
Soundtrack: very telletubby-esque. I don't know what that means exactly, but that's the best I can do to describe: bouncy+giggly+creepy with a side of cucumber sandwiches.
How many ways can you describe a film like Salmon Fishing in the Yemen? How about arid (in more ways than one), characterless, cloying, colourless, drab, drudging, dull, flat, ho hum, humdrum, insipid, interminable, irksome, lifeless, monotonous, mundane, nothing, platitudinous, prosaic, repetitious, routine, spiritless, stale, stodgy, stuffy, stupid, tame, tedious, tiresome, tiring, trite, unexciting, uninteresting, vapid, wank and wearisome?
It is depressing to see that director, Lasse Hallström, continues to produce uninspired and pedestrian romantic fluff based on best selling novels. I hear the book this is based upon is actually quite a funny, acerbic and satirical story so why is this film anything but? There are vague traces of this bite in the form of Kristin Scott Thomas’ press…
Η φάση έχει ως εξής: χτυπάει το τηλέφωνο του κύριου Hallström.
- Ναι, γεία σας, από BBC τηλεφωνούμε, σύμφωνα με το συμβόλαιο σας πρέπει να παραδώσετε την ταινία σας σε 2 εβδομάδες. Ελπίζουμε να έχετε τελειώσει.
- Το κέρατο μου μέσα. Και έλεγα κάτι ξέχασα, κάτι ξέχασα.
- Φροντίστε να την έχετε έτοιμη.
- Οκ, το'χω.
Καπάκι τηλέφωνο έναν κυριούλη που ονομάζεται Simon Beaufoy.
- Μαλάκα δώσε μου τ ώ ρ α ένα σενάριο.
- Ρε συ δεν έχω τίποτα έτοιμο.
- Ντάξει μωρέ, κάτσε μετά το φαγητό, γράψε μου καναδυο μαλακιούλες και το ολοκληρώνουμε κατά το γύρισμα.
- Πότε πρέπει να παραδώσουμε;
- Σε 2 εβδομάδες.
- Τι θα προλάβουμε ρε μαλάκα να κάνουμε σε 2 εβδομάδες;
- Μια χαρά προλαβαίνουμε. 10 μέρες γύρισμα, 2 μέρες μονταζ, μία μέρα να μπαλώσουμε καμιά τρύπα και έχουμε και 1 μέρα να χαλαρώσουμε.
- Ε τότε μια χαρά.
- Τι μαγείρεψες;
- Νομίζω πήγε η γυναίκα μου λαική και πήρε κάτι σολωμούς.
Want to stab everybody.
Looking for a good movie for a calm Sunday afternoon? You're welcome!
As one of the most pleasant and non-threatening movies I've seen in a long time, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen should not and will not be remembered for being a great film, because it is not. But it is damn charming.
This is due mainly to characters that some great actors are playing very charismatically. And by this I mean Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt, and Kristin Scott Thomas. Their collective efforts really contribute to the watchability of this otherwise rote, predictable, and pretty lifeless story.
Yes, you can probably guess the entire plot by looking at the poster. Yes, the film has possibly the worst title of any movie I can think of. Yes, I feel weird that I actually kind of enjoyed this one. So it goes. What can I say? I like being charmed.
Empecé a verla por Ewan McGregor, y me quedé por Kristin Scott Thomas, que aunque breve, está estupenda y su personaje resulta lo mejor de la película.
El argumento, a pesar de pecar de absurdo, me pareció de lo más interesante, y propicia un escenario divertido y diferente para lo que acaba como una comedia romántica cliché.
This bizarrely scattershot movie can never quite decide what it wants to be: romantic comedy or relationship drama? Political thriller or political satire? In trying to cover every base, it actually ends up doing nothing at all. The considerable charm of the three leads makes it a pleasant enough experience to sit through, but the ham-fisted plotting, leaden pacing and unnecessary story detours mean it will never be more than that.
A partner? Yes Miss Chetwode-Talbot!
A Waste of Money All the Way Around
I probably missed it, but did they ever solve the fly problem? Because that's only the beginning of the ecosystem challenges to importing salmon somewhere. In fact, there are so many of them that I can't imagine anyone would seriously consider doing such a thing in this day and age. And if they did, there's an enormous list of examples we can provide of exactly how the whole thing goes wrong. I mean, look at the introduction of Nile perch to Lake Victoria; that did not exactly go well, inasmuch as untold numbers of native fish species were driven to extinction. I acknowledge that the wadis of the Yemen do not really…
Around half through the movie I began to ponder if I was watching a parody. A benevolent Sheikh whose words could come straight out of a pulp novel? Brining salmon (why salmon?) to Yemen as the greatest achievement? Yemen, a poor country and hotbed of terrorism? Waiting for said salmon to swim upstream as ultimate goal? Weird chemistry between the two leads? I could go on and on and on...
Never again will I attempt to watch a film by Lasse Hallstrom. I haven't seen many but the few I have, weren't very impressive in any way. This one is so bad it's almost unbelievable. The first thing that sickened me was the constant "music" underlining the whole thing. Then, everything else from the acting to the dialogue, from the story to the cinematography. Boring, uninspired and vacuous in every sense.
After a promising first half that left me wanting more, the story turns into convoluted soap opera with brutally forced plot points to manufacture conflict. A light romantic comedy with... terrorists, MIA black ops soldiers, and scientists that forget the basics of, well, science?
Never before have I seen a movie that wants you to *hope* that terrible things (like death!) will happen to two characters so that our two leads can hook up.
I'm astonished at the good reviews I read for this on RottenTomatoes.com
(Seen on NETFLIX Canada.)
Well, it's okay. I wasn't bored, but not totally excited either.
- The Zero Theorem
- The Lego Movie
- Guardians of the Galaxy
- Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
- X-Men: Days of Future Past
- Act of Valor
- Anna Karenina
...live, from Sheffield, England!
The ceremony is tonight (January 13th) and it's bound to be as long-winded and boring as…
- The Secret World of Arrietty
- Take Shelter
- Elite Squad: The Enemy Within
- Project Nim
This list will be of no real interest to anybody else but it helps me keep an easier track of…