Sharktopus
2010 Directed by Declan O'Brien
Synopsis
Mankind was not meant to mess with the ways of nature
The U.S. Navy's special group "Blue Water" builds a half-shark, half-octopus for combat. But the sharktopus escapes and terrorizes the beaches of Puerto Vallarta.
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Shitopus!
Just abysmal! I've spent more time writing this review than they did on the script.
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"stop staring at my rack"
"they're just boobs. They're not gonna get up and do a dance"
"why can't we just 86 that freak?!?"
"I need a tall large wide glass of scotch"
"half shark half octopus. A sharktopus if you will"All of this sharp brilliant dialogue uttered with conviction, vanishing British accents, and at times pure gibberish. I will have nightmares for the rest of my life if I ever stop laughing, for I truly laughed my ass off.
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This movie had it all: boobies that were said to be dancing, half shark half octopus attacks, a tatooed man who couldn't talk and a woman with a Brittsh accent half of the time! Need I say more?
"Why can't we just 86 that thing?!" -
Hahahahaha[...]hahahahahahahaha... can't stop laughing at that movie, it's so bad. A must see for everybody fond of terrible movies.
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You can quibble over the rating if you like, but it's going to stand. Absolute genius, way better than other giant monster movies. Corman, we salute you!
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Stupid scientists working from a lab in a Florida tanning salon, have created the Navy’s next super weapon, a genetic hybrid of shark and octopus (sorry hope that isn’t too much of a spoiler). During testing the creature dings the metal box that allows the scientists to control it and runs amok feasting on anything it can find wearing a bikini. The stupid scientists, led by Dr. Sands (Eric Roberts, sporting the smug air of a man who knows his five star hotel is a limo ride away), need to capture the beastie because the Navy man on video-conference is very annoyed by all this. Luckily the monster has gone south of the border, so he’s not so fussed about…
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"stop staring at my rack"
"they're just boobs. They're not gonna get up and do a dance"
"why can't we just 86 that freak?!?"
"I need a tall large wide glass of scotch"
"half shark half octopus. A sharktopus if you will"All of this sharp brilliant dialogue uttered with conviction, vanishing British accents, and at times pure gibberish. I will have nightmares for the rest of my life if I ever stop laughing, for I truly laughed my ass off.
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This movie had it all: boobies that were said to be dancing, half shark half octopus attacks, a tatooed man who couldn't talk and a woman with a Brittsh accent half of the time! Need I say more?
"Why can't we just 86 that thing?!" -
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
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Movies that are designed to be awful are usually more awful than movies that are unintentionally bad. And not in a fun way.
This is the case here.
It isn't funny.
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Well, you think you know what you will get with that kind of a title. But it's worse. It makes you cringe. And how the heck did they get Eric Roberts to star in this thing?
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Når Jaws fikk bikinikledde berter så vel som staute karer til å unngå stranda for noen tiår siden ble det også satt en ny standard for ektefølt skrekk på lerretet men kanskje litt skremmende er det faktum at få av de senere forsøkene faktisk lyktes. Selv storfilmer som Deep Blue Sea og Anaconda endte opp som økonomiske katastrofer som få av oss gadd å brukte tiden våres på. Men ideen om farlige dyr har alltid vært sterk i filmbransjen og når de seriøse forsøkene feiler er det bare en ting å gjøre; gi faen i all seriøsitet mens man fanger galskapen på film.
B-filmens verden har gitt oss mye rart og om man først har vært så uheldig å utsette…
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This is a SyFy original starring Eric Roberts, I cannot believe that they actually paid money to make this, I watched it hoping it to be so bad it is good but it is not, this is a half star avoid at all costs, I cannot even be bothered to tell you why it is bad.
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Beyond terrible, don't even waste your time.
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Watching this movie is like being forced to go golfing with your friends.