Doesn't the title of the list explain it well enough? This is a list of hight quality "short" films. Easy…
Shoot 'Em Up
Just another family man making a living.
A man named Mr. Smith delivers a woman's baby during a shootout, and is then called upon to protect the newborn from the army of gunmen.
Sublime videogame surrealism laced with tongue in cheek taking-the-pissness covered in nubile Belluccicana and finished with equal measures of gun porn and carrots.
And Paul fucking Giamatti.
"Fuck you, you fucking fuckers".
Sometimes you have to just sit back and admire a film that continually pushes the boundaries both on an action front and on a blackly comedic level. Michael Davis's film deftly does both as from the moment Clive Owen cracks his first one-liner and then swiftly dispatches a henchman with a carrot, you know this isn't going to be your average action film.
Shoot 'Em Up never lets up for a second. From the opening sequence that introduces Owen's good Samaritan attempting to rescue a pregnant woman from a gunman to a fitting end which sees yet more carrots involved, this chase movie doesn't do things by half. It has more action than a Jason…
That first appearance of a Star Destroyer in Star Wars.
That shower scene in Psycho.
That airport conversation in Casablanca.
That bit where that fella from Coupling shoves a fucking carrot in a mans eye!
The wonder of film.
If you want to turn your brain off and be completely entertained for 86 minutes, Shoot 'Em Up is probably one of the best possible things to do it with. So ridiculous, so over-the-top, so fucked-up... yet so much fun. Don't even bother if you're not into action flicks of this nature.
I rather enjoy it for what it is. Plus, any movie that has a Nirvana song play within it's first two minutes is off to a good start in my book. Especially if it's something fast-paced like "Breed" during a shootout ... perfect.
A Carrot munching badass, who leads to killing a bunch of guys in a ridiculous shootout to Nirvana's Breed. So in that moment I knew I was going to enjoy this.
Delightfully trashy, wonderfully campy and brilliantly over the top violence. This is great at spitting out eye-rolling one liners, cheesy dialogue and questionable performances. But that gives me ever much more enjoyment.
"I'm a British nanny and I'm dangerous."
Sure the plot's a little messy and the characters are clichés, but I really don't care. A lot of action heroes, including Daniel Craig, could learn a thing or two from Clive Owen. Death by carrot was certainly a novel idea. The stairway shootout was a thing of beauty that went beyond the Bourne movies. Even the sex/gun fight that was in Drive Angry originated here.
As great as Clive Owen is he wouldn't be as memorable without Paul Giamatti who made me laugh at every turn. "Guns don't kill people, but they sure help." Owen and Giamatti look like they're having fun during this movie and it really shows. Hopefully I can find the dvd cheap because I intend to watch this over and over again.
"America is a land of opportunity, where a poor man can become rich, and a pussy can become a tough guy, if he's got a gun in his hand."
Shoot 'Em Up is a film that is plainly not flawless in many technical areas - the action could be shot more smoothly; the script recycles jokes and lines like it forgot it already used them; etcetera and so on.
But as an experience to behold, whose rough edges kind of add to its scrappy charm?
It's a FUCKING ROLLICKING RIP-ROARING RIDE, AND THEN SOME!!
It's Children Of Men in a parallel universe directed by John Woo and Hanna-Barbera.
It's one of the best video game movies to not actually…
"Eat your vegetables."
I've never seen anything like this, any movie go this far. It's seriously almost all gun fights, all over the top: action, one-liners, sex. Clive Owen is cool and any movie movie that features him killing a guy with a carrot or boning during a gun fight is all right by me. It doesn't pull any punches and has a clear aim of what it's trying to do, and it doesn't stray from that.
I love garbage
I was a bit nervous when Nirvana kicked in that my memory of this was too positive. But as the body counts stack up and the cynical misogynistic mayhem ensues - you just can't help but bask in its inappropriate zaniness.
I really want carrots
in this film clive owen leaves a baby on the floor of a public bathroom while he uses the baby change table to clean his gun
then he burns the hands of an assassin with an impossibly hot hand dryer
this was the least ridiculous sequence in the movie
clive owen always has at least one carrot in the pocket of his leather trench coat. it's like a Beckett play.
also paul giamatti plays an assassin with one liners like 'guns don't kill people, but they sure help'
last but not least there's a parachute gunfight to an AC/DC song
this seems to be all that's necessary to sum it up
violence is still cool
As an over-the-top, balls-to-the-wall, all out action romp, this film is hard to beat. With action galore, more one-liners than a Comedy Central Roast, a maniacal Paul Giamatti, and Monica Bellucci as the sexiest hooker ever to pull on a pair of stockings, you almost forget that Clive Owen dispatches more heavies that Weightwatchers. Crazy storylines don't come much more silly than this, but it makes for one hell of an enjoyable ride, and I've always said that carrots were dangerous.
Cheap, cheerful and suitably over the top.
I guess asking for more for Monica Bellucci to do is a bit much.
I don't like focusing on negative energy too much, but there are some movies I actively hate. These are the…
Complete list. :-(