This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

Holy crap I can't get over how much I actually hate Marg Helgenberger, and how bad of an actress she really is.
but in all honesty, it seemed like pretty much everyone that I normally like, or don't mind, did some serious overacting and just generally... sucked. How is that even possible?
What started out interesting quickly became very painful, and having watched this after Splice, it occurred to me that it's a slightly more G rated version of the same plot idea.
The biggest difference however, is that I actually happen to like Splice.

As soon as I started watching this I realised I hadn't actually seen the whole film before. We were about a third of the way through before I started to see parts I recognised. I am not referring to the breasts of Natasha Henstridge.*
That's irrelevant. What we have here is a fairly good idea that lacks the proper execution.
Everything they did seemed to exaggerate the Mid-90's bad CGI. When they used practical effects it was a lot better, barring the weird lens effects on an underwater alien sex dream. That was just fucking strange.

*I kind of was.

I was almost on board with this. There's about enough b-movie effects, gore and boobs to give it a pass. It just needed at least one memorable action movie side character. Hoffman in Twister, Jon Voight in Anaconda, Alec Baldwin in The Edge. These characters stunk and never had any good one liners!

B-Grade fun, with a lot of charm and enjoyable performances, especially from Michael Madsen as the charismatic government hired assassin and the always reliable Alfred Molina as the underused scientist. Plus, you know, Natasha Henstridge was BRILLIANT casting.

Experiment combining human and alien DNA leads scientists to create sexy Natasha Henstridge. She is genetically superior and all she wants to do is get laid and make babies.

Normally I wouldn't see this as a problem but lead scientist Istak Stern (Ben Kinsley) wants her terminated before she pops her cherry and takes over the world one shag at a time.

He calls upon Mr Pink (Michael Madsen), Catherine Willows from CSI (Marg Helgenberger), Dr Octopus (Alfred Molina with bad hair and worse teeth) and Jody, the gay soldier from the Crying Game (Forrest Whittaker) to stop the madness.

Crapness ensues.

Why did I watch this again?

This was the dumbest fuckin' thing. Somehow, they managed to make Ben Kingsley completely boring.

Soft core porn meets B-movie science fiction. It is a bit of a mess in terms of direction and narrative, but it has a "so crap its fun" charm to it. The talented cast and solid creature effects are totally wasted.

ni tres buenos actores desperdiciados, ni la peor trama de la historia, ni el explicable salto de un hotel a una cueva, ni nada de nada opacará vuestra belleza, michelle williams de chavita / natasha henstridge de joven. mi corazón es de ustedes.

An Oscar-nominated cast, aliens, and boobs aren't enough to elevate a boring story, cheesy dialogue, and 90s effects. I found it to be dull at best and annoying at worst (I'm looking at you Forest Whitaker).

The creature design by H.R. Giger is kind of neat, even though it looks like a female Xenomorph sketch that he pulled out of the bin. Speaking of which, the ending feels like it was ripped straight out of 'Alien' and not really in an homage sort of way.

Still, the nipple tentacles make up for a lot.

So so bad. What the hell happened to it? Original designs by Giger, great actors (Ben Kingsley!?,) Should have been decent at least.

There are more to like here beside Natasha.H's boobs, but there is also potential for a much better film from the premise;
this loses itself into an underwhelming sci-fi horror'ish film that gets quite crappy towards the end.

*Preview*:
re-3*, popcorn, oldies(3) }**{ #90s(m)#, story.

It was a fun movie, the actor who did the alien was amazing, she totally pulled it off. The rest was a meh at best.

It's stupid and loud, but the cast seems to be having fun and the monster make-up is interesting enough.