Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
A Jedi Shall Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love.
(22 Years Before Episode IV) Ten years after the events of the Battle of Naboo, the galaxy has undergone significant changes. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi are assigned to protect Padmé from political separatists. As relationships form and powerful forces collide, these heroes face choices that will impact the destiny of the Republic.
That little green fella from the Vodafone ads must be desperate for money to appear in this shit.
'Suck very much, it does, yes?'
-Bubba, Yoda's cooler, older brother
1. a whole lot of this looks awful, all that native 1080p compositing is just soft and shallow, like a Syfy channel movie, or occasionally yikes even a "Wing Commander" cutscene.
2. i still think the big battle stuff at the end is for the most part pretty appropriately pulpy fun, but it's a long trip to make. the asteroid field sequence is pretty neat too. in fact parts without any actual physical elements at all seem to work best.
3. i'm assuming the separatists' beef with the republic is about all that exciting trade route taxation? are the STAR WARS prequels accidentally prescient memoranda of the Tea Party? THINK ABOUT IT.
4. i took a first date to this,…
Your clones are very impressive. You must be very proud.
I'm sure I kinda liked this movie the first time I saw it. At least that's my recollection. It's biggest problem is without a doubt the so-called love story between Anakin and Padmé. Their scenes together are cringe inducing. These two people don't even look like they enjoy being in the same room together. The fact that Hayden Christensen comes off as incredibly creepy during these scenes just makes it all the more unbelievable when they finally do "fall in love".
The film is also filled with scenes and imagery that have a sole purpose of making you think of the original trilogy. Some of them have no logic…
Highly educational: for years I thought that sand was smooth and fluffy. Now I know better. It's coarse, it's irritating and it gets everywhere.
I'm watching the Star Wars saga in the Machete order.
The first hour of Attack of the Clones is a real struggle, it is probably the worst section in the Star Wars saga and feels like torture to sit through. Christensen is horribly miss-cast and early he reaches a level of annoying rarely seen in cinema.
The last hour though picks up and it does become quite exciting towards the end. It starts at about the time Anakin and Padmé go searching for Obi-Wan. From there it is non-stop and there are many edge-of-your-seat moments. The aged effects are the only downside to what was a really entertaining finale.
I was surprised just how bad Episode I was on a further viewing after so many years. Likewise, I was surprised Episode II was actually a bit watchable. (Or maybe this is in comparison to The Phantom Menace.) Though let me be absolutely clear: it's still a bad movie.
It goes without saying but I'll say it anyway, the movie is horribly acted, the writing/dialogue is atrocious, and the special effects, although pretty damn cool at times, leaves other scenes hollow and cold when it's clear that the actors aren't even walking inside of buildings. In the first movie we have to deal with an annoying kid who manages to rise all the way to the middle by good luck…
Three times in the same day. That was a lot of fun.
was i drunk
mñeh... Me pareció muuuy chafita la relación entre Obi Wan Kenobi y Anakin Skywalker, Natalie Portman es demasiado bonita, nada más.
The green screen work in the film is pretty distracting. I don't really have as much of a problem with the story or the acting like everyone else does. Still a fun film.
I'll still defend the action scenes in this, for the most part they're pretty neat, if not tensionless. The scenes with actual actors are horrifically cringe-inducing, though, and that's where the movie falls apart. That and the horrible greenscreening. Loved it as a kid, and it's still sit-throughable for me, but I think we all agree that it's complete shit.
And it's way too shiny for a Star Wars movie.
Everyone bitches about The Phantom Menace, but this is the bad one. Besides the arena battle, this is just a plodding, dull mess. Also, Hayden Christensen is far worse than Jake Lloyd. Far worse.