Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
A Jedi Shall Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love.
Ten years after the invasion of Naboo, the galaxy is on the brink of civil war. Under the leadership of a renegade Jedi named Count Dooku, thousands of solar systems threaten to break away from the Galactic Republic. When an assassination attempt is made on Senator Padmé Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, twenty-year-old Jedi apprentice Anakin Skywalker is assigned to protect her. In the course of his mission, Anakin discovers his love for Padmé as well as his own darker side. Soon, Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan Kenobi are drawn into the heart of the Separatist movement and the beginning of the Clone Wars.
obi-wan: the planet is supposed to be right here but it's not, can you get the children to help me find it
yoda: dude it's right there
obi-wan: oh yeah
Caught this on TV in France when I was on vacation a couple years ago, and even though I could hardly understand a word of the dubbed version, I was enraptured by its images and its miraculous sense of sound design (those Seismic Charges tho). Watching it with the dialogue intact is frustrating, especially because Lucas' vision is so grand and ambitious. It's like watching a child trying to put a puzzle together. You want to help them along the way, but it is essential that the child works through it on their own. The uneasiness comes from the idea that they'll never solve the puzzle.
That little green fella from the Vodafone ads must be desperate for money to appear in this shit.
Don't let Jar-Jar Lloyd fever cloud your mind; this is the worst Star Wars in a walk. It's every bit the simpleton kids tale as the first, but now it's dressed up in guise of a movie meant for grown-ups (or whatever passes for grown-up among die-hards). This leads to love scenes that sound like they were written by an 11-year-old and an emphasis on action that makes up for the relative dearth of it in the last film by just throwing as much shit as possible into the frame, nearly all of it animated so that the few genuine, living people in a shot are really just waving sticks about.
Speaking of the animation, the combination of flat animation…
The fifth instalment in the Star Wars saga and the second chapter in George Lucas' prequel trilogy, Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones has all the ingredients that made The Phantom Menace such a repugnant piece of shit and although it offers no improvement over its pathetic dialogues, wooden characters, lacklustre performances & lame attempts at humour, it does manage to be minutely less unbearable than its predecessor.
Set 10 years after the events of The Phantom Menace in a galaxy far, far away, Attack of the Clones finds the galaxy on the brink of a civil war and follows Anakin Skywalker who's now put in charge of taking care of the Senator he happens to have a…
No luck swaying the kids to my side with this one. The 9-year-old during the picnic scene: "Which one of these two would you pick to be stuck with in a room?"
Episode I is not a great film, but it least has enough satisfying visuals that it's watchable. Episode II fully abandons film, instead being one of the first features ever to shoot on digital 24fps. And boy, somehow, even though it's only three years after the first prequel, the shots actually look worse. Everything looks so dull.
The acting (which wasn't anything special in Episode I) is actually much worse here. Ewan McGregor is one of my favorite people ever (Those Long Way Round/Down series have convinced me he's just an all around great guy), yet he's at his worst in the saga here. Hayden is just delivering line after line without any sense of emotion, at least any type…
Secretly the worst Star Wars movie. Almost no redeeming factors whatsoever. Just a compilation of people looking out windows and Natalie Portman's midriff.
I've no idea how to rate this. Both the best and worst of the trilogy.
Everything before the arena is boring, dull, hollow and unbelievable. Arguably, Jar Jar has better dialogue in Episode I than everyone here.
Everything from the arena onwards is absolutely fantastic. It's exciting, masterfully choreographed and directed, and it's an absolute joy to watch. Too bad of what you have to endure to get to it, though.
May the 4th Marathon a couple days earlier...
Probably the movie I watched most when I was younger...and way harder to watch now. It's just so back and forth. Cool scene...AWFUL scene. Back n forth. Never ending...never ending...
Not a better love story than Twilight.
"You said to yourself, hey maybe this one will be good, and everyone will just look back at the Phantom Menace as that one weird one. And then you watched the movie and realized just how fucking wrong you were. And its at that point you realized never to trust your own judgement ever again."
- Mr. Plinkett
The story persists, and the Phantom Edit still leaves me wondering just how bad it was *without the changes*. Half-hearted trudging through "character development" and you can begin to see the marks of a whip on the back of your childhood wonder.
In honor of my last year as a teenager, I decided to make this list of all the coming-of-age/high school/teen…