Starcrash
1979 Directed by Luigi Cozzi
Synopsis
A galactic adventure beyond your wildest dreams!
A pair of smugglers manage to pick up a castaway while running from the authorities, who turns out to be the only survivor from a secret mission to destroy a mysterious superweapon designed by the evil Count Zartham. The smugglers are soon recruited by the Emperor to complete the mission, as well as to rescue the Emperor's son, who has gone missing.
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A cheap Star Wars knock-off with a dash of Barbarella, Starcrash is by most measures a complete piece of shit. The special effects are awful, the acting is grating, and the dialog is perplexing at best. But the filmmakers did some things to make the whole train wreck entirely enjoyable.
1) The whole thing moves super fast. Whatever the plot was, it required the heroine to visit a handful of planets, which meant there was a new setting every few minutes and little time to get bored.
2) There was a ton of special effects. Yeah, they were mostly terrible (which I found to be pretty charming), but the shear amount of effects work that went into this turd is…
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An insanely paced space adventure full of color, ingenuity and imagination. Special effects range from spectacular to substantially-less-than-spectacular but all are a success due to being tangible products of real hands and camera tricks. So much fun.
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HOLY SHIT !!! What a terrible movie !! I mean sooooo bad that it actually is kind of joyous to watch. I honestly don't know that I have ever seen acting (or dubbing/ADR) quite this hideous before. Marjoe Gortner was a sideshow event of the 70s and made some very strange career choices but here he was playing lightsaber with the ass end of stop action animation. Best of all we have HASSELHOFF !! Yep.. running around with way too much eye makeup on and a 70s white-man fro. On the good side we did have the gorgeous and hot Caroline Munro to look at, with her trashy 70s porn look. She is truly the highlight of the camera's eyes,…
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Absolutely terrible film that doesn't even have one credible performance in it (even actors who CAN act turn in performances seemingly.......inspired by.........Shatner!) Still, there's a certain cheesy charm to it & I imagine it's awesome if you're totally wasted.
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While "Star Wars" had a gay robot, "StarCrash" one ups it by featuring a southern robot chauvinist. The Hoff makes an appearance, and Gazzo from "Rocky" wears a cape. Christopher Plummer is a shining island of insta-gravitas in a sea of stupid.
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A super cheesy Star Wars clone that fails on all levels. Yet it manages to entertain as much as Star Wars does!
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A film that has survived on campy reputation rather than any merit. This lazy Star Wars ripoff has the novelty of an early appearence by the Hoff and the pleasure of seeing Caroline Munro in her revealing ( and totally impractical outfits).
If you like campy sci-fi watch Ice Pirates instead.
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A super cheesy Star Wars clone that fails on all levels. Yet it manages to entertain as much as Star Wars does!
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An insanely paced space adventure full of color, ingenuity and imagination. Special effects range from spectacular to substantially-less-than-spectacular but all are a success due to being tangible products of real hands and camera tricks. So much fun.
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Starcrash has it all, a robot with a southern accent, main actress wearing nothing but a bikini the first half of the film, bad special effects, bad acting, terrible dialog and an outer space that looks like it was painted by grade 3 students. It's fun if you just turn your brain off and enjoy it for what it is, Roger Corman produced this gem. How they got Christopher Plummer to be in this film is beyond me.
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A cheap Star Wars knock-off with a dash of Barbarella, Starcrash is by most measures a complete piece of shit. The special effects are awful, the acting is grating, and the dialog is perplexing at best. But the filmmakers did some things to make the whole train wreck entirely enjoyable.
1) The whole thing moves super fast. Whatever the plot was, it required the heroine to visit a handful of planets, which meant there was a new setting every few minutes and little time to get bored.
2) There was a ton of special effects. Yeah, they were mostly terrible (which I found to be pretty charming), but the shear amount of effects work that went into this turd is…
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I saw this movie at the drive-in when it first came out (when it was titled "The Adventures of Stella Starr"), and shockingly, I enjoyed it more than I did then.
If the idea of low-budget '70s sci-fi intrigues you, you owe it to yourself to check out Starcrash on Netflix Instant. Or, at least, to check out the first 30 minutes. It throws everything at you: space battles, stop-motion aliens and robots, a Barbarella clone, a giant spaceship shaped like a fist, even Christohper Plummer and David Hasselhoff. And despite being an obviously "bad" movie, I found it surprisingly watchable. Worth it for the spectacle.
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It's like Star Wars, but so much worse. Yet it's fun.
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Fast schon unglaublicher Startrash, schön bunt, ausufernd schlecht, dennoch detailverliebt gemacht, aber auf die Dauer etwas ermüdend.
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Top 5 Signs that you might be working on the set of Starcraft:
5. David Hasselhoff is still a little raw as an actor, not yet commanding the mastery of his craft that he would exhibit in such classics as Baywatch and Knight Rider.
4. Your costar's characters keep exhibiting strange and previously unrevealed new powers at random intervals.
3. You're pretty sure that, while Christopher Plummer is your film's biggest star, on the one day he showed up to shoot, he was completely wasted.
2. You keep thinking you wandered onto the Dr. Who set, until you realize that even that show had better special effects.
And the number 1 sign that you might be working on the set of Starcraft......
1. Your robot sidekick is a hillbilly.