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A pair of smugglers manage to pick up a castaway while running from the authorities, who turns out to be the only survivor from a secret mission to destroy a mysterious superweapon designed by the evil Count Zartharn. The smugglers are soon recruited by the Emperor to complete the mission, as well as to rescue the Emperor's son, who has gone missing.
If movie screens could dream, Starcrash is what the dream would look and sound like. No attempt to hide artifice, instead a headfirst dive into pulp serial lala land. A genre kaleidoscope, a sci-fi lava lamp, gorgeous people giving fractured performances, weird looking people giving weird performances, and various other analog magicks. Only an Italian could lack the self-consciousness to make something so silly and pure. In space, no one can hear you dream.
But also, in its own way, five stars.
"So you see into the future. All these years you never told me. Think of all the trouble I might have avoided." she tried to exclaim, apparently struggling to communicate her astonishment from behind her dull, expressionless face.
"You would have tried to change the future, which is against the law, so therefore I can tell you nothing," he said, immediately after using his sight into the future to change the future, breaking the law and telling us nothing.
Starcrash is just ridiculous. That's the only thing it is.
It’s impossible to evaluate as a movie by any traditional criteria: the dialogue is laughable, the performances are flat, the plot is contrived in every imaginable way, there's no narrative throughline,…
A cheap Star Wars knock-off with a dash of Barbarella, Starcrash is by most measures a complete piece of shit. The special effects are awful, the acting is grating, and the dialog is perplexing at best. But the filmmakers did some things to make the whole train wreck entirely enjoyable.
1) The whole thing moves super fast. Whatever the plot was, it required the heroine to visit a handful of planets, which meant there was a new setting every few minutes and little time to get bored.
2) There was a ton of special effects. Yeah, they were mostly terrible (which I found to be pretty charming), but the shear amount of effects work that went into this turd is…
After watching Maniac I had no idea where to go. How do you follow Maniac? It was so weird/gnarly/awesome/crazy for me to even think of what I might be in the mood for next.
Then while I was watching some of the bonus interviews on the Blu ray I realized that Caroline Munro and Joe Spinell actually met a year or two before when they made Starcrash...so that was the push I needed to finally watch Starcrash.
It went above and beyond all of my expectations and now sits comfortably in my mental list of favorite science fiction flicks.
It's not subtle with it's Star Wars "influences" although the plot isn't very Star Wars-ish. It opens up with a underneath…
From the director of Lou Ferrigno Hercules comes Star Wars only cheap and Italian. Fake Luke Skywalker is a cosmic douche nozzle. The lead is a scantily clad heroine blasting her way through space in a leather bikini. This movie struggles more than Hasselhoff trying to eat a hamburger.There's also a southern robot. Christopher Plummer's closet skeleton.
There are some genres of cinema that have been lost to technological developments and rise of global interconnectivity. One of these genres is the "Italian knockoff of an successful American film." One of the more impressive parts of this cinematic sub-genre is the science fiction film Starcrash, directed by Luigi Cozzi under an American pseudonym to conceal the film's true nature.
The film follows a duo of smugglers, who stumble into a conflict between the Emperor of the Galaxy and an evil overlord who plans to kill the Emperor and take the galaxy over for himself.
Narratively, the film is incredibly weak. The film depends a lot, most likely for budgetary reasons, on telling instead of showing. Cozzi tries to…
This terrible movie makes me absurdly happy.
I want to fuck starcrash
Where have you been all my life? I love you and I want to have your babies.
Your amazingness is so amazing that I want to tell you just some of the things that make you so amazing:
Your dialogue.... every word of it.
Joe Spinell is an evil Count.... with a cloak.
Caroline Munro's prison issue bikini.
John Barry thinking he's scoring another James Bond movie.
Even English speaking actors are redubbed.
Stuff just happens.
Not even Christopher Plummer can make sense of his lines.
Unknown planets have names.
Your robot sounds like a good 'ol boy from The Dukes of Hazzard.
Your shuttles look like a capsule from the London Eye and have no visible means…
Somewhere between completely awesome and completely awful lies Starcrash. 35mm
Part of Visiting & Revisiting with Rik and Aaron, a continuing series of discussions between fellow Cinephiles Rik and Aaron.
Starcrash gets a lot of surprising mileage out of just how colorful and charmingly fantasy-like its vision of outer space is. The stars at night may or may not be big and bright deep in the heart of Texas, but they are bigger and brighter here. Every planet, moon, and star is represented in the sharpest of hues, and whatever demerits can be attributed to the film on nearly every other level, one cannot deny that much of the film is very pleasing to the eye.
On a second viewing, Starcrash performed much…
There's some movies that are so pure and honest in their creation. They are amateurishly made, but done with such love you can overlook all the bad to see something truly special and unique. Such is "Starcrash". Lovingly made as a tribute to space epics and adventure films, "Starcrash" ended up being one of the most original screenplays ever written and introduced the world to the modern feminist heroine archetype. Absolutely flawless for what it is and aspires to be.
BTW, this review is having seen the uncut European version. I just tried watching the blu-ray Shout! Factory put out and it is nigh-unwatchable after having seen the real version.
A decent cast cannot save this film. I guess if I am in the so bad it's good mode it would be ok.
Letterboxd's most controversial films, ranked by the variance in their ratings.
B-movies. Exploitation. Outsider art ("art"). Live-action adaptations. Romantic comedies.…
Movies that are slightly off.