I started with a top 10 list and decided what the hell lets see how far I can go. Top…
A cop who enforces his own brand of justice.
Joe Huff (Brian Bosworth) is a tough, loner cop with a flair for infiltrating dangerous biker gangs. The FBI blackmail Joe into an undercover operation that entails infiltrating "The Brotherhood" - a powerful Mississippi biker gang linked in the murder of government officials as well as dealing drugs with the mafia.
Boz as Joe Huff; an Alabama cop on suspension for doing things his way. When the FBI learns of his badassery; they enlist his help to take down a ruthless Mississippi biker gang known as the Brotherhood. Boz goes undercover as John Stone, and quickly gets into Stone Cold Trouble. Will Boz survive? Who will feed his pet iguana while he's away? Stone Cold has amble amounts of action, nakedness, and one-liners to please fans of B-movie awesomeness. It's Boz being Boz; in Craig R Baxley's super macho action adventure.
Have you ever seen a multi-colored mullet? Yup, Boz has one, and words can't do it justice. He doesn't like wearing shirts, but he loves vests and jackets. He rides…
A dangerous motorcycle gang is raining hell on the streets of Mississippi. The only soul brave enough to tackle them head on is a rouge cop with his own brand of justice. Some might recognize him from his days playing in the NFL. Others might also remember him as a huge bust with an ego that makes Cristiano Ronaldo look humble. But to me he is simply known as The Boz and he is one badass motherfucker. Ritz Crackers. Super Market Armed Robbery. The first time you see The Boz. Lay's Classic Potato Chips. Slippery when wet. Extreme target practice. Exploding pontoon boat. Snickers Candy Bar. The Boz's headband would make Olivia Newton-John and Richard Simmons jealous. Who doesn't have…
Wonderful tale of an incredible badass who, even though he kills all of them in spectacular fashion, totally fails to prevent a group of motorcycle enthusiasts from wiping out the Mississippi Supreme Court and a healthy chunk of the State Legislature.
If "Every film is a documentary of its own making" then this one leaves out that the cast had tickets to see Mötley Crüe on the day they were shooting the pitfight scene. It leaves out that after the director complained he was "seeing air" the stuntman who was fighting The Boz leaned into a punch more than he should have (The Boz did the right thing and sold the stuntman's Mötley Crüe ticket while the son-of-a-gun spent some time in the hospital). It also leaves out William Forsythe's odoriferous method acting, Lance Henrickson's Amazon biker wife-to-be, and the fact that they really trashed the Arkansas state capitol building (reportedly) resulting in the impeachment of the secretary of state. I guess it's not a very good documentary of its own making, but The Boz is still around so you can just tweet at him (@GotBoz44) and he'll verify these things.
"Take that fucking harmonica down to the parking lot, man!"
Brian Bosworth stars as Joe Huff, a lone wolf cop who fits aptly into the role of marauding meathead in order to infiltrate Lance Henriksen’s bad ass MC club ‘The Brotherhood’. These guys specialise in gun running, but they also excel in shooting, stabbing and blowing up the citizens of Mississippi for shits and giggles. Henriksen’s Sergeant at Arms is played here by the great William Forsythe, who instantly distrusts Huff (who changes his name to Stone Cold to ‘fit in’) and suspects him of being 5-0, but The Brotherhood take Stone Cold into the fold and Huff goes deeper and deeper undercover.
Stone Cold is my first Bosworth film although I do remember seeing his name pasted across some…
Glad I was too young for "Bosworthmania". Yeesh.
The first 15 minutes of Stone Cold are basically a remake of the first 15 minutes of Cobra.
There are some minor differences. For instance, in the supermarket this time Brian Bosworth has to fight off several thugs rather than just the one. Also, when he gets back to his apartment he feeds the concoction he makes for breakfast to....I don't actually know, it's some kind of lizard? There's also some motorbikes and a great one-liner to his angry lieutenant.
“You got a clean-up on aisle 4.”
Then it tries to be itself and it's never as good as the first 15 minutes. Again, it's very disappointing to see an action film attempting a plot that requires a thought, even…
Dumb as hell, but more fun than I expected.
What is it?
By the early nineties, director Craig R. Baxley was fresh from the success of the stunt-tastic ‘tough cop with a grudge’ movie Action Jackson, and followed it with the explosively entertaining ‘tough cop with a grudge’ flick Dark Angel. Sticking to the old adage of if it ain’t broke… the third in Baxley’s similarly themed trilogy was STONE COLD, which once more found a tough cop (Brian Bosworth), who finds himself blackmailed by the FBI into a dangerous, undercover mission to convict the members of a deadly biker gang.
It is! Though not the pinnacle of nineties action films, Baxley’s long career as a stuntman and stunt co-ordinator (The Long Riders, Predator) means that we’re…
So cheesy. So many pointless explosions. Great Rifftrax fun.
Best action film of 1991.
"Take that fucking harmonica down to the parking lot, man!"
No, it's not high art. Sure, it has its sloppy edges. I know, it plays very much like a post-80s B-actioner w/ a cop whose fascist ethos are wholly justified*. But, HOLY SHIT!, that driver-less motorcycle just crashed through a glass window, propelled itself into the air, slammed into an active helicopter, causing it to explode in mid-air and plummet toward several (hopefully vacant) cop cars below.
MVP: Lance Henriksen as Willie Nelson, natch. This is my Cobra!
*Still, he doesn't quite save the day in the end.
There comes a time Lance to turn it on?
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