Storage 24 is an inept British monster movie set in the claustrophobic setting of a London storage facility. Following a supposed plane crash, a small group are locked inside the facility with a murderous alien on the loose and out for their blood. Unfortunately, the film takes its sweet time getting to the monstrous action as the entire first half of this dull and plodding movie is reserved for developing the bland characters.

Noel Clarke (who is also responsible for this sorry script) mopes around following his breakup with Antonia Campbell-Hughes. Their relationship issues form the entire dramatic drive of the first half and it is unbelievably tedious as you just wish somebody would slap Clarke to stop his incessant…

Imagine this is the story of the families on LV426 before the Colonial Marines turned up. Doomed from the beginning, cooped up in the metal gerbil-tubing of a terra-forming station.
A fairly predictable but still eminently watchable movie, brightly lit because the power's still on so you can viscerally see every human paralysed with dread and ripped apart or spun-up in cocoon by the marauding alien foe.
Add in a little cutesy bit in the middle with a robotic dog Trojan Horse (alá Muffit in BSG) that ends horribly. And how about a surprise ending, not aluded to in other films in the cannon, where a terraforming engineer (who looks not unlike Michael Fassbender) escapes in a pod-like rocket on…

Noel Clarke is no stranger to taking on alien invaders, having made his name starring in Doctor Who. Conversely, he has a cult following for writing and directing his own gritty London dramas, and he combines the two skills by starring and penning in this attempt at a British comedy-scifi in the vein of The Faculty and Critters.

Clarke recruits a Michael Fassbender impersonator to help him pick up his stuff from storage after being resoundingly dumped by his girlfriend. The pair turn up to find his girlfriend, her posh, stroppy male friend and her hot, but judgemental female friend have had exactly the same idea. Cue awkward pause. Right then, however, wouldn't you know it, an escaped alien scarpers…

The allusion of the entire enterprise is clearly Alien (1979) and just a smidge of Aliens (1986), but this is a veneration well beyond the bounds of good taste (or creative merit): the music, sound-effects, opening text, transition scenes, alien sludge, and tunnelling through the vents are annexed directly. To keep you on your toes it is a British film; to ensure everyone can follow it, it is set in the only city anybody outside the country knows: London. The main actor is Noel Clarke (Mickey from Dr. Who), as Charlie, and the film begins with his trying to work through a pretty rough break-up from his girlfriend, Shelley (Antonia Campbell-Hughes), in a car with his best friend Mark (Colin…

"In London, a military plane crashes leaving its highly classfied contents strewn across the city. Completely unaware that the city is in lockdown, a group of people become trapped inside a storage facility with a highly unwelcomed guest"-IMDB

This films sounds like it could be a decent and interesting conspirarcy theory/monster movie from the above description but what I saw fell extremely short of being anything decent and that becomes very apparent.. very quickly. The film is set in a U-Haul type Storage facility called Storage 24 and focuses on a handful of characters trying to keep the peace between friends as they all help a broken couple within the group sort through their scattered and stored belongings but get…