Robert Rodriguez defining achievement. Almost as good as his Puerco Pibil recipe because remember "not knowing how to cook, is like not knowing how to fuck!" as the man said, and that would be like not knowing how to "suck"

Team Jacob has the same hair do in 2-thousand-5 as he does in 2-thousand-12. See a stylist son.

Well, it IS a film, and it's for kids, and kids like shit, so let's not worry too much about the intricacies. It's kinda like The Last Airbender except it's The Last Brain Farter with much, much worse graphics!

The kinda bad film that puts a smile on your face!

If you are an adult viewer and you can not appreciate what American New Wave Director Robert Rodriguez is up to with this film, then you are dead from the neck up. This movie is cleverly engrossing and great for your children to see and maybe they'll even be inspired to do their own creative projects.

Literally the worst movie I have ever seen. Why can't I give negative stars?

If you are an adult viewer and you can not appreciate what American New Wave Director Robert Rodriguez is up to with this film, then you are dead from the neck up. This movie is cleverly engrossing and great for your children to see and maybe they'll even be inspired to do their own creative projects.

Literally the worst movie I have ever seen. Why can't I give negative stars?

The acting is atrocious, the plot is ridiculous, the CGI is horrible and the 3D is fake! This movie is nothing but a piece of s--t! The worst movie I've ever seen.

Is as bad as it looks (Summer's brief summation a la Spalding Gray - she describes it as "a slow, hot burner"). You know at a theme park when they come up with a story to accompany those spectacle/ride/motion simulators (e.g. - Body Wars)? The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl feels like one of those that somebody decided should be thrust upon an unsuspecting theatrical audience. I understand that perhaps this was a ploy to use 3-D and by not watching it in 3-D, I may have missed out. But I really doubt it.

[ The child acting in this film - in general, I'm saying - is like a forest of felled trees. Think about it. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by my cleverness.]

Okay

Robert Rodriguez defining achievement. Almost as good as his Puerco Pibil recipe because remember "not knowing how to cook, is like not knowing how to fuck!" as the man said, and that would be like not knowing how to "suck"

Team Jacob has the same hair do in 2-thousand-5 as he does in 2-thousand-12. See a stylist son.

Well, it IS a film, and it's for kids, and kids like shit, so let's not worry too much about the intricacies. It's kinda like The Last Airbender except it's The Last Brain Farter with much, much worse graphics!

The kinda bad film that puts a smile on your face!

I saw it. And I cannot un-see it. I need alcohol now.

One of the most nonsensical yet terrible kids movies ever made-- And that's coming from someone who actually kind of likes the first two Spy Kids films!

This film came out back when 3D was big. You know, the time before Avatar. Yeah. Red and blue glasses. It was that kind of film. Lots of really spectacularly terrible CG effects "flying at you" out of the screen. Too bad there's nothing resembling a coherent story!

The only thing that makes this film worth even youtube-ing the trailer for is seeing a young Jacob Black himself, Taylor Lautner, playing the titular Sharkboy, possibly marking the only film he's been in that's worse than the Twilight franchise (though less harmful in the long term). This is slightly amusing. But seriously, spare yourself, and just rent the first Spy Kids instead. That's at the very least watchable.