I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…
The Expendables 2
Back for War.
Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.
"Ironic. Here we are you and I, and your knife. You're going to die, like him. What was his name? What did you call him? What does it matter?" - Jean Vilain
Round 2. Now how do you go about making a sequel to The Expendables that can live up to the very high standards (a trace of loving sarcasm can be found in this statement) set by the first one? Easy. The blueprint is already there, all you have to do is bring everyone back, amp everything up, give Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis more screen time (unfortunately Jet Li's will have to be reduced but that's understandable), bring in Chuck Norris for a scene-stealing moment and make Jean…
Is there a reverse equivalent of the Oscars? If so, here's my ballot:
Outstanding Performance in a Motion Picture (Drama) - Jean-Claude Van Damme
Outstanding Performance in a Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy [unintentional]) - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Worst Actor - Terry Crews
Worst Supporting Actor - Terry Crews
Person Who Gave Such A God Damn Awful Performance, It Can't Rightly be Called 'Acting' - Randy Couture
Most Understandable Accent - Jason Statham
Least Likely To Succeed - Terry Crews
Most Likely To Have Had His 4-Year Old Grandson Write The Dialogue - Sylvester Stallone
Winner of the 'What The Fuck Are You Doing In This Movie?' Award - Jet Li
Best Cameo - Chuck Norris
Most Likely To Have Been…
Six pounds of pure plutonium is powerful enough to change the balance of the world. Imagine what five tons will do.
This is probably the film the first Expendables should have been. The plot is kept simple and tight. There's dialogue that is legitimately funny. There's actual characterization done instead of just trying to make everyone look "cool". Lastly the bad CGI gore is toned down and is actually at an acceptable level this time.
Now if they would have stopped there this would have been a perfect action movie. Unfortunately there's still a few incredibly stupid moments in the film, but the ones that got to me the most was the overuse of meta-jokes. To say they're…
In every way this is better than the first film, and I really, really like the first film, so that's saying something. Easily the most fun I have had in a theater all year.
The arrogance of just showing up, doing the bare minimum, and expecting the world. Twice.
David Zucker could have directed this screenplay word for word and called it Action Movie...and it would have been a million times better.
My biggest issue with the first Expendables movie was that with such an incredible cast of action legends past and present, it didn't hold true to the over-the-top, comically violent action cinema it was trying to evoke nostalgia for. The Expendables 2, I'm glad to say, sees Sylvester Stallone finally realise that - and while his sequel don't get me wrong suffers all the same creative issues as the first, it's triple the fun across the board. If you loved the films Stallone, Arnie, Willis, Norris et al... became famous for, there is no way you won't spend most of this with a broad, beaming smile.
Stallone wisely ejects too much of the cod-philosophising he infused the first film with…
I have so much fun watching this movie. The action, comedy, and camaraderie all work for me. It's highly enjoyable and gets me in a good mood.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
The second Expendables is a major improvement over the original. It doesn't try to be as serious as the first one was at times and as a result is more fun. The action scenes are much better and the main villain is much more memorable. It's an incredibly entertaining action film that is very much aware of how cheesy it is.
Simon West can't direct action. So what's left in a film of wall-to-wall fighting? The images feel more like the subject of a Harun Farocki film: not composed for expression or beauty, but to coldly convey information to be read by machines. Everything that made the first EXPENDABLES a gorgeous mess is surgically removed from this hallow maneuver. The outrageous cliches worked in a film that was essentially a series of canvasses for masculine forms; human faces. But here almost every shot is of actors standing still and shooting machine guns.
Heavy week ended with seeing "expendables 2" which was silly, dumb but somehow emotionally resonant enough at times to make decapitation go from boringly ridiculous to strangely satisfying.
Its attempts at "purpose" was strange: from Sly's hesitancy in accepting women warriors to meeting a village of doomed women trying to warrior to strange creepy chemistry with lady young enough to know better. Oh and Dolph Lundgren is in another world of crazy - like cheap Mickey Rourke.
And yes for desensitizing ultra violence, now with Banter and a lot of muscular glutes.
Aside: the film quality kept shifting from shots with some light cgi, to overexposed to super grainy, to lots of tome spent watching the governator pulse and throb because of machine gun kicks. Strange and jarring.
Not funny in the most spectacular of ways. Non-sensical and just generally unentertaining.
I'm giving it the +2 stars for JCVD, who is a great villain, and the enjoyment of actually watching a cluster fuck get birthed.
My words on Path when I put this on were "Fuck it, why not?" and now I know why not. The production values aren't great. Everything looks cheap, like plastic or styrofoam. The cast then spout weird one-liners that are tonally just everywhere. People pop in for moments. Chuck Norris's intro actually says a Chuck Norris joke but without saying the Chuck Norris bit. There's no swearing, there was CGI blood in this version but it was awfully done, the sequence in the airport is so poorly directed and edited (like the rest of the film) that the entire geography made no sense. It was the most exhausted I've been watching an action scene for all the wrong reasons. I simply did not understand who was where or what was where or what the fuck was going on. This film just pissed me off to the max.
I kind of miss the self serious tone of the first movie and I also think this one winks at the camera a little too much, but I can't help but love the super charged heroics and the best action shot for the series so far. There's just no getting better than watching Arnold, Sly, and Bruce take down hundreds of bad guys.
The equivalent of watching your grandparents insist they've "still got it" for two hours.
- Sharky's Machine
- Absence of Malice
- On Golden Pond
- Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip
- In Your Hands
- Tuesday, After Christmas
- Six Shooter
Seeing as everybody else is going for it.
11,122 minutes wasted watching films
185 hours worth…
- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
- Glengarry Glen Ross
- The Great Escape
- L.A. Confidential
- The Thin Red Line
With The Avengers hitting screens next week I thought it a good time to highlight some other films with amazing…