I may be alone in this, but when I watch a film there particular sounds I love to hear unrelated…
Choose Your Weapon.
Barney Ross leads a band of highly skilled mercenaries including knife enthusiast Lee Christmas, a martial arts expert, heavy weapons specialist, demolitionist, and a loose-cannon sniper. When the group is commissioned by the mysterious Mr. Church to assassinate the dictator of a small South American island, Barney and Lee visit the remote locale to scout out their opposition and discover the true nature of the conflict engulfing the city.
Times change. What was once regarded as the norm is now considered passe. Action stars of the 80s and 90s were struggling in the new century, being unable to bring something new and instead recycling the same old stuff over and over again. The face of the action genre has changed significantly. So at a time when the action genre was being diluted into other genres and was becoming synonymous with CGI effects, twenty-something leads or Liam Neeson, bringing all the action giants of former glory together in one movie sure was a great idea. Taking advantage of the current state of action movies and the nostalgia factor while promising old-school material with a hefty dose of testosterone, The Expendables…
Testosterone porn made for people living in the past by people living in the past.
When the project was announced I was worried that the film would never live up to the casting and regrettably I was right. What is more surprising, and rather sad, is that not only did it not live up to expectation it was a flat out bad film. I remember reading a lot of positive comments when it was released in cinemas but I'm really struggling to see what the fans of the film saw in it. If this was released in the '80s or even late-'90s, when the action genre was in serious decline, nobody would give this a second look.
The dialogue is terrible and not in a good way, the action is poorly choreographed and often hard…
When I first read what Stallone was planning to do I was rather excited. It was such a cool concept to get together this cast and make a full on action film with them. The concept stands, some of the action works, but most of it is an unbelievable bore.
The script is of the 'my two year old had this great idea' variety and the dialogue matches. It is a complete waste of time and of all the talent involved. There's no chemistry, the humour falls flat and the dialogue is just excruciatingly bad.
The title is very apt though and almost feels like a meta criticism by its makers.
I have such low expectations for action movies that it takes almost nothing for me to be sated. Case in point.
The list of things that are terrible about this movie is very, very long. But I really enjoyed the sequence about 40 minutes in with Stallone and Statham breaking bones and crashing cars and flying planes and shooting guns.
I also really appreciated how the violence was ridiculously graphic. People explode and lose various appendages in a manner that I found quite appealing. Kudos, Sly.
Dudes who are super into this movie are also into "totally carbing out" and those tapout shirts with the tribal motifs and skulls all over them and shit. They get kanji tattoos that they think mean things like "POWER" and "STRENGTH". They eat brogurt. Yes. Brogurt is a thing. Don't believe me? Google 'powerful yogurt'.
'Only an idiot would do this job.'
The Expendables is an idea with some potential for success. Who wouldn't want to see a bunch of aging action stars indulging in some ridiculous, explosion-heavy hijinks, in an intelligently 'meta' blockbuster? The problem is that The Expendables isn't quite what it claims to be, and is burdened by too much sincerity to free its heroes up to give the audience what they truly want. It knows that it has to be tongue in cheek and silly, but it doesn't embrace it fully, and so fails to deliver.
Why any of the characters have names escapes me. Sylvester Stallone plays the lead Barney Ross, but he might as well be playing a guy…
Veteran action star, and Oscar nominated Sylvester Stallone wrote, directed, and stars in this over-the-top action blockbuster that was released nationwide in August of 2010. As advertised, this film is a venerable who's-who of Hollywood's action celebs: Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, and Mickey Rourke all join Stallone as our titular heroes, an elite team of highly skilled mercenaries. Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger also show up for single-scene cameo, which honestly seems a bit forced just to get their faces in the trailer.
Stallone is no stranger to action films, and this decidedly R-rated adventure is a competently accomplished production. It's well-paced, and doesn't disappoint in the one department everyone is watching for: explosions…
This 2010 American ensemble action film is written, directed and stars Sylvester Stallone. The film co-stars Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke. Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger provide cameo appearances.
A team of mercenaries led by Barney Ross (Stallone), known as ‘The Expendables’, return from a mission to free hostages from Somali pirates and face a few home truths about their lifestyle back on main land. Lee Christmas (Statham) is hurt to find his girlfriend has left him for another man, and Gunner Jensen (Lundgren) is deemed too volatile and unstable to continue as part of the team and is dismissed. Yin Yang (Li), Hale Caesar (Crews) and Toll Road (Couture)…
A little rough around the edges. A lot of talking for a big action film. The sequel is better.
Stallone applies his new found love for over-the-top gore appropriately in this high-octaned, HGH-injected machofest.
So, yeah. This sucks. I wouldn't have watched it, but it was a suggestion, and I said, yeah, okay, let's do it. And yeah, it's total rubbish. It doesn't make sense. The continuity person was shot in the opening scene. Stallone mumbles and everyone else follows suit. The camera person had ADD. Arnie has botoxed his whole body.
- The Hidden Fortress
- The Dark Knight
- Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
- Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
- Safe House
- Django Unchained
- The Artist
- Sin City
The posters in this list, that's what. Rules: black and white photo, with the title in red. Suggestions?
- Sharky's Machine
- Absence of Malice
- On Golden Pond
- Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip
I've always been interested in what other people are seeing and watching, and naturally, I love looking at Weekend Box…