The posters in this list, that's what. Rules: black and white photo, with the title in red. Suggestions?
Choose Your Weapon.
Barney Ross leads a band of highly skilled mercenaries including knife enthusiast Lee Christmas, a martial arts expert, heavy weapons specialist, demolitionist, and a loose-cannon sniper. When the group is commissioned by the mysterious Mr. Church to assassinate the dictator of a small South American island, Barney and Lee visit the remote locale to scout out their opposition and discover the true nature of the conflict engulfing the city.
When the project was announced I was worried that the film would never live up to the casting and regrettably I was right. What is more surprising, and rather sad, is that not only did it not live up to expectation it was a flat out bad film. I remember reading a lot of positive comments when it was released in cinemas but I'm really struggling to see what the fans of the film saw in it. If this was released in the '80s or even late-'90s, when the action genre was in serious decline, nobody would give this a second look.
The dialogue is terrible and not in a good way, the action is poorly choreographed and often hard…
When I first read what Stallone was planning to do I was rather excited. It was such a cool concept to get together this cast and make a full on action film with them. The concept stands, some of the action works, but most of it is an unbelievable bore.
The script is of the 'my two year old had this great idea' variety and the dialogue matches. It is a complete waste of time and of all the talent involved. There's no chemistry, the humour falls flat and the dialogue is just excruciatingly bad.
The title is very apt though and almost feels like a meta criticism by its makers.
I have such low expectations for action movies that it takes almost nothing for me to be sated. Case in point.
The list of things that are terrible about this movie is very, very long. But I really enjoyed the sequence about 40 minutes in with Stallone and Statham breaking bones and crashing cars and flying planes and shooting guns.
I also really appreciated how the violence was ridiculously graphic. People explode and lose various appendages in a manner that I found quite appealing. Kudos, Sly.
Dudes who are super into this movie are also into "totally carbing out" and those tapout shirts with the tribal motifs and skulls all over them and shit. They get kanji tattoos that they think mean things like "POWER" and "STRENGTH". They eat brogurt. Yes. Brogurt is a thing. Don't believe me? Google 'powerful yogurt'.
A movie so manly it chews bricks like chewing gum.
Part 4 of my "THIS...IS WRESTLEMANIA!!!" marathon
When this film was announced all those years ago, we all raised a glass in celebration. A celebration of our favourite action stars from back in the day getting together to kill countless inept baddies with deadly precision and infinite ammunition. When it was released I know I enjoyed it a hell of a lot as some dumb nostalgic fun.
Unfortunately after a few years and a few more watches, the novelty has worn off. The glee I had with my first viewing has waned quite a considerable amount. It's not that I think it's a bad film, just that it's.....mediocre.
With a clearer view, the story is non-existent, the characters for…
Stallone. Statham. Li. Rourke. Lundgren. Couture. Austin. Crews. With a cast lineup like this what could you possibly expect other than ridiculously testosterone fueled action. The answer is absolutely nothing more. And that is what you get from "The Expendables".
Sylvester Stallone himself directs this flick in which he leads a group of slightly more than able bodied mercenaries on dangerous missions in Central America. The team of hulking beasts shoot first and ask questions later. They don't take anybodies crap and certainly don't care whether they live or die, as long as they get to blow everything up. It's a 12 year old child's action explosion fantasy. Expect nothing more.
The film kicks off with these mercenaries on a…
I liked the bits were people got shot and stabbed and stuff blew up. Unfortunately there were also bits where there was talking. About half of that talking was completely indecipherable. Also, the plot is as thin as school toilet paper.
Other than a couple of neat action moments and cameos I was disappointed with this. Just felt like your run of the mill straight-to-DVD action movie. I wasn't sold by Rourke's teary monologues either. Oh well.
2010--Short take--Checking the date in IMDB, I see that they have come up with two more installments following this grizzled slab of nostalgia. It's not my nostalgia, mind you, and I am not amused.
I was expecting this movie to be a lot of fun, but it was full of a bunch of terrible 80's one-liners.
This got less enjoyable on a second viewing and it wasn't very enjoyable to start with.
I'll admit to a certain weakness for straight-forward (I'll use that phrase instead of 'simplistic') action films, especially when they have a bit of comedy mixed in, and this one fits that description. A group of 'experienced' (let's not say 'over the hill') mercenaries get involved in the usual mix of two-bit generals, corrupt government spooks, night raids, explosions and exotic weapons (Atchisson Assault's AA-12 automatic shotgun, complete with grenade rounds, is showcased nicely here). There's a large cast of familiar folks, which adds to the fun, but it's still a pretty mild effort (though I probably would have given the film another star if they could have squeezed Danny Trejo in somewhere).
Fun and frivolous with lots of blood and shooting.
Hot Take: A steaming pile of uninteresting action cliches.
- Safe House
- Django Unchained
- The Artist
- Sin City
- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
- Glengarry Glen Ross
- The Great Escape
- L.A. Confidential
- The Thin Red Line
With The Avengers hitting screens next week I thought it a good time to highlight some other films with amazing…
- 12 Rounds
- 12 Rounds 2: Reloaded
- The 40 Year Old Virgin
- Blade: Trinity
"Finally....The Scuv has come back to Letterboxd!!!"
Well I never really went away, but that seems like the perfect introduction…