(Almost) every film featured on the great film podcast Travis Bickle on the Riviera, hosted by Sean Witzke and Tucker…
War is Fine But The Fight Continues
A group of diamond thieves on the run kidnap the wife of a recently discharged marine who goes on a chase through the South Carolinian wilderness to retrieve her.
Sometimes, you just want a cheeseburger. You don't even want a particularly good cheeseburger. You want a greasy, nasty one that your stomach will probably pay for later. The Marine is that cheeseburger. It's formulaic, predictable and dumb, but it wears those traits in all the best ways. Cena may have the charisma of a tree stump, but he's only supposed to look good running through swamps, punching dudes, firing machine guns and jumping out of exploding buildings. Also, I cannot stress enough how much the buildings explode in this movie. On top of that you have Robert Patrick selling the hell out of his bad guy role. It's cheesy and glorious and worth watching, provided you know exactly what you're getting into. Watched for BMFcast 125.
After Commando I guess I wanted more horrible action film madness so I watched the John Cena action film The Marine in it's UNRATED form. This film is as random as it is over the top and you know what, it's pretty fun at the same time. The action when it happens is pretty well done but so damn insane that you have to laugh at it, the villains are so dumb that Commando would be proud. Robert Patrick is the main baddie and you can tell he is having a good time but man is he just so damn random and when the movie wants to be funny it's not, the jokes are pretty bad but man this is…
Amateur acting ... a stupid, generic story ... unimpressive action ... and oh yeah, John Cena, who has the acting talents/charisma equal to a brick.
It also pisses me off that "T-1000" himself ... the great Robert Patrick ... has his talents completely wasted in this. How can one of the greatest villains in cinema history, be defeated by John "fucking" Cena?! Give me a break ... This film sucks!
At least the women were smoking hot ... and that deserves at least one star.
Just as some actors migrate from the stage to the screen, there has always been wrestlers who make the transition from the "squared circle" to movies.
Some of these are actually quite successful (Jesse Ventura in 'Predator', Kurt Angle in 'Warrior', The Rock in some things), but most end up awful (Hulk Hogan in anything). Still, the advent of the WWE Films production company had a certain inevitability about it, and they have now churned out over 30 films, including two sequels to The Marine...
'The Marine' is my second exposure to WWE Films (after 'The Scorpion King') and I quite enjoyed laughing at it. Make no mistake - this is a bad film but it's a gloriously over-the-top action/vigilante film with a dubious sense of humour. If you want to waste 90 minutes watching WWE "Superstar" John Cena go up against Robert Patrick's gang of calamitous crooks then this is the so-bad-it's-good trash for you! 4/10.
So bad it's good. Almost like a mix between an over the top 80's action homage and a Michael Bay explosion wet dream. So stupid it's hilarious. Pretty fun mindless entertainment.
The choppy editing during the fight sequences -- the kind of editing you'd think you wouldn't need to employ if your lead is a professional wrestler, AKA a guy that ideally knows how to handle himself when it comes to choreographed fisticuffs -- is bad enough. It's the script's tone-deaf Bad Boys-esque sense of humor -- cf. giving the token black guy a chip on his shoulder, a needlessly-voiced hatred of rock candy, AND a monologue about being molested by a summer camp counselor -- that makes this shit spectacularly awful. However, if you're in the mood to see Robert Patrick shamelessly mug like a Father's Day gift, your disbelief suspension is up to code, and you enjoy seeing all sorts of things -- gas stations, cop cars, shacks -- explode, you could do worse(ish).
John Cena vs. Terrorists
John Cena vs. The T-1000/ Agent Doggett
John Cena vs. A swamp
John Cena vs. Multiple exploding buildings
John fuckin' Cena.
A recently discharged Marine (WWE dude John Cena) is vacationing with his hot wife when she is taken hostage by a gang of diamond thieves. This, naturally, proves to be a spectacularly bad move on their part, because Cena immediately goes all One Man Army to get her back. Big, loud shoot'em up, blow'em up action fun, dumb as a box of rocks but a total guilty pleasure.
Oh, Where To Start? The Marine Is An Incredibly Dumb, Preposterous Action Throwback Flick To The 80's With Lots of Explosions and Very Little Originality. John Cena, In His Film Debut, Looks Like An Amalgamation Of Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon But None Of The Charmisma Of Either Star. Robert Patrick and His Gang of Cardboard Cutout Villains All Deliver Hammy Performances That Go Against The Islamic Religion (Pork Joke, Sorry) Also, The Direction and Editing Are So Poor, They Wouldn't Even Suffice In Amateur Porn. In Summation, The Marine Is A Mind-Numbingly Awful Action Flick That's Best Viewed With a Few Friends, A Box of Pizza and A Couple of Brewskis.
2.5 Out of 10 On The Slate Scale
I want to join the marine corps but my mom won't let me.
great to watch drinking
the best movie i've seen since 12 rounds starring john cena
John Cena az egyik kedvenc pankrátorom, így gondoltam megnézem két legismertebb filmje közül az egyiket. Hát...
Először is a címadás is hülyeség, aztán úgy maga a film is egy durva B kategóriás valami, pedig azért nem rossz nevek fordultak meg ebben az alkotásban.
Mondjuk azért hatalmas plusz pont jár, amikor Cena üldözi a rossz fiúkat és Manu Bennett megszólal: "Ez a fickó egy terminátor" erre a kamera átvált Robert Patrick-ra (aka T-1000) aki szigorú pillantást vett a társára. :D
(Fast) Alle Filme, die in unserem Podcast "Flachbereich" besprochen wurden. Diesen findet man unter www.flachbereich.de