Watchlist of movies that only you and your best friends might appreciate.
Suggestion: Use www.random.org/ to draw which ones to…
A group of diamond thieves on the run kidnap the wife of a recently discharged marine who goes on a chase through the South Carolinian wilderness to retrieve her.
Sometimes, you just want a cheeseburger. You don't even want a particularly good cheeseburger. You want a greasy, nasty one that your stomach will probably pay for later. The Marine is that cheeseburger. It's formulaic, predictable and dumb, but it wears those traits in all the best ways. Cena may have the charisma of a tree stump, but he's only supposed to look good running through swamps, punching dudes, firing machine guns and jumping out of exploding buildings. Also, I cannot stress enough how much the buildings explode in this movie. On top of that you have Robert Patrick selling the hell out of his bad guy role. It's cheesy and glorious and worth watching, provided you know exactly what you're getting into. Watched for BMFcast 125.
Just as some actors migrate from the stage to the screen, there has always been wrestlers who make the transition from the "squared circle" to movies.
Some of these are actually quite successful (Jesse Ventura in 'Predator', Kurt Angle in 'Warrior', The Rock in some things), but most end up awful (Hulk Hogan in anything). Still, the advent of the WWE Films production company had a certain inevitability about it, and they have now churned out over 30 films, including two sequels to The Marine...
'The Marine' is my second exposure to WWE Films (after 'The Scorpion King') and I quite enjoyed laughing at it. Make no mistake - this is a bad film but it's a gloriously over-the-top action/vigilante film with a dubious sense of humour. If you want to waste 90 minutes watching WWE "Superstar" John Cena go up against Robert Patrick's gang of calamitous crooks then this is the so-bad-it's-good trash for you! 4/10.
After Commando I guess I wanted more horrible action film madness so I watched the John Cena action film The Marine in it's UNRATED form. This film is as random as it is over the top and you know what, it's pretty fun at the same time. The action when it happens is pretty well done but so damn insane that you have to laugh at it, the villains are so dumb that Commando would be proud. Robert Patrick is the main baddie and you can tell he is having a good time but man is he just so damn random and when the movie wants to be funny it's not, the jokes are pretty bad but man this is…
Amateur acting ... a stupid, generic story ... unimpressive action ... and oh yeah, John Cena, who has the acting talents/charisma equal to a brick.
It also pisses me off that "T-1000" himself ... the great Robert Patrick ... has his talents completely wasted in this. How can one of the greatest villains in cinema history, be defeated by John "fucking" Cena?! Give me a break ... This film sucks!
At least the women were smoking hot ... and that deserves at least one star.
So bad it's good. Almost like a mix between an over the top 80's action homage and a Michael Bay explosion wet dream. So stupid it's hilarious. Pretty fun mindless entertainment.
Things that happen to John Cena in this movie (without him getting a fucking scratch on him)*:
1. Shot at thousands of times (a lot of which happen in a three minute span)
2. Close proximity to multiple explosions
3. Hit in the head with a fire extinguisher
4. Jumps out of a flaming car while it is going off of a cliff and getting shot at
5. Multiple fist fights
6. Rides on the side of a truck as it crashes into a crazy amount of obstacles
This isn't a very good movie, and Cena has the acting ability of a rock (sadly not the Dwayne Johnson variety), but Robert Patrick has a lot of fun as the insane villain, so it's somewhat watchable.
*he finally gets a little scratched up in the final fight (but not really)
This movie was pretty bad.
First half was pretty fun and cheesy. Second half was rather boring.
Robert Patrick was so hammy.
Just watch 12 Rounds instead.
If you try to have action in a movie and it doesn't work, it's just boring. But if you try to have comedy in a movie and it doesn't work, it's absolutely painful. Here the attempts at humour were so limp that I felt my soul being crushed slowly. Example laugh line:
Bad guy henchman: That marine is still coming! He's like the Terminator!
Robert Patrick: [bugs eyes out]
Me: [tries to gulp down a gallon of bleach]
I remember enjoying the shit out of this back in 07ish when we caught it on cable one night, drunkenly enjoying the ridiculousness of it all.
It needs revisiting, so that I may confirm or deny this memory.
John Cena and over the top acting by Robert Patrick? Count me in!
The worst WWE-produced film to date, easily. John Cena has all the acting range of a plank of wood here. Robert Patrick is hamming because he apparently read the script before the filming and realized that even he couldn't save this garbage. And Kelly Carlson, dear sweet, hot, beautiful Kelly Carlson, is given exactly nothing to do. Lots of action movie tropes here, to be sure, but when they are done with so little flair or energy, it doesn't matter. This is brutally dumb, boring, and completely wastes Cena in the lead role. This guy can be entertaining if given the opportunity. He didn't have that opportunity here, that's for sure. "The Marine" makes "Rambo" look like "Casablanca".
This movie is like cheap pizza; so bad, but stil good.
There's a scene in this movie where John Cena does a jumping spinning roundhouse kick. That's 5 stars worthy if you ask me.
John Cena vs. Terrorists
John Cena vs. The T-1000/ Agent Doggett
John Cena vs. A swamp
John Cena vs. Multiple exploding buildings
John fuckin' Cena.
In honor of my front right tire that died today. RIP.
Feel free to comment with any movies that qualify.…
These are films that I've seen over the years that I've either liked or loved, but A LOT of people…