The Marine
2006 Directed by John Bonito
Synopsis
A group of diamond thieves on the run kidnap the wife of a recently discharged marine who goes on a chase through the South Carolinian wilderness to retrieve her.
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Sometimes, you just want a cheeseburger. You don't even want a particularly good cheeseburger. You want a greasy, nasty one that your stomach will probably pay for later. The Marine is that cheeseburger. It's formulaic, predictable and dumb, but it wears those traits in all the best ways. Cena may have the charisma of a tree stump, but he's only supposed to look good running through swamps, punching dudes, firing machine guns and jumping out of exploding buildings. Also, I cannot stress enough how much the buildings explode in this movie. On top of that you have Robert Patrick selling the hell out of his bad guy role. It's cheesy and glorious and worth watching, provided you know exactly what you're getting into. Watched for BMFcast 125.
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So bad it's good. Almost like a mix between an over the top 80's action homage and a Michael Bay explosion wet dream. So stupid it's hilarious. Pretty fun mindless entertainment.
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Totally ludicrous but somehow still strangely entertaining "one man army" action flick with WWE Superstar John Cena continuing his tradition of no-selling while single-handedly blowing up the entire state of South Carolina (via Australia). The hot chick from Nip/Tuck is his wife and T-1000 is the bad guy. Also: the strangest and best story about rock candy you'll ever hear.
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One of the worst things I've ever seen.
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Fuck this movie is dumb as fuck, but if you're after an unitentional comedy with ridiculously OTT action scenes and cheesy dialogue that isn't self aware, give this a shot. It cerntainly becomes quite entertaining in that aspect. Personally I'm a big fan of movies that are so-bad-they're-good, but if you're not you should probably take away two stars from the rating below.
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John Cena. He isn't the greatest wrestler in the world, chances are that your nan could throw a more convincing punch than this man but what Cena can do is deliver a decent promo and he knows how to get a crowd behind him when on the mic. It's no surprise then that his feature leading debut is something of a success in the no brains, balls out action stakes.
WWE films haven't got the budget to throw mega effects at this so the whole thing has a low rent feeling but that doesn't stop it from being quite fun. Cena is likeable and displays as much acting prowess as any other action star. The ever reliable Robert Patrick performs…
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You'd be surprised by how not awful this movie is. It's almost like a tribute to old school action movies, where a bland hero (and Cena is REALLY bland) shoots and explodes his way through a bunch of bad guys. Robert Patrick is clearly having a blast as the main villain, and actually all the bad guys Cena runs through are a lot more interesting and fun than our hero (this also functions as a metaphor for modern day WWE). All in all, it's a pretty fun over the top action movie.
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The acting in this movie is better than I was ready to give it credit for. That, however, could not help what was a fairly terrible story. The beginning shows some sort of depth, but it never pays off. The rest of the movie becomes shots of people running after each other, or the explosions of when on catches up to another. It was better than I expected, but still pretty bad.
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This is possible the worst movie I've ever had the displeasure of watching. I'm not sure who told John Cena he has acting talent, but they should be arrest for crimes against humanity. So much about this movie was bad, I'll be doing this all day if I write them.
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One of the worst things I've ever seen.
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A mindless but passable action movie for wrestler turned semi-actor Cena. He shows great physicality and the effects are great. Patrick was obviously having a lot of fun with this popcorn fare as you can almost see him laughing at some of the lines he has to deliver.
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Ich bin ja jemand, der sich durchaus für gradlinige, einfache Actionfilme begeistern kann. Allerdings sollte dann auch die Qualität der Actionszenen stimmen und sich nicht jedes Element in derselben Reihenfolge immer und immer wieder wiederholen. Doch genau das macht “The Marine”. Er wiederholt dieselben Dinge immer wieder. Und auch die Effekte sind unter aller Sau. Das es mittlerweile an der Tagesordnung ist jede Explosion am Computer zu kreieren ist ja schön und gut, nur sollte man diese künstliche Nachbearbeitung nicht auch noch auf den ersten Blick erkennen können. Klar, so ein Computereffekt ist günstiger als eine echte Explosion, doch verliert eine Actionsequenz einiges an Glaubwürdigkeit, wenn eine computeranimierte Explosion als solche zu erkennen ist.
Ein zweiter Punkt sind die Schauspieler.…
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Yes, it's a stupid action movie, but a quite funny one with impressive explosions and some really nice car stunts.
The villains are hilarious, especially Robert Patrick, with plenty of batshit lines of dialogue. Patrick's comedic performance was even on purpose. -
This movie started off stupid, but just stupid enough it was entertaining, but after awhile it got really really stupid like I was counting down the minutes until it would end.
Cena must juice up a lot, cause his character seems to take abuse that would kill us normal folk twenty times over. He is blown up at least three times and usually never even has a hair out of place???
Kelly Carlson is hot. She was the only good thing about this film.
The action is over the top in a bad way, for example that car chase is so laughably bad. Even a decent actor like Patrick is awful in this. At one point one bad guy asks if Cena is a Terminator, to which Patrick kind of winks at the camera. Awful.
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Fuck this movie is dumb as fuck, but if you're after an unitentional comedy with ridiculously OTT action scenes and cheesy dialogue that isn't self aware, give this a shot. It cerntainly becomes quite entertaining in that aspect. Personally I'm a big fan of movies that are so-bad-they're-good, but if you're not you should probably take away two stars from the rating below.