The Roller Blade Seven
In a futuristic society, a sword-wielding roller skater fights evil ninjas, punk roller skaters and is sent on an important rescue mission.
Atrocious shot-on-video crap from Scott Shaw and Donald G. Jackson about a post-apocalyptic rollerblading future which was made under the pair’s “zen filmmaking style,” which is totally improvised on set. Shaw stars as Hawk, a sword-wielding martial artist who must save his sister as he comes up against various antagonists, including a clown armed with Nerf bats and a banjo player wrapped in gauze. The film is edited so as to repeat key scenes over and over, and there aren’t really any swordifghts per se, the characters just carry swords and stare each other down. Dismal, confusing, and a total mess from an artistic standpoint.