Part of Clintfest '13

Near the start of this film, you think that Clint's talking about a car, but really he's talking about a woman. Classic.

As you might expect, he plays a tough cop who's on the trail of one of the Scousers from Harry Enfield (Raul Julia) and his nympho bird, but finds himself saddled with a blazer-wearing foetus haunted by a voice in his head saying "Jump, Joey! Jump!" (Charlie Sheen). Aside from his moustache and three-stripe tracksuit, Julia may be the least interesting adversary of Eastwood's career, largely because of the laughable disconnect between his main avenue of work (stealing and re-spraying cars) and the measures he takes to cover it up: namely shooting everyone in…

Eastwood and Sheen star in style-less and cliché-ridden buddy cop film with a strong setting and an inappropriate score.

There are some surprisingly satisfactory action scenes but they all lack any tension. The villain of the film is so vanilla, and is summed up by his love of Adidas tracksuits and lack of reaction to his wife raping Eastwood. Grand Theft Auto also seems to be a less than intriguing or sinister scheme.

The film also manages to go through the motions of about five other films all at once. The father and son relationship is jarring as is the loss of a brother. The sequence where Sheen goes Rambo is also ridiculous.

There is also an awkward self-aware nature…

It being Friday night I devoured a bottle of Cote-du-Rhones villages, smashed a bag of Mexican Chipotle sensations and watched a Clint Eastwood movie. As you do.

I should have liked this way more than I did. I love Clint. I love Charlie Sheen (and that he went insane a few years back). I love Raul Julia, who's the principle bad guy. But The Rookie is a total mess. From the title to every single character and scene, nothing really makes sense. And yet it's Clint Eastwood so that's easy to forgive.

There's an early scene that compensates me for every shortfall. Remember in Bad Boys 2 where the cops chase a car carrying truck and the cars get released…

Eastwood and Sheen star in style-less and cliché-ridden buddy cop film with a strong setting and an inappropriate score.

There are some surprisingly satisfactory action scenes but they all lack any tension. The villain of the film is so vanilla, and is summed up by his love of Adidas tracksuits and lack of reaction to his wife raping Eastwood. Grand Theft Auto also seems to be a less than intriguing or sinister scheme.

The film also manages to go through the motions of about five other films all at once. The father and son relationship is jarring as is the loss of a brother. The sequence where Sheen goes Rambo is also ridiculous.

There is also an awkward self-aware nature…

Part of Clintfest '13

Near the start of this film, you think that Clint's talking about a car, but really he's talking about a woman. Classic.

As you might expect, he plays a tough cop who's on the trail of one of the Scousers from Harry Enfield (Raul Julia) and his nympho bird, but finds himself saddled with a blazer-wearing foetus haunted by a voice in his head saying "Jump, Joey! Jump!" (Charlie Sheen). Aside from his moustache and three-stripe tracksuit, Julia may be the least interesting adversary of Eastwood's career, largely because of the laughable disconnect between his main avenue of work (stealing and re-spraying cars) and the measures he takes to cover it up: namely shooting everyone in…

Watched March 18, 2013

Veteran cop (Clint Eastwood) who doesn't play by the rules gets his partner shot up while chasing some car thieves and is assigned a new rookie partner (Charlie Sheen). Now they're going to go get the man who is behind that car theft ring. Fill in the rest of the plot yourself, you can't do worse than than the real thing. Because oh, my goodness, this is awful. And I think most of the actors knew it - they looked and acted like they hated being there. Or maybe I was just projecting. What a waste of some fine talent too: Raul Julia and Sonia Braga particularly.

I lost track of how many movies it copied…

It being Friday night I devoured a bottle of Cote-du-Rhones villages, smashed a bag of Mexican Chipotle sensations and watched a Clint Eastwood movie. As you do.

I should have liked this way more than I did. I love Clint. I love Charlie Sheen (and that he went insane a few years back). I love Raul Julia, who's the principle bad guy. But The Rookie is a total mess. From the title to every single character and scene, nothing really makes sense. And yet it's Clint Eastwood so that's easy to forgive.

There's an early scene that compensates me for every shortfall. Remember in Bad Boys 2 where the cops chase a car carrying truck and the cars get released…