More and more often as I watch films about relationships, I find myself thinking, "if someone did this in real…
This Means War
It's SPY Against SPY
Two top CIA operatives wage an epic battle against one another after they discover they are dating the same woman.
There's a guy with a pistol and another guy with a pistol and a girl who fucks the one guy but also fucks the other guy and they all fuck and shoot and kiss and fuck and fight.
I have a fundamental issue with McG’s latest film, and not just because it is bad. Two best friends, on discovering that they have been dating the same woman, embark on an escalating battle with each other rather than following the simple maxim, bros before hos (it’s not even if they know if she gives mindblowing blow jobs at this point). So who exactly are we supposed to root for here? The two love blind schmucks or the unbelievably bland love interest who neither have any chemistry with. In fact there is more sexual tension between the BFF’s than with their object of desire. Witherspoon and Pine even meet over trying to rent the same film (the horrible remake of…
Now what's the word I'm looking for?
Piss poor in just about every aspect of film making? Njet.
Waste of talent? Non.
A veneered turd? Nee.
All of the above?
Yeah. That's it.
I think I should just recap the movie for everyone:
There are pretty people that do pretty people things. One pretty person likes another pretty person and that pretty person is liked by another pretty person. They decide to do some pretty person shenanigans in order to win the heart of that pretty person so they can have pretty people sex.
Are you unsure of who was who and who wanted to have sex with each other based on that review? So was I, because I thought the film was going to end with Kirk and Bane fucking each other.
I'm so happy that Tom Hardy and Chris Pine still have a career after this movie, because this almost ruined their acting career's, well to me it did.
This Means War is about these two deadly CIA operatives are inseparable partners and best friends until they fall for the same woman. Having once helped bring down entire enemy nations, they are now employing their incomparable skills and an endless array of high-tech gadgetry against their greatest nemesis ever - each other.
The one thing I always hate about these brain dead action comedy movies, is the fact that the action and comedy itself isn't well done and it feels out of place. Well what am I expecting from the same…
This Means Clichés
This Means Shit
This Means Awful
This Means Tom Hardy Can't Save It
This Means McG Sucks
This Means Implausible
This Means It Fails at Action
This Means It Fails at Comedy
This Means My Wife Picked It
This Means Fuck Her
Fuck it you get the point, the one star Is for Tom Hardy. This Means He Shouldn't Take Roles Like This.
How can a movie with such good (and hot nevertheless) actors be more sleep effectiv than propofol? How?
Sweet, entertaining, relaxing.
I saw this movie three times in theater when it first came out...*Courage the Cowardly Dog voice* the things I for love.
TOM HARDY, YOU'RE LUCKY I LOVE YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT
honestly tho fdr and tuck should've ended up together and it's disappointing they didn't
How does Tom Hardy of all people get talked into doing something this trite?
pretty funny ill ell you that
Action, and funny. Really enjoyed.
Nice scenery but not a great film.
WHY IS EVERYBODY IN THIS MOVIE SO AWFUL
EVERY CHARACTER WAS VARYING DEGREES OF ANNOYING ASSHOLE
AND NOT IN AN ENTERTAINING WAY
I am convinced the poor guy's sanity hangs by a thread at times. Kermode is pretty much the reason I…
Films that I do not want to watch. Ever.