Films that I do not want to watch. Ever.
This Means War
It's SPY Against SPY
Two top CIA operatives wage an epic battle against one another after they discover they are dating the same woman.
There's a guy with a pistol and another guy with a pistol and a girl who fucks the one guy but also fucks the other guy and they all fuck and shoot and kiss and fuck and fight.
I have a fundamental issue with McG’s latest film, and not just because it is bad. Two best friends, on discovering that they have been dating the same woman, embark on an escalating battle with each other rather than following the simple maxim, bros before hos (it’s not even if they know if she gives mindblowing blow jobs at this point). So who exactly are we supposed to root for here? The two love blind schmucks or the unbelievably bland love interest who neither have any chemistry with. In fact there is more sexual tension between the BFF’s than with their object of desire. Witherspoon and Pine even meet over trying to rent the same film (the horrible remake of…
Now what's the word I'm looking for?
Piss poor in just about every aspect of film making? Njet.
Waste of talent? Non.
A veneered turd? Nee.
All of the above?
Yeah. That's it.
I'm so happy that Tom Hardy and Chris Pine still have a career after this movie, because this almost ruining their acting career's, well to me it did.
This Means War is about these two deadly CIA operatives are inseparable partners and best friends until they fall for the same woman. Having once helped bring down entire enemy nations, they are now employing their incomparable skills and an endless array of high-tech gadgetry against their greatest nemesis ever - each other.
The one thing I always hate about these brain dead action comedy movies, is the fact that the action and comedy itself isn't well done and it feels out of place. Well what am I expecting from the same…
I think I should just recap the movie for everyone:
There are pretty people that do pretty people things. One pretty person likes another pretty person and that pretty person is liked by another pretty person. They decide to do some pretty person shenanigans in order to win the heart of that pretty person so they can have pretty people sex.
Are you unsure of who was who and who wanted to have sex with each other based on that review? So was I, because I thought the film was going to end with Kirk and Bane fucking each other.
This Means Clichés
This Means Shit
This Means Awful
This Means Tom Hardy Can't Save It
This Means McG Sucks
This Means Implausible
This Means It Fails at Action
This Means It Fails at Comedy
This Means My Wife Picked It
This Means Fuck Her
Fuck it you get the point, the one star Is for Tom Hardy. This Means He Shouldn't Take Roles Like This.
Now I know why Hardy regrets his involvement in this movie.
Last night I watched This Means War and I thought it was amazing! Funny story, nice actors, great chemistry and hilarious scenes! Sometimes a bit predictable but that didn’t make it less funny. So what is this film about?
Two guys, who are friends and colleagues getting sort of free time from work when a mission goes bad. Tuck, Tom Hardy, is a divorced man with a child and the more serious one when it comes to woman. FDR or Franklin (Chris Pine) is more of a player with a lot of talks. The third person in this story is Lauren, Reese Witherspoon. When her friend Trish (Chelsea Handler) sings her up on a dating profile she meets Tuck and…
I wish the Tom Hardy from Mad Max: Fury Road would beat up the Tom Hardy in This Means War.
Definitely not a gentleman's romance but a risqué modernist romance. Besides embracing unwholesome morals, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy literally saves the movie from its disastrous simplicity with haphazard panache.
Not necessarily a waste of talent but unsurprisingly unexceptional.
god bless whoever's decision it was to put tom hardy in tight, tight shirts for the whole movie
I started out feeling somewhat embarrassed for Chris Pine and Tom Hardy for whatever desperation led them to agree to star in a Reese Witherspoon RomCom. Surprisingly, however, I ended up thoroughly enjoying this film. Maybe it was Pine's Captain Kirk showing through or Hardy's unapologetic British dental situation. I may never know what it was that kept me from turning it off as my 930 bedtime drew close and actually saw me through to the end of the film at 1030. All I know it was a great first watch and I would recommend it to all the single ladies who had to take a cold shower after watching Mad Max: Fury Road.
My friend and I subjected ourselves to this terrible romantic comedy for the sole purpose of ogling Tom Hardy for 98 minutes. I REGRET NOTHING. (But yeah, horrible movie.)
More and more often as I watch films about relationships, I find myself thinking, "if someone did this in real…
I am convinced the poor guy's sanity hangs by a thread at times. Kermode is pretty much the reason I…