Films that I do not want to watch. Ever.
This Means War
It's SPY Against SPY
Two CIA agents, Tuck and Frank who are also best friends, have been benched because someone's after them. Tuck is divorced with a son whom he's not close to and Frank is a ladies man. Tuck decides to try and find someone so he places his profile on a dating website. Lauren, a woman also looking for a guy sees tuck's profile and goes with him. She later bumps into Frank and he hits on her and she goes out with him. she's intrigued by both of them. When they learn that they're dating the same girl, they agree to let her choose. But both can't help but use their skills to keep tabs on her and each other. And also sabotage each others dates with her.
There's a guy with a pistol and another guy with a pistol and a girl who fucks the one guy but also fucks the other guy and they all fuck and shoot and kiss and fuck and fight.
I have a fundamental issue with McG’s latest film, and not just because it is bad. Two best friends, on discovering that they have been dating the same woman, embark on an escalating battle with each other rather than following the simple maxim, bros before hos (it’s not even if they know if she gives mindblowing blow jobs at this point). So who exactly are we supposed to root for here? The two love blind schmucks or the unbelievably bland love interest who neither have any chemistry with. In fact there is more sexual tension between the BFF’s than with their object of desire. Witherspoon and Pine even meet over trying to rent the same film (the horrible remake of…
Now what's the word I'm looking for?
Piss poor in just about every aspect of film making? Njet.
Waste of talent? Non.
A veneered turd? Nee.
All of the above?
Yeah. That's it.
I think I should just recap the movie for everyone:
There are pretty people that do pretty people things. One pretty person likes another pretty person and that pretty person is liked by another pretty person. They decide to do some pretty person shenanigans in order to win the heart of that pretty person so they can have pretty people sex.
Are you unsure of who was who and who wanted to have sex with each other based on that review? So was I, because I thought the film was going to end with Kirk and Bane fucking each other.
This Means Clichés
This Means Shit
This Means Awful
This Means Tom Hardy Can't Save It
This Means McG Sucks
This Means Implausible
This Means It Fails at Action
This Means It Fails at Comedy
This Means My Wife Picked It
This Means Fuck Her
Fuck it you get the point, the one star Is for Tom Hardy. This Means He Shouldn't Take Roles Like This.
Oh, it was the most humiliating moment ever.
None of them should ever work with McG again. I also don't understand how it could have taken four people to write this script, because other then the directing the script is the biggest problem this film has working against it. I don't want to waste anymore time writing about this film.
This movie kept me pretty well entertained throughout. The cast did help the film out a lot. The overall plot of the story does make the movie interesting. The two guys trying to win one girl plot is one that most men can relate to. The reason that I am only giving this movie three stars is the fact that neither the plot, not the humor in the movie was exceptional. There were certainly funny parts of the movie, but nothing that was exceptionally memorable. This movie is definitely a decent watch, but nothing extraordinary.
Another bland, boring and misfire of a romantic comedy, this film could have been terrific, but it wastes all its potential on such a lacking script that elements that normally would gel together simply don’t. Instead, This Mean War is a tedious affair, a film that relies on genre clichés in order to create its plot and jokes. I must admit, I did smile a few times, but I didn’t laugh one bit. This film really could have been much better, but as it is, it’s a film that misses the mark. Considering that Tom Hardy was in this, I was hoping that he would this dreadful picture, but he didn’t. This Means War is void of laughter, and it…
Worst movie I saw in 2012. By a pretty healthy margin. My NPR review.
This was so damn painful to watch 80 percent of the time. The only thing this movie has got going for it is my love for Tom Hardy and a brief inclusion of Young Frankenstein in one of the scenes.
Sexy, smart, rom com with laugh out loud bits. Both Hardy + Pine play great dates for Witherspoon.
Reese is torn between Bane and Capt Kirk
Una divertida película, que soluciona el problema de ¿Qué ver con tu pareja?¿Acción o romance?. Una historia muy sencilla, y algo predecible, que te distraerá por 105 minutos. This means war, nos muestra acción, amor y algo de diversión. Totalmente recomendada para un sábado por la noche
Quite funny, I was laughing out loud at some of the jokes they made.
No need for the age old debate of James T. Kirk vs. Jean-Luc Picard when you can be with, and sleep with both the young captains of the USS Enterprise!
- Project X
- Pearl Harbor
- Daddy Day Care
- The Last Airbender
- American Reunion
- Searching for Sugar Man
- The Imposter
- Too Big to Fail
- The Girl
All re-watches are excluded.
- Ruby Sparks
- The Man from Nowhere
- Batman: Year One
- Rosemary's Baby
- Perfect Sense
Try to watch 500 movies in 2013. Begins when the clock hits January 1, 2013 ends when the clock hits…