Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Why is this movie so bad? How about the charisma vacuum that is Shia Leboeuf. How about indistiguishable robots. How about unwatchable fight scenes featuring indistinguishable robots. How about Sams "Hilarious parents". How about racist Autobots. How about Megan Fox being treated like a sex doll, bent over a bike with a shot so invasive you can see what she had for breakfast that morning. How about an old age robot who - for some unknown reason - suffers from flatulence. How about a "hilarious" midget joke. How about Devastators wrecking ball testicles. How about the fact that this film is called 'Revenge Of The Fallen' when there's no revenge by The Fallen whatsoever, and when this "Uber-Transformer" does eventually gets off his metal arse, he's killed within two fucking minutes. Truly abysmal. I think giving this piece of shit one star is incredibly generous, but they caught me in a good mood. Well done.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
Review In A Nutshell:
Another visit has shown that I was too over-critical of my previous review.
Behind all of its critical backlash and shallow-minded viewers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a gem that pushes the capabilities of its audience; providing a storyline that demands intense concentration due to its remarkable depth and swift, but precise editing. Bay puts it all on screen in an almost kind-of barrage to the senses, but if one simply lets themselves go, a sense of euphoria could be felt, one that taps into our childish imaginations and desperation for hard-hitting adrenaline. Sure there are instances where the characters themselves are taken too seriously, distracting us from the intense carnage that surrounds them, but…
*bam boum bam boum* *silly dialogue* *bam boum bam boum* *silly dialogue*
An unfortunate victim of the Writer's Strike, Transformers 2 suffers from a mess of a script that can't be saved by Bay's visual style or its talented cast.
o melhor da série
Okay I guess I understand all the hate surrounding this film but it doesn't sit the same with me. When I saw this in theaters 6 years ago when everyone complained about the long runtime, I didn't understand it and enjoyed the whole thing. I still think Sam's parents are hilarious and the soundtrack is amazing. Sure there's enough cheesy valor speeches to give the 2016 presidential candidates a run for their money but it works. Sue me, it's guilty pleasure.
Loud, obnoxious, and long... this movie is absolute torture, but at least it's not boring?
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is about ..... the same shit as the first movie. Michael Bay did a great job at ignoring the criticisms people had with the first movie, and turning the positives from the first movie into negatives as well. The acting is still some of the worst I've ever seen (Sam's parents really stood out this time in that regard), the story is ... uhm, well, non-exisistent, the characters are once again underdeveloped (I even disliked the autobots this time due to their lack of personality), the cinematography is oversaturated with blue and yellow and it is unclear to follow what's going on during the action because the CGI on the bots look unpolished and because…
Oh god all the hurt and painful memories of my first experience watching this film are flooding back to me. This is a film that just doesn't work on any level and is easily one of the worst films ever made.
Before someone says stuff like "It's bloody Transformers, Callum. There is nothing wrong with mindless action and a film about giant robots hitting each other". While yes there is nothing wrong with a mindless action film, the problem is that this films doesn't even work on that level because you barely get half an hour of action in this 2 and a hour long film and those extra 2 hours are nothing but patting, exposition and unfunny jokes.
I feel numb.
Every problem seemed one of their own making. It made for a tiresome story and very contrived. The pop culture references got really tedious as well. A real irritant was how at each plot problem we are told what is going on and then the decepticons get every piece of info too and every time through a coincidence. Conflict, what conflict?!
The old decepticon from the museum was the only cool thing...
BOTTOM LINE: At least there was a story this time.
I'd love to see more of these stories. REALLY entertaining stuff. If anyone has some, send away.
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