Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
Director: Michael Bay
Screenwriters: Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman
Based on the “entertainment franchise” of the same name (their phrase, not mine...)
Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Isabel Lucas, John Turturro, Ramon Rodriguez Kevin Dunn & Julie White
Runtime: 150 min // Certificate: 12a
If Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is any indication of its director’s mind-set, criticism must bounce off Michael Bay like water off a duck’s back. In one respect, the man’s immovable ability to ignore the valid concerns of his stars, his writers, his critics – heck, even his fans – is an almost admirable quality. Anyone who gives not one single fuck about the whinging and whining of the politically correct elite,…
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
One has to marvel at Michael Bay's ability to make even giant robots uninteresting.
Lots of emphasis on the erectile nature of being a bro, the temptations of college, the awesomeness of candy-painted cards and hot chicks. The gold teethed, ebonics-trained robots were a nice touch; same goes for the right wing parents who take pleasure in some liberal paraphernalia. More military endorsements, gargantuan running time, and some truly garbled action scenes. Kind of appreciate its inconsideration.
Just need more one star reviews
Well, naturally I wasn't expecting all that much (I'm NOT a fan of Bay's take on the franchise at all, all whirring silliness), but the first half of this film is truly horrible - a continuous assault of inappropriate slapstick, misplaced college humour and liberal amounts of plain old filmatic crap.
After they get Jetstream up the film gets rolling however, and towards the end the pyramid-crushing robot fighting gets fairly epic, accompanied by a suitably rousing score. I actually found myself amused, now what.
And whoa I was happy when they finally covered up Optimus Prime's horrible mouth. Ugh.
The effects are great as always its just the movie is obsessed with being in slow motion, having all these explosions that looks like fireworks I hate the racist robots and once again I can't stand Sia Labeouf and Megan Foxx is good looking but her actings bad and the script's awful.
Michael Bay is a film director with very little talent although he can make once in a while really solid popcorn and mindless entertainment. The first Transformers movie released in 2007 is a fine example of that. I like that movie very much for how ridiculously entertaining and fun to watch it is, and I need no other reason to. Revenge of the Fallen was the second sequel Bay ever made and again it was really bad compared to the original. Back in 2003 he directed Bad Boys II and that wasn't even half as fun as the one from 1995 had been. As I said before, he's not a very gifted filmmaker but he's even worse at making sequels…
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war. - IMDB
Backdating from found movie ticket stub.
"I am directly below the enemy scrotum" That is an actual line in this movie. No I'm not joking. Just don't watch this movie
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