Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Why is this movie so bad? How about the charisma vacuum that is Shia Leboeuf. How about indistiguishable robots. How about unwatchable fight scenes featuring indistinguishable robots. How about Sams "Hilarious parents". How about racist Autobots. How about Megan Fox being treated like a sex doll, bent over a bike with a shot so invasive you can see what she had for breakfast that morning. How about an old age robot who - for some unknown reason - suffers from flatulence. How about a "hilarious" midget joke. How about Devastators wrecking ball testicles. How about the fact that this film is called 'Revenge Of The Fallen' when there's no revenge by The Fallen whatsoever, and when this "Uber-Transformer" does eventually gets off his metal arse, he's killed within two fucking minutes. Truly abysmal. I think giving this piece of shit one star is incredibly generous, but they caught me in a good mood. Well done.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
My favorite part of this movie was sitting behind Shia Labeouf, watching Shia Labeouf cringe and sink into his seat, then falling asleep for a minute, waking up, noticing Shia has left his seat, and turning my head to see Shia Labeouf passed out on the ground next to me. Then, when some fan tried to wake him up, he aggressively pulled a jacket over his head. He did not want to see Transformers 2.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
the cinematic equivalent of mike bay drinking a handle of tito's and taking a couple tabs of acid and then puking all over himself and your mom
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) - Movie Review
Transformers revenge of the fallen is a fun popcorn flick that of do think is more fun and more entertaining than the first transformers film, but as a film I think the first one is better but to be honest all 4 of the Transformers movies are pretty bad but there fun and entertaining they have cool action scenes and fun eye popping visuals and such, and they also have some of the coolest scores in film in personal opinion so that is way they are called guilty pleasure.
Transformers revenge of the fallen gets a lot of hate, and I completely understand that and where there coming from there a…
I saw this movie a few years ago and don't remember a damn thing about it, and I'm better for it. I think there were some pyramids? I don't care. All I remember is this profound feeling of just wanting to leave. You know when you were a kid and you wanted to get home to play your new video game or whatever and you're at the grocery store with your mom and she saw her friend there, and she struck up a long-ass conversation about insurance or some shit and you're just sitting there jumping up and down silently begging to leave? Yeah. That's how I felt.
Doslovno sam dobio rak mozga.
The most popular film of 2009 that I had not seen
Megan Fox is hot and then some robots fight some other robots and there are also some really annoying robots and then Megan Fox drives a motorcycle and then some stuff blowed up real good and then it repeats for the last 2 hours of the film until almost everything was blowed up real good and then my tolerance for any more Transformers was blowed up real good and then the end. Finally.
Y I K E S
This is the only movie that I've ever walked out of
I am directly below the enemy scrotum.
I'm gonna be frank.
I fucking love Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
I love how weird and stupid it is.
Early on, there's a smash cut from Optimus Prime shooting a Decepticon in the face to two dogs sitting on a couch and it's the greatest thing ever.
The characters in Michael Bay movies treat each other like shit all the time and it's fucking amazing.
Pacing and consistency are for plebs. This is fucking Michael Bay.
18 inches of meat.
Suck my Popsicle!
It was like being humped on the neck by a mountain ox!
How many times can you get tazed in the nuts before you can't have kids?
150 minutes of shit going boom in the coolest way.
I watched this movie in 2009 and gave it a D+.
This is my 8th movie overall watched and my 2nd movie watched in theaters.