Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Why is this movie so bad? How about the charisma vacuum that is Shia Leboeuf. How about indistiguishable robots. How about unwatchable fight scenes featuring indistinguishable robots. How about Sams "Hilarious parents". How about racist Autobots. How about Megan Fox being treated like a sex doll, bent over a bike with a shot so invasive you can see what she had for breakfast that morning. How about an old age robot who - for some unknown reason - suffers from flatulence. How about a "hilarious" midget joke. How about Devastators wrecking ball testicles. How about the fact that this film is called 'Revenge Of The Fallen' when there's no revenge by The Fallen whatsoever, and when this "Uber-Transformer" does eventually gets off his metal arse, he's killed within two fucking minutes. Truly abysmal. I think giving this piece of shit one star is incredibly generous, but they caught me in a good mood. Well done.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
Review In A Nutshell:
Another visit has shown that I was too over-critical of my previous review.
Behind all of its critical backlash and shallow-minded viewers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a gem that pushes the capabilities of its audience; providing a storyline that demands intense concentration due to its remarkable depth and swift, but precise editing. Bay puts it all on screen in an almost kind-of barrage to the senses, but if one simply lets themselves go, a sense of euphoria could be felt, one that taps into our childish imaginations and desperation for hard-hitting adrenaline. Sure there are instances where the characters themselves are taken too seriously, distracting us from the intense carnage that surrounds them, but…
Although Revenge of the Fallen has a somewhat slow start and the humor is just awful at certain points it's still a great piece of entertainment. Enough Bayhem and Baysplosion to make every action fan geek out on. Bay knows what the audience wants from a movie he does but sadly doesn't know what we don't want. We don't care about baby booties or dogs humping or a mother that gets high on spacecake. Certainly doesn't do well in the humor part. Luckily Bay picked that up and isn't that much there in the sequels. That's my only real problem i had with Revenge of the Fallen as the rest is just entertaining as hell. The Story is a little…
There they go again trying to make the humans important.
This movie was like two separate entries for me.
Part A was quite enjoyable and starts off well. Witwicky is going to college and leaves Bumblebee and comely Mikaela behind. He unwittingly gets infected by a shard of Decepticon technology and starts writing cryptic gibberish in notebooks. His roomate thinks he's crazy. A hot chick (Isabel Lucas) who is hitting on him at the college is not who she appears to be. Mikaela visits and gets mad at Witwicky when she catches him with said hot chick in a compromising position. Then all hell breaks loose!!
Part B is the ensuing melee that brings Autobots and Decepticons back into fight mode. Not that that's the problem. The real mess is…
Putrid noise made by a man-child for man-children.
little black-face transformers and a big transformers with balls- these are examples as to why this film is a piece of shit.
The infantilization of the sequel killed this franchise. Everything that went wrong with the decently enjoyable first one was amped up to max here, not even the special effects were good, and editing is more unbearable than ever.
It's not completely horrible because it had moments of self-consciousness (which was fun), the beginning was entertaining enough and Bay knows, for the most part, how to shot an action scene.
Perhaps there's no real value to this movie other than the sheer sociopathic, alienated perspective it has, which is fascinating to watch.
Eu acho que realizadores como Michael Bay ou Roland Emmerich são necessários. Quando não me sinto com disposição de ver algo que requer a minha concentração, eu fico com uma forte vontade de ver qualquer coisa que envolva explosões, destruição total, pessoas a morrer desnecessariamente e sem alguém se importar, etc.
Recentemente eu vi o primeiro Transformers e achei-o estupidamente hilariante. E as cenas de ação... é lindo ver aquilo, pelo menos quanto a mim.
Então, eu tive a oportunidade de ver o segundo filme, e estava com essa disposição. E quanto às cenas de ação é um autêntico deslumbre de se visualizar... Agora, quanto ao plot, aquilo que era tão estúpido que era bom, muda para uma estupidez horrível de se acompanhar.
Mas, que se lixe o plot! Michael Bay é sobre explosões, e é para isso que vejo os seus filmes. Ele é um artista, haha!
I'd love to see more of these stories. REALLY entertaining stuff. If anyone has some, send away.
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