Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Why is this movie so bad? How about the charisma vacuum that is Shia Leboeuf. How about indistiguishable robots. How about unwatchable fight scenes featuring indistinguishable robots. How about Sams "Hilarious parents". How about racist Autobots. How about Megan Fox being treated like a sex doll, bent over a bike with a shot so invasive you can see what she had for breakfast that morning. How about an old age robot who - for some unknown reason - suffers from flatulence. How about a "hilarious" midget joke. How about Devastators wrecking ball testicles. How about the fact that this film is called 'Revenge Of The Fallen' when there's no revenge by The Fallen whatsoever, and when this "Uber-Transformer" does eventually gets off his metal arse, he's killed within two fucking minutes. Truly abysmal. I think giving this piece of shit one star is incredibly generous, but they caught me in a good mood. Well done.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
Actually didn't hate it as much as everyone else. But a lot of my enjoyment was ironic.
Michael Bay's yearly supply of Ritalin must have run out... For this movie marks his highest achievement in spastic, hyperactive direction. The action is so relentless, even the romantic "slow" scenes feature multiple lens doing spiraling 360s while the actors speed-talk in rapid-fire snaps blinded by non-stop surface glares and high-rate sun flashes. When the transformer fighting begins, there is nothing to contemplate but an absurd number of hyper-detailed yet blurry amalgam of polygons in psychotically diverse movement that will give no rest to your eyes as they struggle to keep up and focus for the 2 hours and a half of eyeball gymnastics... No merciful rest whatsoever all the way throughout (perhaps so you wouldn't have a moment to…
Stupid, mindless, and all around lazy, Transformers 2 goes down as one of the worst sequels of all time along with Batman & Robin and Battle for the Planet of the Apes.
A complete failure on almost every level, this is a contender for the worst script of all time.
Bloated, offensive and pointless, this sequel is Michael Bay’s ego personified in film form and its ugly, chaotic and just plain wrong.
best film ever
Review In A Nutshell:
How can one fall so far down from the, at least, above average quality of the original back in 2007? Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is one of the worst sequels I have ever seen in my life, there are so many things wrong with this film that the fact that I have sat through this twice in my lifetime is damn shameful; I guess I was naïve to think that the film could grow on me through a second viewing, and with more than half of the time that is the case, but with Revenge of the Fallen, I was left disappointed time and time again, with what was given to me on screen. Even…
There are times, not always but there are times, when I consider this the worst film that I have ever seen.
Revenge of the Fallen is a wonder to behold based on its sheer ineptitude. It's almost as if Michael Bay set out to make the most cliched and stereotypical Michael Bay film that he could, and even then decided to do it in a halfass way. Every single frame of this abomination is an assault to good taste.
You could write a novel of everything that sinks this film right from the get go. In short, it takes the two worst elements of the first film and expands on them. Namely, it gives a larger role to the insufferable…
My favorite part of this was Bumblebee for whom I started to develop a real sympathy which is strange because he's a machine but I think that's what the movie intended.
I'd love to see more of these stories. REALLY entertaining stuff. If anyone has some, send away.
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