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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Why is this movie so bad? How about the charisma vacuum that is Shia Leboeuf. How about indistiguishable robots. How about unwatchable fight scenes featuring indistinguishable robots. How about Sams "Hilarious parents". How about racist Autobots. How about Megan Fox being treated like a sex doll, bent over a bike with a shot so invasive you can see what she had for breakfast that morning. How about an old age robot who - for some unknown reason - suffers from flatulence. How about a "hilarious" midget joke. How about Devastators wrecking ball testicles. How about the fact that this film is called 'Revenge Of The Fallen' when there's no revenge by The Fallen whatsoever, and when this "Uber-Transformer" does eventually gets off his metal arse, he's killed within two fucking minutes. Truly abysmal. I think giving this piece of shit one star is incredibly generous, but they caught me in a good mood. Well done.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
My favorite part of this movie was sitting behind Shia Labeouf, watching Shia Labeouf cringe and sink into his seat, then falling asleep for a minute, waking up, noticing Shia has left his seat, and turning my head to see Shia Labeouf passed out on the ground next to me. Then, when some fan tried to wake him up, he aggressively pulled a jacket over his head. He did not want to see Transformers 2.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
I'd almost prefer this to be a college rom-com minus the transformers.
I think I'd love it even more if they were gremlins instead. I just don't know! I want to like transformers, but I'm getting a little bored! It's too long.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen offers impressive visual effects and some undeniably incredible action scenes, but it's nowhere near enough to make up for its atrocious script, nonsensical and beyond lazy storytelling, cringe-worthy performances, and terribly-written characters that plague it's headache inducing, overstuffed, 150 minute runtime.
Auch ganz gut
I'm trying to figure out if I liked this one more than the first. I liked how it's more formal and focused on the military activity than the first, but the faux-Spielberg touches come off cornier in this one than the first one, even if they're fewer in this film. The romantic sub-plot is astonishingly lazy, for one. From what I've heard, the third and fourth films downplay, if not completely get rid of the elements I'm complaining about, so I'll still keep an open mind.
This movie is good for one thing and one thing only. To test, tune and make sure that your soundsystem is working well.
Bumblebee is super cute!
So. Long. I almost never fall asleep or feel sleepy when I watched a movie because I think it's disrespectful to the filmmaker but this movie almost did it for me. I can't understand how a movie filled with robots and action and special effects could be this boring. There's no heart, only robots that we don't care about. Pacific Rim showed us that movies about robot can still be awesome and cool and entertaining.
500 DIFFERENT FILMS IN 2016
Transformers:Revenge of the Fallen
More explosions and awkward humor, works for me.
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