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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Why is this movie so bad? How about the charisma vacuum that is Shia Leboeuf. How about indistiguishable robots. How about unwatchable fight scenes featuring indistinguishable robots. How about Sams "Hilarious parents". How about racist Autobots. How about Megan Fox being treated like a sex doll, bent over a bike with a shot so invasive you can see what she had for breakfast that morning. How about an old age robot who - for some unknown reason - suffers from flatulence. How about a "hilarious" midget joke. How about Devastators wrecking ball testicles. How about the fact that this film is called 'Revenge Of The Fallen' when there's no revenge by The Fallen whatsoever, and when this "Uber-Transformer" does eventually gets off his metal arse, he's killed within two fucking minutes. Truly abysmal. I think giving this piece of shit one star is incredibly generous, but they caught me in a good mood. Well done.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
Incomprehensible rubbish really.
Lungo quanto un serial tv, pieno zeppo di problemini adolescenziali e comicità per bambini Transformers 2 non vale manco la metà del primo.
Delightfully obnoxious! I hated the first Transformers and tolerated the third, but I absorbed every second of Bayhem in this middle chapter like a sponge.
The first Transformers movie was just pure, destructive, enjoyable mayhem that made me feel like a kid. Minus the opening sequence and two or three funny lines, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is a major step down and damn near unwatchable.
A huge step down from the first film, Revenge of the Fallen takes kick ass action sequences and incredible visuals, and then proceeds to smother them under horrible acting, fucking horrendous writing, a shitty narrative, and a terrible sense of humor.
KEEP OUT (still not as bad as the third one, though (because this one has Megan Fox on it)).
To my knowledge, there was no "The Fallen" in the original Transformers universe, and adding this boring character and plotline did nothing to make this movie a non-turd.
There is a "mean people suck" joke in "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." A "mean people suck" joke in 2009. That is probably all you need to know about what an embarrassment the script is.
Everything bad about the first movie turned up to 11. Michael Bay really needs to give it a rest. I've had enough of this junk.
- The Racket
- 7th Heaven
- Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans
- Chang: A Drama of the Wilderness
- The Abyss
- All About Steve
- Alvin and the Chipmunks
I'd love to see more of these stories. REALLY entertaining stuff. If anyone has some, send away.
Also, anything mentioning…
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- Near Dark
- The Lost Boys
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