Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
This is like a showcase for everything that is wrong with Michael Bay. Noisy explosions drowning out human and CGI-characters. Action scenes so disorienting you can't make out who is hitting who, or what is crashing into where.
Not to mention the endless repeating of same camera angles, like his famous spinning shot, until he is just flogging a dead horse. Here it's not so much camera angles for the sake of visual storytelling, it's just dashing camera angles to show everyone you can stage dashing camera angles.
Michael, we know already.
O' how far thou hast fallen.
See my review of the first film because all of my original points still apply.
But things get worse here. It's even more stupid and the final battle makes you feel as though you've been in the middle of a really excessive warzone accompanied by PTSD with only the slimmest story to set it in context.
The humour here is even worse: the kitchen bots are embarrassing, the Twins are cringeworthy and the dog/robot humping scenes have the particular honour of being infantile and yet strangely inappropriate for a younger audience.
I feel really sorry for ILM because the effects must have taken ages but it's all done in support of a rubbish story that has even more MacGuffins (that no-one cares about) and even more characters (that no-one cares about) than the first. It just messes things up even further. Terrible.
This film was balls ... Literally giant combination giant deception robot balls. Oh, and then dog humping. Then more dog humping. Then a mini robot humping a leg.
Don't see this movie.
watching this film made me feel like a decepticon's wrecking balls
More or less the same. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen has cool ideas that are uninteresting once taken action, really dull characters and lame transformers.
The only thing I think made this movie better than the original is that the look and movements in the Transformers looked a lot better. More mechanical and almost felt like Go-Motion which gives it a cinematic feel as opposed to clunky CGI. But once again the action scenes are fun but are long.
Nothing special, nothing crazy. A movie about big fighting robots shouldn't feel like this.
Michael Bay needs to stop. Please, just stop making films.
Similar plot and action to the first movie. Nothing out of the ordinary besides the awesome budget-blowing special effects.
Worse than the first, horrible, garbage, Michael Bay.
- The Racket
- 7th Heaven
- Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans
- Chang: A Drama of the Wilderness
- The Abyss
- All About Steve
- Alvin and the Chipmunks
I'd love to see more of these stories. REALLY entertaining stuff. If anyone has some, send away.
Also, anything mentioning…
- The Hunger
- Fright Night
- Near Dark
- The Lost Boys
If you owned your very own movie theater and got to program the films it exhibited as you desired, what…