Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Why is this movie so bad? How about the charisma vacuum that is Shia Leboeuf. How about indistiguishable robots. How about unwatchable fight scenes featuring indistinguishable robots. How about Sams "Hilarious parents". How about racist Autobots. How about Megan Fox being treated like a sex doll, bent over a bike with a shot so invasive you can see what she had for breakfast that morning. How about an old age robot who - for some unknown reason - suffers from flatulence. How about a "hilarious" midget joke. How about Devastators wrecking ball testicles. How about the fact that this film is called 'Revenge Of The Fallen' when there's no revenge by The Fallen whatsoever, and when this "Uber-Transformer" does eventually gets off his metal arse, he's killed within two fucking minutes. Truly abysmal. I think giving this piece of shit one star is incredibly generous, but they caught me in a good mood. Well done.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
My favorite part of this movie was sitting behind Shia Labeouf, watching Shia Labeouf cringe and sink into his seat, then falling asleep for a minute, waking up, noticing Shia has left his seat, and turning my head to see Shia Labeouf passed out on the ground next to me. Then, when some fan tried to wake him up, he aggressively pulled a jacket over his head. He did not want to see Transformers 2.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
One of the worst sequels of all time! While the first movie was fun and entertaining, this movie is the exact opposite! Underplotted, overlong, filled with irritating characters, choppy editing, lifeless action sequences, and just not fun to watch overall.
Often times I wonder why so many people hate this installment -- I actually think its the best of the franchise. It has more action, better choreography, better CGI, better plot, more vehicles, and more weapons tan the first film, and yet for some reason people will still make it a point to tell you that this one sucks. I highly advise you to give this one another chance.
I'm aware the parents arent funny and the whole side plot of Sam going to college isn't funny, but the rest of the movie is so kick ass. Optimus now has a gun and wings and the fight sequences are to die for. The one in the woods? Forget about it -- beautifully done, especially when the blu-ray goes from widescreen to full screen IMAX.
Bayformers come back...
CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO LIKE THIS SEQUEL TO AN UNDERRATED GEM AND IT'S SO UNBELIEVEY STUPID AND NO IT DOES NOT HAVE ANY ACTION-PACKED SCENES
BUHMBALBEEEE!! Directed by Michael Bay, this 150-minute sci-fi action adventure follows Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), after leaving the Autobots for a normal life, starting to see cryptic symbols in his mind. The Decepticons target him and drag him back into the Transformers’ war. That last sentence is the equivalent of this movie experience. Bay has targeted the audience and is dragging them back into more absurdity. Good grief, what a mess. Who would have thought that this could have been worse? There’s more exploiting Megan Fox, more insentive racism (see Skids and Mudflap), and an even more complicated story. This is the laziest form of directing I’ve ever witnessed. It’s been confirmed that Bay reused shots not only from the…
1.5/10. To think this isn't even the worst movie of the series anymore. It's not funny. The action isn't good. Characters are terrible. Script is godawful. Evertyhing bad has been said about it already. I think no different. It's terrible.
It is either a 5 Star Ultra Trash Movie or a 1 Star Trainwreck. Still not certain.
I'd love to see more of these stories. REALLY entertaining stuff. If anyone has some, send away.
Also, anything mentioning…