Every film that has ever been nominated for an Academy Award in any category. Enjoy!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Revenge is coming.
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
Stare into the abyss that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it blankly smiles back at you with slutty eye candy, repetitive repetition (I mean this can't actually even have a real script!), casual offensiveness and brain cell-killing mayhem; it's a true number two.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Why is this movie so bad? How about the charisma vacuum that is Shia Leboeuf. How about indistiguishable robots. How about unwatchable fight scenes featuring indistinguishable robots. How about Sams "Hilarious parents". How about racist Autobots. How about Megan Fox being treated like a sex doll, bent over a bike with a shot so invasive you can see what she had for breakfast that morning. How about an old age robot who - for some unknown reason - suffers from flatulence. How about a "hilarious" midget joke. How about Devastators wrecking ball testicles. How about the fact that this film is called 'Revenge Of The Fallen' when there's no revenge by The Fallen whatsoever, and when this "Uber-Transformer" does eventually gets off his metal arse, he's killed within two fucking minutes. Truly abysmal. I think giving this piece of shit one star is incredibly generous, but they caught me in a good mood. Well done.
For a few minutes, I was starting to wonder if maybe I had judged this thing a little too harshly. Then there were literally 135 more minutes, most of them as shitty as a used diaper.
I am trying to find nice things to say about TRANSFORMERS 2. At least it's a wee bit more focused than the first movie, which has at least a half a dozen main characters and four different plots all going at once. There are, as always with Bay, some truly impressive visuals. Some of the character designs are legitimately impressive. And, y'know what? I kind of like Megan Fox. She's sort of charming in the rare moments Bay actually lets her speak.
Otherwise? It's not good, okay? It's. Just. Not. Good.
My favorite part of this movie was sitting behind Shia Labeouf, watching Shia Labeouf cringe and sink into his seat, then falling asleep for a minute, waking up, noticing Shia has left his seat, and turning my head to see Shia Labeouf passed out on the ground next to me. Then, when some fan tried to wake him up, he aggressively pulled a jacket over his head. He did not want to see Transformers 2.
famously a strike picture and filmed around its injured star, its authorship given almost exclusively over to Michael Bay, this is what happens when you let him jerry-rig a $200 million tentpole. utterly shapeless mayhem, lurching, leaping from one explosion of excess to the next, blissfully and almost antagonistically unself-conscious, a diamond forced into existence by a kryptonite-poisoned Superman's fist. not only does this feature a gigantic parachute-farting alien robot disguised as a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, it is also packed with the as-yet-unrivaled densest, most ostentatiously near-abstract frames (and some of the most beautiful and plastic and destructive) of Bay's career, and it is a glorious cacophony of burning chrome, corporate manifest destiny, and shitty gay jokes. the finale takes place (and was actually filmed) atop the Great Pyramid of Giza, just because. this is what Milton meant when he wrote that the Devil saw how awful goodness was, except that Bay feels no loss of virtue to pine.
Teenage boy becomes a man and goes to college. He soon discovers that life at college can be difficult and maintaining a relationship with his girlfriend is hard.
The Transformers guest star in this movie and there are a few cameos by some explosions.
Okay, guys, so, like, I REALLY FUCKING LOVE THE TRANSFORMERS MOVIES.
Like, if my Future Wife told me to choose between her or the Transformers movies, I would tell her to ROLL OUT.
So this movie gets a loooooooot of shit and it really gets on my nerves. There are so many fun moments and characters and its such a freaking THRILL RIDE. Guys, its a TRANSFORMERS movie. I do not aspire for any Shakespearean levels of narrative poetry. I came to watch good robots fight bad robots, Shia Labeouf's adorable charisma, Megan Fox's acting, the same Green Day song played in two different scenes of the movie, and John Turturro's ass cheeks. I will forever be a teenage boy…
The second worst movie I've seen in a theater.
I saw this in theaters without seeing the original. (!?)
Michael Bay must study Tantra. Longest climax ever. #8wordsorless
Después de una primera entrega sosainas y fuertemente apadrinada por Spielberg y en medio de una huelga de guionistas que nos dio un par de veranos de gloriosa vergüenza ajena llegan 150 minutos de perros follando, de un minorobot que se folla la pierna de Megan Fox, de Shia Labeouf poniendo caras de intensidad mientras le revelan un código alienigena mentalmente, del culo de John Turturro, del culo de Isabel Lucas - plano importantisimo donde se revela que ella también es un robot, algo que podíamos sospechar de antemano porque Lucas no puede ser completamente humana - de robots racistas, de la madre de Labeouf comiendo pasteles de maría y placando universitarios, de un robot flatulento y salivante procedente de…
Next to Batman and Robin, this is probably the most picked on movie in history. When people hear bad movies, they usually jump to this one as an example.
It's not good, it is loaded with problems. It's got a few lapses in direction and to say this movie's script is horrific is an understatement. With all that being said, I don't think it is quite as bad as people make it out to be. Honestly, I believe the 3rd one is by far worse than this. I'll get to that eventually.
I guess the reason I am way more forgiving on this movie is because it has a legitimate excuse for it's poor writing. It was written during a…
A sloppy mess. The first wasn't great to begin with but it was fun. This is so messed up that I'm not even sure it acknowledges the first one. Soooo inconsistent.
This movie helped me with my insomnia, I don't even like Transformers comics and I feel like I have to be offended.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
The forest fight is the best scene in movie but then they kill Optimus there fucking up the one really good moment in movie. Really hate this movie cause feels like giant toy ad with all the thrown away characters and just a disappointment after the first one.
i hate em! check the notes for explanations