xXx
Synopsis
A New Breed Of Secret Agent.
Xander Cage is your standard adrenaline junkie with no fear and a lousy attitude. When the US Government "recruits" him to go on a mission, he's not exactly thrilled. His mission: to gather information on an organization that may just be planning the destruction of the world, led by the nihilistic Yorgi.
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Worst porn ever.
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For the record I've only liked one Vin Diesel film. It's called Find Me Guilty. If you are not a fan of the ridiculous action films he's known for seek it out it's actually really good.
Now for my thoughts on this film. I only watched it back in 2002 because I used to work with a lady who was really into movies so we'd swap DVD's back and forth. I didn't expect to like it because as a rule I hate mindless action film and XXX is just that mindless action. Pretty much every action sequence is implausible especially one involving a motorcycle jump and gunfire that almost made me turn it the fuck off. I suffered through it…
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Seriously Mr. Diesel. Marry me already!
Oh, and this film rocks.. whatever... Feuer Frei? -
The extremely misleading title only serves to reinforce this cruelty-masquerading-as-a-movie's status as the Anti-Awesome.
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xXx is a really, really, really stupid movie.
Like, really fucking stupid.
For the first 30 minutes, this is a good thing. The pure and utter stupidity of the film achieved a sort of manic bliss. Free of logic of any sort, it's was one of the weirdest and most fun movies I'd seen in a long time.
And then about 30 minutes in the rush of that inanity had worn of and the movie began to settle down. It was still dumb as fuck, it just became dumb as fuck in a much smaller way. Which was incredibly boring. For the next 90 minutes. Yay.
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the only FUCK you'll end up getting from XXX is the one you say when you realize just how painful it is.
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Funnily enough, Diesel is always remembered for the Fast & Furious franchise, but I actually liked this more than any of them. A 007 adventure for the Playstation generation.
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An overload of stereotypes towards the russians, Diesel rail-sliding with a platter, insanely bad acting, Diesel rail-sliding with a fucking platter, ... no.
Taking this film seriously will not result into you having a good time. I started to see the comedy in this a few minutes in, and ended up laughing the whole time, although that probably wasn't the director's intention.
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So it's flawed as hell but do I give a shit?!
Vin Diesel makes a good lead action hero but some of the lines in this are pretty abysmal.
The redeeming factors lie in some pretty impressive stunts, a hilarious scene with Danny Trejo ("funny guy!") and Samuel L Jackson with his scarface.
Plus, it's the first ever DVD I bought so it remains in my guilty pleasure list
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The extremely misleading title only serves to reinforce this cruelty-masquerading-as-a-movie's status as the Anti-Awesome.
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xXx is a really, really, really stupid movie.
Like, really fucking stupid.
For the first 30 minutes, this is a good thing. The pure and utter stupidity of the film achieved a sort of manic bliss. Free of logic of any sort, it's was one of the weirdest and most fun movies I'd seen in a long time.
And then about 30 minutes in the rush of that inanity had worn of and the movie began to settle down. It was still dumb as fuck, it just became dumb as fuck in a much smaller way. Which was incredibly boring. For the next 90 minutes. Yay.
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Gorman from Aliens got a demotion then?
Cunt of an adrenaline junkie who "don't sell out" proceeds to sell out by getting a government job. Tries to prove he likes women by making out with one but fails to look like he's enjoying it.
This is pretty dire. Worse than I remembered.
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What can I say, I liked it. Stupid fun.
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Fine action
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This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.