I work at a movie theater and patrons mess up movie titles all the time. Here are some of the…
Did You Remember To Lock Your Door?
When the Davison family comes under attack during their wedding anniversary getaway, the gang of mysterious killers soon learns that one of their victims harbors a secret talent for fighting back.
Finally, the Home Alone sequel we deserve.
Just your typical family gathering until three fucked-up psychos in creepy fuckin animal masks crash the party. A lousy fuck. A Nostradamus-esque warning. The same song on fuckin repeat. An Aussie beauty with survivalist skills. Family dinner. Arrow to the face. A Chariots of Fire moment ends with a gush. Don't you know to never say "I'll be right back." A surprise under the bed. The brother that just want die. Wanting to fuck in the creepiest of places. Fuckin with the wrong teacher's assistant. Bashing a fucker's skull. A Scream like twist. Blender ownage. Knife in skull. The wrong person answers the right call. Squished piggy. A score John Carpenter would be proud of. Low-budget horror done just right. I'll take this over The Conjuring or Evil Dead anyday.
I can't write film reviews. Aw, I suck. Fuck me, right? Well I've done a bit of research and I've found myself a Wiki guide on how to write a successful review! Yay me! Yay Internet! So here is what Wiki has to say;
1: Gather basic facts about the movie. You can do this before or after you watch the movie, but you should definitely do it before you write the review, because you'll need to weave the facts into your review as you write. Here's what you need to know:
The title of the film, and the year it came out.
The director's name.
The names of the lead actors.
2: Take notes on the movie…
I stuck a blender on his head and killed him.
Wow. I honestly didn't expect to come out of the theater tonight so entertained by the wonderfully blended tonic of blood, chills and laughs that You're Next served up with confidence and craft.
Coming out of a theater pleased and fulfilled is a rare experience these days.
Next to The Conjuring I'd say this is one of the best horror films we are likely to get all year. Sitting down in the theater before it started, I would've laughed if my future self told me this was a 9/10 film I was about to see. Or an 8/10 one at that. Well I guess the simple genius behind You're Next…
In the last few months I’ve read so many conflicting reports about Adam Wingard’s home invasion slasher, from those hailing it as the saviour of the genre to others moaning about its derivative plotting. Having finally watched the film I’m not sure I agree with either meaning it’s an enjoyable and twisting ride but doesn’t necessarily linger long in the memory.
You’re Next is set during the Davison’s family reunion celebrating the parents’ 35th wedding anniversary. Things quickly turn sour, first with the bitterness festering within the family and then when masked intruders begin bludgeoning the guests to death. Wingard and scriptwriter, Simon Barrett, stick faithfully to the slasher formula with its resourceful final girl (Sharni Vinson proving to be…
Not your typical generic horror home invasion movie...If there's a 70+ year old woman who's by herself in your theater and she's getting into it, it's gotta be good. Right?
As many others have stated in their reviews, going into this I really didn't know what to expect. The acting was SO bad. The film was unintentionally funny because of how poor the acting was; you couldn't help but to laugh at times. Maybe that was the plan the director had. Seriously as times it was hilarious. I was expecting this to be really scary, but it honestly wasn't. A few jump scares got me, but I was never in a state of fear. I did feel extreme tension during…
no i'm not.
Hoop-Tober Movie #25
I will write here the same recommendation that I've been giving to people for the past few days in regards to You're Next:
"So it's this movie about a home invasion, but I can't go to much into it. It's kind of like Home Alone but rated R, and it's like...Have you ever seen a slasher movie?
No, not Halloween, anything else?
Well, its kind of like that but can be a lot stranger at times, bordering on the disturbing.
How much blood? Let's say...less than Saw, more than Insidious. But there is some gore but it's funny.
Yeah, really funny. Like really dark, but really funny. You might not get it, but if you do it's…
Well, it was a better Straw Dogs remake than the Straw Dogs remake, anyway.
This was a lot of fun. I liked that there was a man with a crossbow in a sheep mask, and that there were two twists I genuinely did not see coming.
The first third or so of this film is a poorly acted bore, but once the killings ensue things get to be pretty fun, thanks almost entirely to the wonderful Sharni Vinson.
While there are many dysfunctional families in this world and in film, few are as entertaining to watch (die) as the Davisons.
Coming together after what appears to be some lengthy period of time, the Davison clan settle in for a nice family dinner only to be interrupted by a maniac wielding a crossbow. That's when the family pulls together and actual concern crosses their faces as they try to keep each other safe and alive. Still, with that much resentment and narcissism percolating between them, it's only a matter of time before the bickering resumes. And the bloodletting.
Happily, nearly every family member gets his or her chance to shine, with either some well written quips or by doing…
YOU'RE NEXT mixes scares, brutal violence, and twisted laughs resulting in a horror flick that is both sadistic and ridiculously fun.
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Still a pretty fun horror flick with a great score and some terrible performances besides Sharni Vinson's (here's looking at you Joe Swanberg). Though I do believe this could've been even better if they took their casting more serious and not just hire a couple of friends, and traded the whole handheld aesthetic for some proper thought out camera placement.
- Django Unchained
- The Wolf of Wall Street
- The Dark Knight
- 12 Years a Slave
- The Grand Budapest Hotel
- 13 Sins
- 100 Bloody Acres
- The ABCs of Death
Friends often ask me to recommend indie horror films on Netflix Instant. (American Netflix, sorry!) Now I can just send…
- Beasts of the Southern Wild
- Lilya 4-Ever
- Life Is Beautiful
- Dancer in the Dark
- Christiane F.
My six hundred favorite films (1940-2014); 618-653 are not ordered yet.