I work at a movie theater and patrons mess up movie titles all the time. Here are some of the…
Did You Remember To Lock Your Door?
When the Davison family comes under attack during their wedding anniversary getaway, the gang of mysterious killers soon learns that one of their victims harbors a secret talent for fighting back.
Finally, the Home Alone sequel we deserve.
Just your typical family gathering until three fucked-up psychos in creepy fuckin animal masks crash the party. A lousy fuck. A Nostradamus-esque warning. The same song on fuckin repeat. An Aussie beauty with survivalist skills. Family dinner. Arrow to the face. A Chariots of Fire moment ends with a gush. Don't you know to never say "I'll be right back." A surprise under the bed. The brother that just want die. Wanting to fuck in the creepiest of places. Fuckin with the wrong teacher's assistant. Bashing a fucker's skull. A Scream like twist. Blender ownage. Knife in skull. The wrong person answers the right call. Squished piggy. A score John Carpenter would be proud of. Low-budget horror done just right. I'll take this over The Conjuring or Evil Dead anyday.
I can't write film reviews. Aw, I suck. Fuck me, right? Well I've done a bit of research and I've found myself a Wiki guide on how to write a successful review! Yay me! Yay Internet! So here is what Wiki has to say;
1: Gather basic facts about the movie. You can do this before or after you watch the movie, but you should definitely do it before you write the review, because you'll need to weave the facts into your review as you write. Here's what you need to know:
The title of the film, and the year it came out.
The director's name.
The names of the lead actors.
2: Take notes on the movie…
I stuck a blender on his head and killed him.
Wow. I honestly didn't expect to come out of the theater tonight so entertained by the wonderfully blended tonic of blood, chills and laughs that You're Next served up with confidence and craft.
Coming out of a theater pleased and fulfilled is a rare experience these days.
Next to The Conjuring I'd say this is one of the best horror films we are likely to get all year. Sitting down in the theater before it started, I would've laughed if my future self told me this was a 9/10 film I was about to see. Or an 8/10 one at that. Well I guess the simple genius behind You're Next…
In the last few months I’ve read so many conflicting reports about Adam Wingard’s home invasion slasher, from those hailing it as the saviour of the genre to others moaning about its derivative plotting. Having finally watched the film I’m not sure I agree with either meaning it’s an enjoyable and twisting ride but doesn’t necessarily linger long in the memory.
You’re Next is set during the Davison’s family reunion celebrating the parents’ 35th wedding anniversary. Things quickly turn sour, first with the bitterness festering within the family and then when masked intruders begin bludgeoning the guests to death. Wingard and scriptwriter, Simon Barrett, stick faithfully to the slasher formula with its resourceful final girl (Sharni Vinson proving to be…
"I stuck a blender on his head and killed him."
This isn't quite the five star experience that I remember from almost a year ago, but it's still pretty fuckin' fun.
A group of ten people go to a mansion in the middle of Absolutely Fucking Nowhereville for some sort of family reunion. The patriarch and matriarch of the family are there as well as their children and their children's loved ones. Well, one of the children's loved ones is an attractive Australian woman named Erin. Erin is a woman you don't want to fuck with it because she'll beat your head in with a meat hammer.
Anyway, soon after the tensome arrive at the…
A surprisingly good and (at least I think intentionally) funny film, well made and well fun.
Intentionally plods around until whipping into breakneck speed, loudly disposing of a cast of mumblecore staples who look like they're having a blast being murdered so as to make way for a fitting heroine. Supplies horror fans both the gleefulness of being horrified by kills and the satisfaction of a heroine who is always effective and resourceful.
put off seeing this for no real reason. really enjoyed the shit out of it. total fun. its nice to see a horror movie that is beautifully shot.
You're Next is a competent horror with brazen comedic elements that is severely let down by its seemingly deliberate level of predictability.
HEY KIDS! Do you like Home Alone? Yes? Well, do you want more? Yes? Well, the sequels are shitty!!!! So lets watch this instead, it’s like Home Alone, but not for baby pussies who cry in every horror movie! Instead of a kid we have a bad ass woman, and instead of a friendly family movie we have corpses, blood, machetes, arrows, betrayal AND, horror movies favorite friend.. BOOBS!
Plus awkward conversations and sex near dead moms! What more could you want?
What’s that? I can’t listen to you over the sound of a blender destroying brains!
I love a good horror film, but this just does not deliver. Ladling on the gore and a bit of the old ultra-violence does not necessarily result in a scare fest, it can be just a gore fest. There was only one scene that made me jump. It is also helpful if the family under siege would react like normal people: pull together, set a plan, and stay away from the window through which arrows are flying. Had potential, but it just doesn't work. Don't waste your time.
You're next has a lot of fun with itself and pays tribute to classic slasher films from the 70s 80s and 90s. The whole time I found myself smiling or laughing. The whole thing is just a great time.
The twists are mostly transparent, especially if you've watched enough horror films. No surprise there. But this rules anyway for gleefully perpetuating the stereotype that Australia exists for the sole purpose of breeding shit that will kill you just for looking at it wrong. Also, kudos for featuring Larry Fessenden and Barbara Crampton, as well as reminding me about Dwight Twilley, power pop virtuoso. That song could just play on to eternity.
As a fan of horror movies, it doesn't take much to make me giggle.
It does, however, take a lot to impress me.
This film manages to do both by putting a slight twist on the typical home invasion story.
If you've seen Kidnapped or The Strangers, you know how good a movie in this genre can be, (and if you've seen these, you've also seen at least half a dozen others ranging from "eh" to "not good")
I'd rate this movie slightly above "eh" because it managed to keep me on the edge of my seat throughout.
Definitely worth a viewing.
- Django Unchained
- The Wolf of Wall Street
- The Dark Knight
- 12 Years a Slave
- The Grand Budapest Hotel
- 13 Sins
- 100 Bloody Acres
- All Cheerleaders Die
Friends often ask me to recommend indie horror films on Netflix Instant. (American Netflix, sorry!) Now I can just send…
- Beasts of the Southern Wild
- Lilya 4-Ever
- Life Is Beautiful
- Dancer in the Dark
- Christiane F.
My six hundred favorite films (1940-2014); 615-630 are not ordered yet.