Tonight I did a double feature. I saw Southpaw at 7 and Pixels at 9:35. However, the guy at the ticket counter thinks I saw Southpaw at both 7 and 9:35. I refuse to give Adam Sandler any of my money and I'm glad he didn't get my money because this movie fucking sucks.
Adam Sandler isn't even the worst thing about this movie, Peter Dinklage is. He was seriously so terrible. Why would you do this to yourself Peter Dinklage WHY!?
I kind of hate video games now. Fuck you Pixels. I'm going to go sell my Nintendo 64.
OK, so I didn't have any expectations for this, but considering how much I enjoyed the two Despicable Me installments, and especially the moments with the minions, I thought I would enjoy myself.
I made an unspeakable, vile, agonizing, shitty mistake.
From the opening Universal logo and theme, sung by the minions with their usual glee, I felt like I was beamed into a special corner of Hell, handcrafted and designed just for me. A headache instantly stung…
An evil terrorist has in his possession missiles of mass destruction. He's already shot down an airplane, and he's threatening to unleash his own version of the Evil Empire. So, what do you do if you're the U S of A? You bring in the boys who do the dirty work. The fellas who never get the credit they deserve. The macho maniacs, who do the very very bad bad things during the night, so the rest of us can…
It Follows. But what is It? Is it an embodiment of your guilt? Is it a reflection of your emptiness? Is it a representation of all that is lustful, desirous and odious within one's soul? A fleeting moment of passion, a momentary drive of heedlessness that can inflict, ail and haunt you for life. So, is it a realization of one's own regret caused by sexual waywardness? Does it follow only if the intercourse is driven by lust and is…
Magic Mike XXL is a putatively "modest"/"small" film — $14.8 million budget, 28-day shooting schedule, a shambling road movie meant to showcase extended musical numbers and largely excising the first film's recessionary panic. (Business is discussed, specifically the hustle of running a small business, but it's not the dominant throughline motivating everything as in the first, a line of inquiry Soderbergh pursued in Erin Brockovich, Bubble and The Girlfriend Experience, in ways that increasingly played like a meta-text about his…