Okay so before you watch this - which you should -, expect the following:
A bright-blonde Nic Cage escaping Hell in a muscle car, repeatedly being referred to as 'a badass motherfucker' by William Fichtner from the off.
If that wasn't enough, let me get you some more:
Your brain might randomly stop working throughout the film. Seriously, there is no need for it whatsoever.
If said brain IS somehow still running, you might shake your head in disbelief at some of the lines uttered. Literally, it happens.
You might also tip your metaphorical trash lover's hat at some of the lines uttered. Guaran-fucking-teed.
You might actually be surprised by how stylish and well-shot this piece of crap can be at times. No, not only the boob shots.
You might also realize that obviously doesn't go for any SFX. Which indeed isn't a bad thing at all.
You might feel the need to admit that Amber Heard really isn't as bad to look at. No competition to Nic Cage though, of course.
You might find Billy Burke delivering one of the coolest (and sadly, one-dimensional) villains in quite some time.
And lastly, you'll probably end up laughing your ass off over the general ridiculousness this gem of a b-flick so shamelessly displays.
A guilty pleasure, for sure, but for all this intends to be, it is perfect.
I love you, Nic Cage. Winky face.