review by Ryan
Battle Los Angeles 2011
Watched Apr 25, 2012
Ryan’s review:
Here are some alternate titles I came up with while watching this...
Lesson: How Not To Write Dialogue
Aaron Eckhart: Commanding Anonymous Morons
Cliche: The Movie
Exposition: It's Everywhere
Michelle Rodriguez: Best Thing About This Movie
Second Act: Better Than The First
ADHD: The Editor
Michael Pena: Can't Save This
Reminder: Of Everything That Is Happening Every 10 Seconds Via Dialogue.
Call of Duty: Is More Fulfilling
Moments: Some Aren't Bad
Third Act: Better Than First Two
Guilty Pleasure: Possibly?
Terrible Movie: Definitely
Awesome, man! Almost makes me want to watch it just for all your titles.
It's astonishing how they made a film with this much talent and potential so incredibly dull.
Feel free to add your own alternate titles!
I can't stress enough how horrible the experience of watching this garbage was.
I've seen much worse.
Terminator: Salvation, for example, makes me want to dry-hump a porcupine.
I found the action in Salvation at least tolerable (the helicopter crash was actually cool). I found nothing redeeming about Battle LA. It felt as punishing as the trailers for Act of Valor expect drawn out to painstaking length.
I'd rather eat a DVD copy of Battle: LA than have to watch Skyline again.
You can not justify Battle: Los Angles recieving 2 & a half stars and The Dark Knight recieving 1 & a half.
Battle LA knew it was dumb. TDK thinks it's the smartest thing since the guy who first thought to slice bread. So, yes, I can.
Your review on TDK seems awfully influenced by the fact that the majority of film critics and film fans alike think it is a really good movie. The fact you felt you needed to go into every little detail of the film and slate it proves this. You're completly entitled to your opinion, it's just frustrating to read something contrived and scathing.
It is to watch something, too.