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  • Ferris Bueller's Day Off

    Ferris Bueller's Day Off 1986

    ★★½ Watched 24 Nov, 2015

    Enjoyable with the theory/idea that the events of the story all take place inside Cameron's mind. Otherwise, it's just not that great. Almost every character is an asshole - Ferris most of all. I actually wanted him to get his comeuppance in the end, but that never happened.

    If you need an 80s teenage high-school John Hughes comedy fix, watch THE BREAKFAST CLUB instead.

  • Trading Places

    Trading Places 1983

    ★★★★ Watched 23 Nov, 2015

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Same problem as Coming to America, more or less - this film presents us with the theme that (I'm generalizing for brevity's sake) people with money are heartless assholes, but ends with a scene that disproves this notion. Nowhere did I see our two heroes learn the value of their riches, nor was there any scene or moment that demonstrated their generosity. In the end, they were the same as the two heartless assholes from Duke & Duke, living it up…

  • Night Moves

    Night Moves 2013

    ★★★ Watched 20 Nov, 2015 2

    First half is good. Second half is not. A few very out-of-character actions and a complete non-ending nearly ruin what was shaping up to be quite a solid slow-burn thriller.

  • Paprika

    Paprika 2006

    ★★★½ Watched 18 Nov, 2015

    Inception, if it was good.

    Beer: Left Hand Polestar Pilsner - 3.5/5 (very solid, but unremarkable; I can drink a lot of this and be happy)

  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

    The Grand Budapest Hotel 2014

    Watched 17 Nov, 2015 10

    I tried, but this sucks.

  • Coming to America

    Coming to America 1988

    ★★★★ Watched 13 Nov, 2015

    Great up until the insincere finish. The last exchange between Lisa and Akeem is rather contradictory of the indictment of gold-digging whores the film was working so hard to present. Otherwise, the movie is a treat.

    Beer: Left Hand Good Juju - 4/5 (good stuff, as per usual with Left Hand)

  • The Omen

    The Omen 1976

    ★★½ Watched 11 Nov, 2015

    Not very good.

    Beer: Stegmaier Octoberfest - 3.5/5 (decent for a local brew, but pales in comparison to international fare)

  • Spectre

    Spectre 2015

    ★★★ Watched 10 Nov, 2015 8

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Better than Skyfall.

    Not exceedingly good, mind you, but still better than Skyfall. And leagues more accomplished than QOS (read: POS), as well, but one can only assume shitting in reverse is also more pleasing than viewing that cinematic mistake.

    For starters, this actually *feels* like a Bond film. I pissed and moaned a lot about how Bond in Skyfall scarcely behaved as the James Bond character would, citing filmic evidence such as the movie's very plot questioning Bond's relevance…

  • Grabbers

    Grabbers 2012

    ★★★ Watched 08 Nov, 2015

    Dumb fun, but nothing special.

    Beer: Yuengling Lager - 3/5 (old standard, good enough when it's all you have)

  • Crimson Peak

    Crimson Peak 2015

    ★★★ Watched 07 Nov, 2015 2

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Why are there ghosts in this movie?

    For all of Guillermo del Toro's talents as a director, and creativity as a visual artist, he is not a very good writer. This movie has plenty of Screenwriting 101 mistakes - flaws in the storytelling that have no business being there and bring the impact and enjoyment of the film down noticeably. That's why they're taught in creative writing classes - because these things matter.

    This could have been quite excellent. All…

  • Watership Down

    Watership Down 1978

    ★★★★ Watched 05 Nov, 2015

    The world needs more animation like this.

  • The Machinist

    The Machinist 2004

    ★★½ Watched 04 Nov, 2015

    Discount Hitchcock. Predictable in many ways, somewhat clever in others. Ultimately, it's an okay movie, but nothing outstanding. I zoned out in the final third and only stuck around for the reveal. I won't be revisiting.