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  • Blade II

    Blade II 2002

    ★★★★ Rewatched 13 Jul, 2015 3

    "So B-man, what do you think?"
    "Sounds like a plan."
    "What do you really think?"
    "They're gonna fuck us the first chance they get."

    I don't know exactly why I started watching Blade II at 3am, my first watch in over 4 years, but I'm glad I did. For the first hour or so, I was pretty sure I was enjoying more than I did on the first go-round. Then Kris Kristofferson called Ron Perlman a "fucking nipplehead" and I…

  • Armageddon

    Armageddon 1998

    ★★★½ Rewatched 12 Jul, 2015 4

    "This is turning into a surrealistic nightmare!"

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  • Skyfall

    Skyfall 2012

    ★★★★★ Watched 10 Nov, 2012 7

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Okay, so this is gonna probably be a long rambling rant more than a review. Oh and there's going to be lots and spoilers so if you haven't seen it but are somehow seeing this, close your computer and drive to the theater and watch this right now. Oh, and pick me up some Mike & Ike's if they have them.

    So... I am not admittedly the biggest Bond fan in the world. This isn't because I don't enjoy the Bond…

  • Fast Five

    Fast Five 2011

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 27 Nov, 2012 3

    The idea to take a creatively stalled and uninteresting series which somehow managed four films with the world's most boring characters and a plot that collectively amount to "hey, cars are cool, aren't they?" and change that into an exciting, intriguing, fast-paced heist series that uses its obsession with cars to its advantage was probably the greatest stroke of genius of 2011.

    The characters don't get much development, but did you expect/want them to? Justin Lin and crew know where…