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  • Cinderella

    Cinderella 2015

    ★★★ Watched 26 Sep, 2015

    One big fat "meh!"

  • According to Greta

    According to Greta 2009

    Watched 17 Sep, 2015 2

    "WHY?!" you may ask.
    I just don't know anymore guys.

    Send help.

  • Southland Tales

    Southland Tales 2006

    ½ Watched 11 Sep, 2015 4

    How on earth did this guy (Richard Kelly) create something as brilliant as Donnie Darko, to then fly right off the page and stumble his way through this monstrosity? Does he have a secret twin? Possession? Body Invaders? ALIENS? HOW?

    They say that if you had a thousand monkeys typing away at a thousand typewriters over a thousand years, you'll eventually get something great, like Shakespeare. That may be true, but more likely than not most of what they produce…

  • Mulholland Drive

    Mulholland Drive 2001

    ★★ Watched 11 Sep, 2015 2

    *deep sigh* You know. Weird is fine. Strange is okay. Twisty is cool. But please for the love of God make some fucking sense!
    I'm NOT okay with this, this is NOT okay.
    Had it been ANY other director this film would have been ripped to pieces by everyone.
    This whole: "we'll just make shit up as we go along" is so fucking infuriating, especially after spending 2 hours of my life trying to understand something without deeper meaning.

  • Into the Woods

    Into the Woods 2014

    ★★ Watched 10 Sep, 2015 5

    Into the Woods looks pretty, with pretty actors, and pretty costumes, pretty CGI, and pretty well-written lyrics.
    Too bad the music is godawful!

  • Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey 2015

    ★★ Watched 27 Jun, 2015

    Honestly not as bad as I thought it would be... Still pretty bad though.

  • Coherence

    Coherence 2013

    ★★★★ Watched 25 Jun, 2015 3

    I seriously LOVE these parallel universe/time loop thrillers/horrors. Coherence reminded of another love of mine: Triangle.
    Do yourself a favour and watch this film asap!

  • Stitches

    Stitches 2012

    Watched 24 Jun, 2015 4

    Recommended by Peter Schubert.

    I am so sorry but I had to summon all my willpower to be able to watch this right through to the end (I use the term "watch" loosely).

    Let me start by saying that I like low budget horror films, they are my guilty pleasure in life. Now let me add, Stitches is utter rubbish.
    The people writing complementary reviews here I can only imagine are family members of Ross Noble, or actual actors in…

  • Exists

    Exists 2014

    ★★ Watched 23 Jun, 2015 1

    Recommended by Fish.

    I find myself continuously saying: I’m not a fan of the found footage genre. On the rare occasion something comes along that will prove me horribly wrong, one that actually pulls off something good, but for the most part they tend to get repetitive or present people so caught up in filming what’s happening to and around them that they become more of a joke or parody of themselves.

    A bunch of kids is going to a…

  • Resolution

    Resolution 2012

    ★★★ Watched 21 Jun, 2015 3

    Recommended by fatpie42.

    Chris is a crack addict who moves from place to place while feeding his addiction. Micheal is a friend trying to help Chris kick his habit weather he wants to or not. As the next week of their lives unfold, the two friends find out there's a lot more going on around them than just a drug intervention, something sinister is lurking.

    I have to give this film marks for originality, as well as creativity in both…

  • The Woman

    The Woman 2011

    ★★★½ Watched 18 Jun, 2015 2

    Recommended by fatpie42.

    My first impression of The Woman wasn't good. It felt disconnected, and awkward. The scenes just randomly jumped around on my screen, and for the awkwardness, well I still haven't decided whether it's all down to poor acting, or badly written dialogue.
    Either way, the film grew on me as it progressed. The last 20 minutes alone upped the quality tremendously.

    The Woman follows an abusive father, who one day captures a feral woman while hunting. He…

  • Hush

    Hush 2008

    ★★★ Watched 31 May, 2015 2

    Recommended by Fish.

    Tired and irritable, Zakes Abbott drives home along the motorway, his girlfriend, Beth, asleep beside him. Failing to spot his exit he speeds across the causeway, cutting up a truck and barely avoiding an accident. Apoplectic with rage, the truck driver gives chase, and as he violently overtakes the tailgate flips up revealing a woman bound and bloodied in the back.

    Hush is like a low budget British version of The Hitcher.

    Films sometimes trip themselves up…