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  • Unfriended

    Unfriended 2014

    ★★★ Watched 24 Mar, 2016 6

    “Take that shirt off, take that shirt off,” pleads Mitch.
    “Make me,” coos his girlfriend, Blaire.
    You see both their faces, close up, as they peer into their Skype screens. Mitch pulls out a large shiny blade. Her eyes go wide, she smiles and says, “You’re adorable and really sexy when you’re violent.”

    Ooo-kay.

    Unfriended is teen horror when it's best. If the plot seems too familiar.. then it's because it probably is, however the trick is new, a step…

  • The Visit

    The Visit 2015

    ★★ Watched 24 Mar, 2016 1

    Has M. Night Shyamalan's cheese slid off its cracker or what?!
    I saw The Visit as a way for him to redeem himself. A clean slate.
    We're officially out of cheese.
    If there's a director who needs to retire immediately, this is the one.

    The Visit is a PG-13 thriller whose trailer made it look better than it is.
    The story hinges strongly on a very VERY simple twist/revelation that appears about 7/8 into the film. Not only is it…

  • The Green Inferno

    The Green Inferno 2013

    ★★★½ Watched 24 Mar, 2016

    So this film can't and won't be a surprise for fans of Eli Roth. But I have seen a lot of hated and ill will wished upon the film and Eli Roth himself.
    Why?
    He is definitely a fan of movies and much like Tarantino, his enthusiasm for making them is very infectious.

    The acting is horrible with crazy unlikeable characters, and the story is very mediocre, but I can't say I care or mind too much.
    Aside from the…

  • K-11

    K-11 2013

    ★★★½ Watched 14 Mar, 2016

    K-11 is kind of a food truck experience. Or the grilled cheese experience if you may.
    You have to stand in line and wait for the good stuff... And it might get sticky, and smell a little of cheese. Maybe.
    I'm just writing random shit at this point.
    Film's good though.

  • Shame

    Shame 2011

    ★★ Watched 13 Mar, 2016

    It’s a shame that Shame is filled with overextended scenes. My finger sought out the fast forward button quite often.
    I'm not a fan of five minute camera shots with zero editing and long stares that rely on the audience to work out the narrative, but I find it really difficult to recommend a story that truly has no plot.
    One in particular is when Sissy sings “New York, New York”. The photography is right on; perfect lighting, great framing.…

  • Sleeping Beauty

    Sleeping Beauty 2011

    Watched 12 Mar, 2016

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I just wasted my time.. again, and now I'm writing about how I wasted my time.. again. This film left me feeling drugged and depressed.

    Emily Browning was interesting to watch and the premise of the film had a lot of potential but the director clearly had no idea how to use it. The whole film kind of plods along and none of the relationships are defined in any sensible way.
    But worst of all, the film just .... ENDS…

  • I Spit on Your Grave

    I Spit on Your Grave 2010

    ★★★½ Watched 12 Mar, 2016 5

    Recommended by Fish.

    The film starts off with a beautiful young woman who just wants to get out where there are no disruptions, distractions or interruptions; away from the hustle and bustle of the city, simply to concentrate on writing her next novel.
    On her way to the cabin she rented, she has to stop for gas. As she pumps gas she attempts to get help with directions from the guys who are attending the station. Being a small town…

  • High Lane

    High Lane 2009

    ★★★ Watched 11 Mar, 2016 2

    Recommended by bree1981.

    This film does for Acrophobia what The Descent did for Claustrophobia. It makes us tense up way ahead of actually meeting the true monster of the story.

    Five friends decide to do some rock climbing and aerial sightseeing in the Croatian mountains. As they arrive at the desired destination for their climbing adventure, they sadly discover that the area has been marked as unsafe. While most people with half a brain would turn back when they see…

  • The Taking of Deborah Logan

    The Taking of Deborah Logan 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 07 Mar, 2016

    Recommended by Daniel Rodriguez.

    I find myself deviating quite a bit from the cookie-cutter mould that acts as found-footage film these days, but I will confidently say that this was a great bit of fresh air within a diminishing genre.
    If The Taking of Deborah Logan was just about a sufferer of Alzheimer's disease, it would be scary enough. The illness robs its victims of their minds, and in turn, their humanity. The plot walks a dangerous line in how…

  • Catacombs

    Catacombs 2007

    ½ Watched 06 Mar, 2016 1

    This film is ONE of the most drivelling pieces of tosh I've ever wasted my precious time on. It's about as interesting as watching Ashton Kutcher read a newspaper and nowhere near as scary. Absolute and utter tripe. I have nothing further to say.

  • Cold Prey

    Cold Prey 2006

    ★★★★ Watched 01 Mar, 2016 4

    Recommended by Steve G.

    A pure slasher through and through, Cold Prey doesn't do anything new with the slasher genre, but it defines enough of the conventions to make it notable, and it is a compelling horror exercise as well. The story revolves around a group of friends looking to enjoy some snowboarding action, only to have one of the group get injured. They find shelter in what appears to be an abandoned ski lodge, which just so happens to…

  • Chernobyl Diaries

    Chernobyl Diaries 2012

    ★★ Watched 03 Mar, 2016 5

    I'll give it 2 stars for the simple fact that the first 15 minutes or so of the film was decent.
    I began losing interest in the film when a bear comes blazing down a hallway, and everyone shakes their head and goes "Ooh Russia, lol".

    The plot is a formless mess of hysteria resulting in a lot of running around in the dark uttering gibberish. All because a group of nitwits decide to take an unauthorized "extreme tour" of…