RSS feed for Hollie
  • Mr. Jones

    Mr. Jones 2013

    ★★★★ Watched 08 Jan, 2015 22

    If I'm being honest, I wouldn't have watched Mr. Jones if I knew beforehand that it was written/directed by the man who wrote The Divide (Karl Mueller), because I really didn't like that movie very much, and then, coupled with the fact that even Netflix thought I wouldn't like it (the site suggested I'd rate it only 1.3 stars or something ridiculously low), I would have missed out on a fairly underrated, creepy horror film and I'm glad that I…

  • Timecop

    Timecop 1994

    ★★★★ Watched 08 Jan, 2015 5

    While not my favorite Jean-Claude Van Damme film, Timecop is probably one of the most well-written/directed/acted films he's appeared in, so far. I was pretty engrossed the entire time and it wasn't because it was super over-the-top hilarious either, I was actually very interested in the story. I mean, don't get me wrong, the baddies with the intense mullets and piercings were a treat and at times Timecop was so 1994 that it hurt a bit.

    Also, why weren't cars as awesome in 2004 as they were in this movie? I'm pretty sure that in '04 I was still driving a '95 Ford Escort...

  • Comforting Skin

    Comforting Skin 2011

    ★½ Watched 08 Jan, 2015 6

    With the Netflix choices I've been making (in hopes to utilize the proxy-bypass before Netflix shuts me down and takes away my access to the American catalog, [you can read more about this here]), I may have to spend a bit more time looking into the movies I choose to watch because shit like this just isn't going to fly!

    Comforting Skin had an interesting premise that is probably better suited as an idea, not an actual film.

    An insecure,…

  • Sky West and Crooked

    Sky West and Crooked 1965

    ★★ Watched 08 Jan, 2015

    Hayley Mills stars in Sky West and Crooked (aka Gypsy Girl), written by her mother and directed by her father, it's easy to see that the filmmakers seem to care far more about the piece than I did.

    A young girl, named Brydie (Mills), witnesses the accidental shooting death of her friend when they were 7-years-old, fast forward 10 years and she refuses to remember the event, has since lost her father and she is [barely] being raised by her…

  • No Retreat, No Surrender

    No Retreat, No Surrender 1986

    ★★½ Watched 07 Jan, 2015 6

    It's really hard to rate a movie like No Retreat, No Surrender. It doesn't have nearly enough JCVD as a villain named Ivan the Russian, but it does have a kid named Jason who spends a majority of his time at Bruce Lee's grave in Seattle, and then training with Bruce Lee's ghost. But then it also has really terrible characters like the overweight bully who always has ketchup and mustard on his face and the token black friend named…

  • The Princess Bride

    The Princess Bride 1987

    ★★ Watched 06 Jan, 2015 33

    Listen, you guys, I'm going to need your support, don't give up on me now. It takes a lot for me to sit down and write this, but...

    Hi. My name is Hollie and I do not like The Princess Bride.

    I know you're probably wondering what went wrong in my life, why I chose to take this path, or maybe you're curious as to when I realized I hit my, crotchety, mean, old hag, rock bottom, but instead of…

  • Cyborg

    Cyborg 1989

    ★★★★ Watched 06 Jan, 2015

    No action star can cry like JCVD cries. No one.

    There was plenty to like in Cyborg, it was still an action film with plenty of revolving door bad guys shuffling in to get kicked in the face, but the film was packaged within a science fiction/fantasy world. It was great to see JCVD in this setting, providing a fresh look at his usual work. My only real complaint is that he didn't have very many lines.

    Cyborg has a…

  • Sharkwater

    Sharkwater 2006

    ½ Watched 05 Jan, 2015 2

    Sharkwater is probably the worst documentary film I have ever seen in my life and this is mostly in thanks to Rob Stewart (not to be confused with Rod Stewart, although I think both probably look in the mirror while singing "Da ya think I'm sexy?").

    Let me count the ways I hate this film:

    1.) The seemingly random inclusion of a fucking mix CD made by Stewart popping up a lot towards the end. Portishead and Nina Simone are…

  • Universal Soldier

    Universal Soldier 1992

    ★★★★½ Watched 05 Jan, 2015 15

    Universal Soldier is pretty hard to resist when it stars two, beautifully sculpted European men as American soldiers, beating the shit out of each other. I loved the scene in the motel parking lot, as the mother of the motel attendant looks out of the office window at a naked JCVD, licking her lips and smiling in a suggestive manner. Awesome.

    This movie is made up of many memorable scenes that I took great pleasure in; from the little things…

  • Stardust

    Stardust 2007

    ★★★★★ Watched 05 Jan, 2015 13

    In the end of The Purple Rose of Cairo, Cecilia shows us what it means to love movies; that even if you're in a bad situation, or simply feeling down, it gives you the chance to escape into a film and have it completely transform the heart and mind, even if only temporarily, or even still, that movies have proven to be one of the greatest manmade remedies. How can you not love cinema when it has this profound effect…

  • Street Fighter

    Street Fighter 1994

    ★★ Rewatched 04 Jan, 2015 7

    Street Fighter had amazing potential to be something magnificently bad/fun, but somehow, it wasn't over-the-top enough for me and, for JCVD being top-billed, it had far too little of the muscle from Brussels.

    One thing is for certain, M. Bison's bedroom was the stuff my dreams are made of, a chandelier made of skulls and bones, a John Wayne Gacy-style portrait of Bison, that red and black room divider, an evil-looking fireplace, and gas that comes from the ceiling to…

  • Touching the Void

    Touching the Void 2003

    ★★★★ Watched 04 Jan, 2015

    I've never taken prescription medication for anxiety but after watching Touching the Void, I really need a Xanax.