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  • Retro Puppet Master 1999

    ½ Watched 10 Aug, 2014 12

    The guy who starred in this movie as a "Young Toulon," went on to play "Mark" in The, you know...that's something.

  • Ruby 1977

    ★★★ Watched 10 Aug, 2014 6

    Ruby is an interesting slice of horror cinema. While at times it comes off as being made up entirely of borrowed ideas, it still stands on its own as a rather original movie.

    Despite a scene "spoofing" The Exorcist, Piper Laurie (Carrie) as a rather shitty mom...again, a character wearing a "Death Records" jacket, a score that reminded me a bit of Goblin's memorable score to a movie released earlier in the same year--Suspiria; I was most reminded of the…

  • Curse of the Puppet Master 1998

    ½ Watched 09 Aug, 2014 4

    Was it just me or did the opening titles look like the opening credits for The Golden Girls? The puppets are shown in a montage of good times over the past 5 Puppet Master films, set to the same music from Richard Band used in all of the films.

    Puppet Carving Filler ✓
    Drill to the Dick ✓
    Wooooooorst Acting Ever ✓
    Weird Romance between Girl and Pinhead ✓

    There aren't enough drugs to make this movie any better. One star to my main squeeze, Leech Woman. Although I took half of it away for the discrimination, she's not on the coverart.

  • Sexy Beast 2000

    ★★★★★ Watched 09 Aug, 2014 8

    According to IMDb:

    "Ben Kingsley claims the character of Don Logan is largely based on his grandmother."

    I was going to rate this four stars, but fuck it...have five. RIP Ben's Grandma.

  • Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter 1994

    ★½ Watched 08 Aug, 2014 3

    That movie was only 82-minutes long?! You could have fooled me, Mr. Band! I thought for sure I was suffering through a movie the length of War and Peace! It takes a lot of talent to manage something like that!! Oh, don't mind me, I'm just venting my frustrations at your decision to omit Leech Woman, AGAIN.

    Even the inclusion of Clu Gulager as "Man #1"couldn't save this one for me! Duane Whitaker was so familiar but I couldn't actually…

  • Alien 2: On Earth 1980

    Watched 07 Aug, 2014 19

    I feel like I just sat through 60 minutes of "Spelunking Video Instructions" followed by 32 minutes of guerrilla-style location shots acquired on a weekend trip to California from Italy--only to be edited into the movie at a later date. These are only theories but I would put stock in them.

    Thanks to this nonsensical movie made solely for the purpose of generating a profit at the expense of a trusting, yet easily duped, Italian audience, my husband is now…

  • Puppet Master 4 1993

    ★★ Rewatched 07 Aug, 2014

    Genre-regular Jeff Burr (Pumpkinhead II: Bloodwings, Offspring, TCM III) decided to take on this installment in the Puppet Master franchise and somehow managed to completely tone down the horror to a tame lull.

    Puppet Master 4 focuses more on the Egyptian-mythos surrounding the magic of the reanimation required to bring the puppets to life, so this means no Nazis and [thankfully] no shitty German-English accents. Sadly for me, there's no Leech Woman either!

    Now all of the puppets we have…

  • Mama 2013

    Watched 06 Aug, 2014 11

    Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Jessica Chastain. Seriously? They have cast two of the most clean-cut, straitlaced actors to portray artistic-subculture types and both (who are normally relatively good actors, mind you) FAILED MISERABLY. Poor Jessica Chastain to a greater extent as the movie is relying mostly on her and her laughable caricature-styling. Things are about to get ugly here, so don't blame me because I have warned you! And, yes, I am a bitch, I am painfully aware.

    I'm not buying…

  • Humanoids from the Deep 1996

    Watched 06 Aug, 2014 11

    Green pepper
    Green Beans

    That's all I wrote while watching this version of Humanoids from the Deep. I guess you could say it wasn't really holding my attention very well...

    In the 1990s Roger Corman must have been hard-up for new, cheap ideas because he began producing a whole slew of remakes that were tarnishing the films made only a decade (or so) prior...of his own movies..Not of this Earth (1995), Piranha (1995), Dead Space

  • Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge 1991

    ★★½ Watched 06 Aug, 2014 6

    I don't think I had ever seen Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge in its entirety but I had seen some of the end-bits, which I'm sure I probably just caught on USA's Up All Night or Monstervision, something of that ilk. I was never one to go out of my way to rent Full Moon movies back then because they were always on TV and I wasn't a huge fan.

    Taking inspiration from the first and second film, they [Charles…

  • Forbidden World 1982

    ★★★★ Watched 05 Aug, 2014 8

    It's bad enough that this movie is another Alien-clone (by bad I mean awesome) but it's even worse that I kept accidentally calling it Forbidden Planet.

    I've never seen Star Wars but I'm pretty sure the movie opens with the robot Sam looking a hell of a lot like a stormtrooper (he was white in the beginning but later in the movie appears to have changed into a dark-green color). While on the topic of film familiarity, Fox Harris' Dr.…

  • Puppet Master II 1991

    ★★½ Watched 05 Aug, 2014 12

    I really thought I had seen Puppet Master II before but that was the first time (and will most certainly be the last).

    The quality of the puppets went up several notches by the first sequel to Puppet Master, but unfortunately that means the story and human-actors went in the other direction. But, I would be upset if it was reversed, the movie is about puppets...

    The biggest downfall is that a majority of the movie consists of Steve Welles…