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  • The Turning

    The Turning 2013

    ★★ Watched 07 Feb, 2016

    Just need to preface that I had (and still have) a 101 fever while watching this so I'm probably not of the best mind to review this anthology film.

    It wasn't God awful but like most anthology films, it's very scattershot, most of the vignettes don't go anywhere (except the last one, which was called "Big World" or something like that. That one was great and very powerful) and utterly makes the film as a whole feel rather pointless.


  • Bad Hurt

    Bad Hurt 2015

    Watched 07 Feb, 2016

    The kind of movie that would be seen as at least passable, if not a probable Oscar contender, if it were made in the late 80s or early 90s (even though it's set in 1999), now looks like a joke, an overstuffed and overbaked domestic melodrama that is laughably bad.

    Think "Kramer vs. Kramer" or "Ordinary People" but really, really, really godawful and cliched. I don't care about these characters or their situation and problems at all. Boo hoo.

    You can call me cynical but this cinematic turd ends on a freeze frame. That's all you really need to know.

  • Our Brand Is Crisis

    Our Brand Is Crisis 2015

    ★★ Watched 07 Feb, 2016

    DGG and Sandy B team up for a middlebrow (failed) Oscar Bait-y film that actually even references Warren Beatty at one point and reminded me of "Erin Brokovitch".

    Like Julia Roberts in that film which I probably spelled wrong (actually I'm 100% sure I spelled it wrong but fuck it), Sandra Bullock is actually quite good in a fairly heavy-handed political "satire" that isn't sure if it actually wants to even be a "Wag the Dog"-style satire or if it wants to be something more earnest.

    Good performance in a shite middlebrow film.

  • The Pack

    The Pack 2015

    ★★ Watched 06 Feb, 2016

    The girl (Katie Moore) who plays Sophie is really cute and the end credits song is great but this film, which is basically "White God" as an Ozploitation film isn't as awesome as that sounds.

    Monotonous and repetivive, "The Pack" doesn't add up to much and doesn't provide many thrills or chills either.

    The next thing I'm gonna say is kind of a spoiler so.......



  • Spooks: The Greater Good

    Spooks: The Greater Good 2015

    ★★★ Watched 05 Feb, 2016

    I only watched the tv show "MI-5" (known as "Spooks" in the UK) sporadically throughout its 10-year run, so much so that I am not even sure which characters in this movie were in the show (I know Peter Firth definitely was and Kit "Jon Snow" Harrington, who plays a Jack Bauer-type operative, definitely wasn't but aside from that....)

    This was a perfectly fine spy film. Nothing super special. I might have enjoyed this more if I were more familiar with the show. I dunno.

    It will be interesting to see if they make more of these or if this is it for the franchise.

  • The Last Witch Hunter

    The Last Witch Hunter 2015

    Watched 04 Feb, 2016

    Kudos on "Paint it Black" as the end credits song but this was a steaming pile of shite. I knew it would be and, to be honest, most of the time I was on Facebook or Twitter so I really didn't pay too much attention but from what I did see, this was dreadful.

    Who thought this was a good idea?

    I just need to stop watching "big" movies and just stick with the smaller ones I know I'll like.

    No originality here, just a Hodge-podge of game of thrones, witches and other things that people generally like.


  • I Remember You

    I Remember You 2014

    ★★ Watched 02 Feb, 2016

    Rising star Joe Egender ("Holy Ghost People") is the male lead in this low-fi sci-fi romantic drama from director Claudia Sparrow.

    Overall, I found this movie, while well acted and enigmatic, to be plodding and dull complete with a "yeah, I get it" ending.

    This should have been a short film not an 87 minute one.

    The acting was solid but everything else I found kind of "Meh".

  • Sicario

    Sicario 2015

    ★★½ Watched 02 Feb, 2016 1

    I do consider myself a Denis Villeneuve fan because I love "Enemy" so much but I never saw "Incendies" (I've heard good things), "Polytechnique" (I've heard GREAT things) or "Prisoners", which is his best known movie but I don't think I could handle it.

    Now I've seen "Sicario" and it's.... ok. It's nowhere near as audacious as "Enemy" but as far as (here I go again) middlebrow entertainment goes, you can definitely do worse.

    It's not really my thing, too glossy, but it wasn't a bad movie.

    Benicio Del Toro is great in this though.

  • Curve

    Curve 2015

    ★★★ Watched 31 Jan, 2016

    From the director of "K-Pax" and "Hackers" comes this very typical but still good survival story anchored by a strong performance from Julianne Hough.

    Proof you should never pick up a moderately hunky hitchhiker.

    I wish this weren't so typical but it was still pretty good.

    It can be found on Netflix streaming.

  • Shark Lake

    Shark Lake 2015

    ★★½ Watched 30 Jan, 2016

    This movie was ridiculous, convoluted and a total ripoff of both "Jaws" and "Lake Placid" (with Dolph Lundgren in the Betty White role, I guess lol), with a little bit of "Piranha 3D" thrown in good measure.

    But you know what? It's not horrible.

    Again, it's junk food cinema and a TOTAL ripoff/"homage" of/to those other movies I just mentioned but I found it kinda fun.

    The acting is horrendous but it's exactly what you'd expect it to be..... and that's not ALWAYS a bad thing.

  • Sea Horse

    Sea Horse 2015

    ★★½ Watched 30 Jan, 2016

    Another movie that was surprisingly soothing. This is part Alaskan wilderness survival story and part low-fi sci-fi.

    It's very pretty to look at at and it's soothing but as far as movies go, you can definitely go for a movie with more depth and more to say.

    I enjoyed "Sea Horse" (and it WAS surprisingly soothing) but it doesn't really have a reason to exist.

  • The Assassin

    The Assassin 2015

    ★★★ Watched 29 Jan, 2016

    Never has a martial arts movie been so.... soothing. I'm not even normally into the genre at all. I can totally understand why some people (Paul Shrader, for instance) hated it but I found it experimental and.... soothing lol

    That sounds like a weird thing to say about a martial arts movie but it's true about this one.

    I enjoy the artistry and experimentation of this movie. The story.... not so much.