RSS feed for Jeff
  • Traxx

    Traxx 1988

    ★★★ Watched 28 Nov, 2015 4


  • Ninja III: The Domination

    Ninja III: The Domination 1984

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 07 Nov, 2015 10

    Even more bizarre and confusing than I remember, and I remember it being really, really bizarre and confusing.

    Truly one of the most unexplainable films ever made.

  • Back to the Future

    Back to the Future 1985

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 21 Oct, 2015 23

    I can vividly recall coming home on a Saturday afternoon in 1985, vibrating with excitement over the brilliance that was Back to the Future. In typical 7-year-old fashion, I needed to share my enthusiasm in great length and questionable ability with someone. Anyone! Who?! DAD!!

    One of the reasons this memory has always stuck with is because I completely spoiled the ending for my dad. I specifically remember reenacting the scene where we learn that Doc survived his confrontation with…

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road 2015

    ★★★★½ Watched 04 Sep, 2015

    I can't remember the last time I finished a movie and wanted to immediately watch it again. And I can't think of any other big, dumb action movie that I was still thinking about 12 hours later.

  • John Wick

    John Wick 2014

    ★★ Watched 12 Jul, 2015

    Part of me wants to praise the makers of John Wick for openly admitting they are stale as fuck with that Marilyn Manson song.

  • Show Off! How To Be Cool at Parties

    Show Off! How To Be Cool at Parties 1986

    Watched 01 Jul, 2015 14

    After watching a few videos about the dangers of heavy metal music and the impending conversion to Satanism of all '80s youth, I decided it was time for a little levity. Cue this "instructional" video starring Malcolm Jamal Warner (of TV's The Cosby Show), that one dildo that made wacky sounds with his mouth but wasn't in Police Academy, and a fistful of other assholes I didn't recognize.

    Turns out this was a much darker and more depressing experience than…

  • Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults

    Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults 1994

    ★★★ Watched 28 Jun, 2015 7

    Kinda boring but enough unintentional hilarity to justify its hour and fifteen minute runtime.

    FYI - Tomorrow, July 1st, is an important date on the Satanic calendar; it's a day of demon revels including blood sacrifices, sex with demons, and, according to this video, sex with large beasts. So, you guys got plans?

  • Kung Fury

    Kung Fury 2015

    ★★ Watched 29 May, 2015 17

    Feeling long at 30 minutes and never actually funny, the biggest offense of Kung Fury is that all the "crazy randomness" feels culled from the other, better crazy-random '80s throwbacks of the last seven years or so. How many wacky Hitlers have we had in the last five years alone? This is the fourth one I can think of off the top of my head. And I was just trying to watch Theodore Rex which has a dinosaur cop or some bullshit.

    Actually, on second thought, the biggest offense is that it all feels completely devoid of heart.

  • Cobain: Montage of Heck

    Cobain: Montage of Heck 2015

    ★★★½ Watched 08 May, 2015 14

    Despite being well-crafted and quite entertaining, I couldn’t shake the niggling thought while watching Montage of Heck of “Why does this exist?” I get that it is supposed to be the definitive portrait of Kurt Cobain, and as such I suppose it succeeds. But even as a moderate Nirvana fan I felt I had heard all of the stories and seen most of footage. Again, a neatly-packaged compendium of material, but pretty well-covered ground already.

    My main takeaway—and something I…

  • X-Men: Days of Future Past

    X-Men: Days of Future Past 2014

    ★★★ Watched 19 Apr, 2015 28


    • Despite the fact it took me three days to wade through it, and other than the fact I fell asleep twice, Day of Future Past wasn't super boring. Except when people were talking.

    • Having Huge Jackman and Mike Fassbender in the same movie effectively turned me gay.


    • The funky wah wah guitar when Wolverine steps out into the funky wah wah 70s. I guess the audience needs to be pummeled with the fact that it's…

  • Corey Haim: Me, Myself and I

    Corey Haim: Me, Myself and I 1989

    Watched 06 Apr, 2015

    Because I did no due diligence, I'm going to assume this was made after Haim got in some sort of legal trouble and was trying to remind producers and young girls he was still viable. Sadly, (literally sadly) Haim comes across as a complete asshole. The majority of the video is made up of B roll of the crew setting up shots, and the actual interviews with Haim do not paint him on the best light. He loves hockey and…

  • Whiplash

    Whiplash 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 24 Feb, 2015 16

    If you don't play traditional grip you'll look like you're a fucking idiot, let's just say it right now. Anyone wants to up their game as far as looking like you know what you're doing, play traditional grip. I don't play traditional grip very well but I do it every now and again if I see somebody in the audience that's going to judge me for not using it, which is something I am always on the look out for.…