The 3.5 rating is a preemptive rating. See, I was a little closer to "meh" upon finishing Wrong Cops than that rating would imply. But, with the slightest amount of reflection, I can recognize the fact that had I seen this when I was 19 I would have forced my friends to watch it and we would have quoted it for years. And I'm positive that I would find it much funnier on a second viewing due to the nature…
This fucking bullshit has been on constant rotation in my goddamn house for months thanks to my asshole kid. I mean, I watched it all the time when I was a kid so I can't really fault him. And the part where Pooh tries to steal honey from the bees makes him giggle like an idiotic moron, and I enjoy that. And those final minutes where Christopher Robin asks Pooh to never forget him are an absolute heart wrenching reminder of the innocence of youth that even I can't deny.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT, PUSSY?!?!?
This movie is super dumb. It's a dumb concept that seem like maybe it's going to at least partially succeed due to the performances of Naomi Watts and Robin Wright. But the dudes that play their sons are given nothing to work with (not that either of them could have handled actually having to act), and the second half is just so stupid.
My wife took umbrage with the idea that some young, hot guy would want to bang…
This was not nearly as gay as I thought it was going to be. It's still pretty gay, though. I think I was expecting everything in the background to be shaped like a phallus or something, but only about half the stuff in the background is wang-shaped.
I thought all the homosexual subtext was pretty great. Despite this kid's urges manifesting themselves as evil incarnate, Freddy Kruger, I think a case could be made that it's really more about how…
I guess I'm still watching rock docs. Rewatching, even. A zebra can't change its stripes.
One of the themes of Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage is how immensely uncool Rush is. And a big part of the film's charm is in Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart embracing the fact that they are super uncool.
I like Rush but I've never been able to love them, partly because they are so goddamn nerdy. A band like Devo made being…
Seems I may have reached capacity on rock docs. Despite the fact this is a watchable and completely entertaining documentary about the women whose voices have been on some of the most famous recordings of all time, I just couldn't find it in my heart to give a shit.
My apathy stems from two places: first, the music industry is a cruel bitch that's chewed up and spit out thousands upon thousands of people. I find it hard to sympathize…
Pete: Hey, I tell you what is. Big city, hmm? Live, work, huh? But not city only. Only peoples. Peoples is peoples. No is buildings. Is tomatoes, huh? Is peoples, is dancing, is music, is potatoes. So, peoples is peoples. Okay?
Statler: Hey, look, Waldorf. It's a frog and a pig.
Waldorf: Yeah, it looks like they're in love.
Waldorf: Kinda makes you sick, doesn't it?
Ronnie Crawford: Dad! Dad! I've got great news!
Bernard Crawford: [looking at…
I must be getting old because this horribly dated piece of Christian propaganda about the evils of rock music barely made me smile.
In it, our protagonist Jeff (no relation) is going through some hard times. The kind of hard times that white, middle class teenagers who hold after school jobs and go to youth group every week have. You know, total bullshit problems. Basically he's an idiot teenager with a mom who is on the bitchier end of the…
See, the problem here is that this is so right up my alley.
☑ Rock and roll
☑ Looks cool
☑ Japanese weirdness
Yup. Take this all with a grain of salt because I can't be trusted from here on out.
Our protagonist, Dragon Eye Morrison, is a boxer/noise guitarist/lizard enthusiast who can shoot electricity from his fists due to being electrocuted on an electrical tower when he was a child. The other dude is is a half-man/half metal Buddha…
"Twenty three fuckin' dollars for the two of us? I don't even really know what this movie is."
"Good God with these previews. Every goddamn movie looks like a video game."
"Oh, it's The Slightly Peckish Games."
"Alright, at least this is moving along at a good pace."
"The fuck is up with these songs?"
"Wait, how much movie is still left?"
"Wait, is this a kissing movie?"
"Dude, these songs."
"This girl is kind of a babe."