RSS feed for Jeff
  • Oculus 2013

    ★★ Watched 18 Sep, 2014 17

    I already forgot I watched this last night.

  • Sunshine 2007

    ★★★ Rewatched 31 Aug, 2014 8

    Has another film ever so thoroughly and completely shit the bed?

  • Action U.S.A. 1989

    ★★★★ Watched 30 Aug, 2014

    Having already acknowledged that my rating might be inflated due to yesterday's Rollergator incident, I still feel it's my duty to recommend this movie to anyone who's a fan of stuntmen doing crazy shit. It's not quite as berserk as Arizal's movies due to the fact we have laws in the U.S., but it's pretty close.

    The first five minutes are a little wonky, but then the film kicks into 10 straight minutes of action bliss. It starts of with…

  • Rollergator 1996

    Watched 29 Aug, 2014 26

    This might be the most unwatchable movie I've ever seen. I watch a lot of really terrible crap, so I realize that that's a fairly bold statement. But Rollergator is completely inept in its filmmaking, 99% offensively unfunny in its humor, and comprised of about 5 minutes of plot and 80 minutes of unintelligible dialogue.

    A movie like Birdemic: Shock and Terror transcends its awfulness because the lack of talent involved inadvertently turns the film into a Lynch-ian nightmare even…

  • I Got the Hook Up 1998

    ★★½ Rewatched 09 Aug, 2014 15

    Turns out that when I get up at 6:00 am on a Saturday, the best movie I can think of to watch is one starring Master P. Actually, I was hoping to watch some Rudy Ray Moore, but Netflix pulled all the Dolemite movies and somehow I thought this would be a good substitute. [Please note that I have seen this before.]

    Master P was clearly heavily influenced by Friday, going so far as to cast Tiny "Zeus" Lister and…

  • Airplane! 1980

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 27 Jul, 2014 18

    1) It's been scientifically proven that this is the funniest movie of all time, so we don't need to have that conversation any more.

    2) I thought jive was an actual language until I was maybe 13.

    3) For some odd reason the visual gag of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar being pulled away from the cockpit wearing his Lakers gear and goggles is one of my favorite jokes in the movie.

    4) This movie is rated PG but has boobs in it,…

  • Major League 1989

    ★★★★ Rewatched 26 Jul, 2014 3

    I'm not going to pretend like nostalgia doesn't play a big part in my love for this movie, but I will defend every actor as being absolutely perfect in their role.

    Sure, the love story crap is kind of weak, but Bob Ueuker makes up for any and every possible problem one could find in this movie.

  • Under the Skin 2013

    Watched 25 Jul, 2014 11

    Wife (as credits roll): What, I gotta take a class on this now?

    Under the Skin is easily the most fascinating and audacious film I've watched in the last year. I love to be challenged by a film, and this one asks a lot of its audience while simultaneously not really caring what anyone thinks. Director Jonathan Glazer wears his influences on his sleeve, but melds them into an experience unlike anything else.

    Ultimately, the repetitive nature of the story…

  • Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones 2014

    ★★ Watched 24 Jul, 2014 6

    Marking this as "watched" seems like kind of a cheat because I spent a large portion of the run time just sort of spacing out and not really paying attention.

    It started fine, but when the naked lady shows up and the dude filming is just whipping the camera like an idiot I realized that this movie sucked. There was some other scene where the way it was being filmed didn't make any goddamn sense, but I was probably looking…

  • The Lego Movie 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 17 Jul, 2014 16

    I'm a little torn on The LEGO Movie. We've made a couple attempts to watch it at home and, although finding the film pretty clever and often really funny, the manic pacing gets to be too much after a while.

    So on Thursday we got free passes to see it outside at the park. We were going to skip it because taking a two-year-old to a movie that starts at his bedtime could end very, very badly. But we figured…

  • Wayne's World 1992

    ★★★½ Rewatched 23 Jun, 2014 16

    Wife: Watching this in HD is weird. You can see everyone's wrinkles

    Me: Hahahaha! Oh my god, I was thinking the exact same thing!

    Wife: This is HD, right?

    When this came out I thought it was stupid. The humor is so obvious and Mike Myers seems to be begging the audience to laugh at his jokes.

    Multiple watches warmed me to it, though. I realized that while many of the gags miss, the ones that work are funny enough…

  • Cold in July 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 22 Jun, 2014 7

    Had I realized this was from the director of Mulberry Street (which literally put me to sleep) and Stakeland (whose attempt at gravitas made me embarrassed for all parties involved), I probably would have passed.

    Luckily, I'm too lazy to even Google the movies I watch, and throw them on based solely on the fact that I think I might have heard something positive about them at some point, maybe.

    Cold in July is director Jeremy (?) Hinkle's (?) best…