RSS feed for Jeff
  • Whiplash

    Whiplash 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 24 Feb, 2015 16

    If you don't play traditional grip you'll look like you're a fucking idiot, let's just say it right now. Anyone wants to up their game as far as looking like you know what you're doing, play traditional grip. I don't play traditional grip very well but I do it every now and again if I see somebody in the audience that's going to judge me for not using it, which is something I am always on the look out for.…

  • Blackfish

    Blackfish 2013

    ★★★ Watched 10 Jan, 2015 30

    If you find it shocking that corporations are evil and humans treat animals horribly, then you are a fucking moron.

    Minus half a star for making me watch a whale receive a hand job.

  • Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

    Romy and Michele's High School Reunion 1997

    ★★★ Watched 01 Jan, 2015 9

    This is a movie that exists. I watched it. I think I was mostly entertained.

    Welcome to 2015, friends. The above paragraph will probably be my review for about 90% of the movies I watch this year. Sorry?

  • Unedited Footage of a Bear

    Unedited Footage of a Bear 2014

    Watched 21 Dec, 2014 8

    Too Many Cooks 2: Two Many Cooks.

    These are basically the fake ads Saturday Night Live was making in the early 90s stretched to 11 minutes to make them "edgy." They're not.

  • Chelsea Handler Uganda Be Kidding Me Live

    Chelsea Handler Uganda Be Kidding Me Live 2014

    ★½ Watched 13 Dec, 2014 11

    Totally forgot to log this...



    ...because it's fucking awful.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy 2014

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 13 Dec, 2014 24

    This one is for me. This one gets to be mine.

    I didn't want my superheroes cramming college freshman philosophy down my throat. I didn't want my super friends to require an hour of exposition to get their team together.

    I wanted weirdos. I wanted fun. I wanted to go to different worlds. I wanted to get to all of them quickly. I wanted a talking raccoon. I wanted a graduate of Troma to give this to me. I wanted…

  • Microcosmos

    Microcosmos 1996

    ★★★★ Watched 12 Dec, 2014 2

    Sometimes I really, really, really, really miss taking drugs.

  • The Lego Movie

    The Lego Movie 2014

    ★★★★ Rewatched 28 Nov, 2014 26

    Easily the best Batman ever.

  • Too Many Cooks

    Too Many Cooks 2014

    Watched 08 Nov, 2014 7

    Being that this and Interstellar seem to be the most popular things on Letterboxd today, I feel comfortable in my choice of skipping Interstellar.

  • Surviving Edged Weapons

    Surviving Edged Weapons 1988

    ★★★★ Watched 07 Nov, 2014 8

    Whoa. Where to begin...

    Surviving Edged Weapons is a feature-length police training video, ostensibly about how to protect yourself against an attack with a knife or razor or any sharp weapon. And while there is certainly information useful to law enforcement officers about the subject, the video is an bizarre conglomeration of coked-up dramatizations, gruesome photos of actual knife wounds, and the occasional random aside that has little to do with anything.

    It feels like the director was given some…

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 2011

    ★★★★ Watched 05 Nov, 2014 9

    Despite the fact I kept thinking I was watching one of those Hobbit movies, this is a massive step up from the snoozery of the previous three Harry Parry films. Or four films? Not sure. Everything after Azkaban.

    I actually found myself getting a bit emotional during the epilogue. But I also ate an entire pint of ice cream while watching this, so I might just be starting my period.

  • Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

    Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope 1977

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 21 Oct, 2014 11

    Actual conversations I had with my 2 and a half year old son, Jack, while watching this:

    Jack (As opening scroll starts): Ooooooooooohhhhh.
    Me: I know!

    *****

    Jack: Moon.
    Me: Yup.
    Jack: Big moon.
    Me: Uh huh.
    Jack: Spaceship!
    Me: Sure is.

    *****

    Jack: Star Wars is cool!
    Me: I know!

    *****

    Me (as Darth Vader enters): Who's that, dude? You know who that is.
    Jack: Dr. Doom!
    Me: Hahahahahahaaaaaaa!!! That's the best wrong guess ever.

    *****

    Jack: Star Wars…