review by Josh Keown Pro
Grindhouse 2007
Rewatched Aug 13, 2012
Josh Keown’s review:
This is basically just a round-up of Grindhouse on a whole, including all the magnificent trailers included in the full release. So in the complete Grindhouse edition are five fake trailers from five renowned directors, two of which have already been adapted into films.
Herein, I will give you my take on each of these rather sterling short films. Without further ado;
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“This is my bacon! Muhahahahahahaha!”
-Fu Manchu (Nicolas Cage)
(P.S. I’m not too sure if that’s what he says. Mecca? Bedtime? Vision? I don't know.)
Werewolf Women of the S.S.
In Death Camp 13, the Nazi’s form a diabolical plot to create an army of Super Werewolf Soldiers! Starring Udo Kier, Sheri Moon Zombie, Bill Mosley and Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu. Written and directed by Rob Zombie.
VERDICT; Do it. Nicolas Cage could easily win an Oscar, just based on his five seconds in this trailer.
5/5
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“If you… are thinking… of seeing this movie alone… Don’t!”
-The Narrator
Don’t
Don’t look up! Don’t look… anywhere! Don’t, Don’t, Don’t, Don’t, Don’t. Starring Jason Isaacs, MyAnna Buring, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Written and directed by Edgar Wright.
VERDICT; The cast look good, but I didn’t really understand the premise.
4/5
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“This year, there will be no leftovers.”
-The Narrator
Thanksgiving
A crazy murderer visits a small town in Minnesota for thanksgiving, and starts slaughtering the towns residents. And makes human turkeys! Starring Jordan Ladd, Jay Hernandez, Michael Biehn and Jeff Rendell. Written by Jeff Rendell and directed by Eli Roth.
VERDICT; It looked a bit like your average slasher, but the narrator was unnervingly creepy.
3.5/5
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“I’m gonna sleep in your bloody carcasses tonight!”
-The Hobo (Rutger Hauer)
Hobo with a Shotgun
A homeless man has had enough, turning vigilante and blowing away crooked cops, paedophile Santa’s and other scumbags with his trusty pump-action shotgun! Written by Rob Cotterill and John Davies, directed by Jason Eisener. Adapted into a film in 2011, starring Rutger Hauer and Molly Dunsworth.
VERDICT; Brilliant. Could even have social commentary injected in with the slaughter and bloodletting.
4/5
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“God has mercy. I don’t.”
Padre Benicio Del Toro (Cheech Marin)
Machete
Set up, double crossed and left for dead. He knows the score. He gets the women. And he kills the bad guys! Action. Suspense. Emotion. MACHETE. Staring Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin and Jeff Fahey. Written and directed by Robert Rodriguez. Also adapted into a film in 2010.
VERDICT; Love It. The epitomy of Grindhouse cinema, at its most excessive and extravagant. Roll on Machete Kills!
5/5
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3.5 stars for Death Proof, 4 stars for Planet Terror give 4 overall, and it gets an extra half star for some of the most magnificent trailers commited to cellular membrane.
4.5/5 or 9/10
It took a lot of convincing, but I did go on to Blu fairly recently. Not regretted it. There is a Grindhouse Blu on my wishlist. Sod it, I'll order it now :-)
Don't Open the Door was another one.
Ha yeah i've considered upgrading. I think i'll wait until they invent something else, and the prices of blu-rays drop! It's quality against cost, but i have thought about it.
Of course, Don't Look Now was the only true Don't of any quality up to the present day.
Oh yeah, Don't Look Now has got to be the best 'Don't' film. Found it really scary as a kid. I didn't mind last year's Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.
I think we have an idea for a Letterbox list.
That's true actually, Dark was another good Don't film. I thought the original television movie from '73 was slightly better, but i'm a sucker for the older flicks.
The 2011 version is easily one of the superior remakes though, certainly by comparison to most others.
Haha yes, that would be a good one to do actually! There's more than enough.
You could do the Don'ts and that's given me the idea of doing the Cannibals. Plenty of them too.
Yeah, do it! Have you seen Cannibal Holocaust? probably the most notorious of the lot. Cannibal Apocalypse is a personal favourite.
Yes, seen Holocaust. Fairly recently as well. Thought it was really good for the most part, though the real animal cruelty leaves a bad taste. I love the theme music. Not seen Apocalypse or most of the others in fact.
Oh i agree with that. It's not so much i have a problem seeing that when it's pretend, its that it was just unnecessary to really do it. Otherwise, yes, it was good.
Apolcalypse is also pretty cool, not as good though i would say. There's been a fair few over the years, and i can't say i've seen many of them.