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  • Incall

    Incall 2014

    Watched 28 Jul, 2016

    “Pft. This isn't a man. This is a sketch.”
    -Kasey Keind (Brock Riebe)

    “So how big is your cock?”
    -Massage Client (Bill Beck)

    “How's the dead guy?”
    -Marco (Ben Muller)

    “Um… Yeah it's very sensual. Um… Yeah I could do that at the end.”
    -Kasey Keind (Brock Riebe)

    “Who is that crazy bitch?”
    -Marco (Ben Muller)

    (A smorgasbord sampling of Incall's stellar dialogue.)

    Oh my God, I was in literal tears at several points. I actually had to check the…

  • They're Watching

    They're Watching 2016

    ★½ Watched 25 Jul, 2016

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.


    PREFACE to the PREFACE; This review will be spoiler-ific. It will be long. It may be profane. It will definitely be fueled by the hatred boiling in my veins. You have been warned.

    "Can someone please explain to these assholes that we are American!"
    -Alex Torini (Kris Lemche)

    PREFACE DEUX; Right, so before my actual review of this film, I'm going to start with a simple quiz of sorts. So, by the very fact that you are…

  • 10.5: Apocalypse
  • 10.5

    10.5 2004

    ★★ Watched 01 Feb, 2015

    "When the left hand finally realizes what the right hand is doing, it's exploded in all of our faces."
    -President Paul Holister (Beau Bridges)

    Hello fellow Letterboxderites (*citation needed), it's been a while since I've been on this site! If by some slim chance anyone remains from back then, and the even slimmer chance that anyone actually remembers me, then hi! And hello to all the new guys and gals that have inevitably popped up over the past couple of…

  • Yellowstone

    Yellowstone 2009

    ★★★★½ Watched 12 Apr, 2013

    The BBC Yellowstone series is rounded off in riveting style with the last episode, Autumn. Whilst watching this series, I wondered why they hadn’t A) chosen to do four episodes, one for each season and B) start with spring and head through to winter. However, on reflection the order that the BBC opted for does work remarkably well.

    This entry is likely the best of the trio, if only because it introduces and examines the human element too. Of course,…

  • Yellowstone

    Yellowstone 2009

    ★★★★½ Watched 11 Apr, 2013

    The second episode in the Yellowstone series, this is equally as good as the first, if not better. As expected this one is a bit more diverse; you’ve got the happy spring/summer time, all babies and calves and puppies and shit being born all over the place, then you’ve got that hard grind toward autumn when the mama’s and their babies can’t find any food. Everything that worked so well before is just as good here, with the rebirth of…

  • Yellowstone

    Yellowstone 2009

    ★★★★½ Watched 11 Apr, 2013

    So I was flicking through Netflix, as you do; casually looking for films to occupy the day when you’re a university student with the entire day off, and being too much of a lazy ass to actually do any work. I decided to go for something in the TV section, but instead of catching up on Breaking Bad or Dexter like I should, I opted for a documentary on Yellowstone.

    Simply titled Yellowstone, this BBC production is split into three…

  • Spring Breakers

    Spring Breakers 2012

    ★★★★ Watched 10 Apr, 2013

    “You're my mother fuckin' soul-mates.”
    -Alien (James Franco)

    Spring Breakers; The American Dream becomes the American Neon-Nightmare in this coming of age tale gone horribly wrong. Schlocky, erratic and oh so hellish, the latest film from distinctive director Harmony Korine is something of a wonder to this here film fanatic.

    I saw a trailer for an old documentary the day before watching this, which focussed on those aptly titled ‘Midnight Movies’ they had back in the day – trashy pictures…

  • The Delta Force

    The Delta Force 1986

    ★★★ Rewatched 17 Mar, 2013

    “Sleep tight, sucker.”
    -Maj. Scott McCoy (Chuck Norris)

    Today, Sunday 17th March 2013, was set to be just another day. Just another typical, lazy Sunday. But today wasn’t an ordinary Sunday. It’ll all started this morning, when I finally decided to get my lazy ass up. As I laboriously slithered out of bed at precisely 10.51AM, I realised two things. The first was that there was no fucking milk in the house for my breakfast, and the second was that…

  • The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

    The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 2002

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 05 Mar, 2013

    “Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red dawn. Forth, Eorlingas!”
    -Theoden (Bernard Hill)

    Part 4 of the Middle-Earth Odyssey.

    As Frodo and Sam formally ventured forth into Mordor and the trio of lovable rouges that is Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli set off to chase down the Hobbits Boromir misplaced, so too had our second quest into the land of Middle-Earth officially begun. As anyone who…

  • Texas Chainsaw 3D

    Texas Chainsaw 3D 2013

    ★★ Watched 03 Mar, 2013

    “Do your thing, cuz!”
    -Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario)

    Ahoodehaha, yes I watched this movie. Why? Why did I watch it? Why on earth did I watch it when I could already tell it was going to be complete and utter garbage? I don’t know. I supposed it lived up to its terrible reputation at the very least.

    This film raises a lot of questions, actually. Like, for example, how could this franchise sink any lower than it already had in…

  • Mama

    Mama 2013

    ★★★½ Watched 25 Feb, 2013

    “A ghost is an emotion bent out of shape, condemned to repeat itself time and time again.”
    -Dr. Dreyfuss’ Secretary (Elva Mai Hoover)

    Being such a massive fan of the horror genre, I’d wager years and years of subtle erosion has slowly but surely desensitised me to most instances of the genre on-screen; they certainly don’t have as much effect as they once did. However, one film that does have the ability to unsettle me, no matter how many times…