Josh has written 4 reviews for films released in 2013.
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Krampus: The Christmas Devil 2013
"You snivelling little shit. You hurt, you tortured, a poor defenceless little animal. And for that you should die! I should kill you myself!"
- Santa Claus (Paul Ferm)When I think of Santa Claus, I also immediately think homicidal child murderer. This is the true embodiment of the festive season. What a delight. I too feel like the Krampus legend would be more engaging and popular if he acted as Santa's personal hitman.
In a bar fight scene, the…
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Texas Chainsaw 3D 2013
“Do your thing, cuz!”
-Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario)Ahoodehaha, yes I watched this movie. Why? Why did I watch it? Why on earth did I watch it when I could already tell it was going to be complete and utter garbage? I don’t know. I supposed it lived up to its terrible reputation at the very least.
This film raises a lot of questions, actually. Like, for example, how could this franchise sink any lower than it already had in…
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Mama 2013
“A ghost is an emotion bent out of shape, condemned to repeat itself time and time again.”
-Dr. Dreyfuss’ Secretary (Elva Mai Hoover)Being such a massive fan of the horror genre, I’d wager years and years of subtle erosion has slowly but surely desensitised me to most instances of the genre on-screen; they certainly don’t have as much effect as they once did. However, one film that does have the ability to unsettle me, no matter how many times…
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Stoker 2013
“You know, I've often wondered why it is we have children... and the conclusion I've come to is: we want someone to get it right this time. But not me. Personally speaking, I can't wait to watch life tear you apart.”
-Evelyn Stoker (Nicole Kidman)Stoker is undoubtedly a Chan-wook Park film. Being a massive fan of South Korea’s arguably most prolific director of all time, it’s fair to say I was anticipating his English-language debut Stoker with bated breath,…