God creates dinosaurs
God destroys dinosaurs
God creates Steven Spielberg
Steven Spielberg creates dinosaurs
Dinosaurs inspire man
Man destroys God
The Indie-to-Hollywood Conversion Factory creates Colin Trevorrow
Colin Trevorrow reverse-engineers a beloved childhood favorite and puts most of the pieces back in a satisfying, nostalgic and highly entertaining fashion, if also neglecting the importance of character and the great, oh-so-great value of Goldblumian acting capabilities.
Second-rate writers inherit the earth
What's It About?: Growing up.
Who's In it?: Patricia Arquette, Ethan Hawke, Ellar Coltrane, and Lorelei Linklater.
The Good: The kids. The cast. The characters. The direction. The idea. The writing. The music. The 35mm. The laughs. The pathos. The holy-shit-that's-my-life moments. Everything.
The Bad: It's a 3-hour film, but I wish it went on forever.
What Did I Learn?: I learned to feel…
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Though I found the war scenes and clips the most boring and almost intrusive, they were, I suppose, necessary to drive the urgency of the story. More effective, perhaps, would've been more scenes like the one that followed British citizens as they hid from an air-raid -- showing the daily and personal toll of the war. This story is definitely one best told on a small scale -- of the individual, and few, people who were behind an amazing feat.…
This is one of those movies where a guy is stuck in a time loop.
This is one of those movies where a guy is stuck in a time loop. And every time he redoes something, he learns a little.
This is one of those movies where a guy is stuck in a time loop. And every time he redoes something, he learns a little. It's also the rare summer blockbuster that is very well-written; funny, smart, and it all…
Warning! Contains spoilers … and rhymes … and grammatical abominations.
It’s late in December; again I must rhyme;
Becoming tradition at cold Christmastime.
It's Action film Friday; so what’s on the card?
There’s no other option; it must be Die Hard.
White knuckle McClane dislikes travel by air;
On landing evacuates quick with his bear
A party’s afoot; the firm’s Christmas affair;
Where ex Ms. McClane awaits John to be there.
Argyle, John’s ride, tries to draw out his fare;…
Miss Congeniality and The American as astronauts fighting to survive in mother fucking Space. The Macarena. Pretty blood-shot eyes. The fuckin' silence. Silly-ass Harvard grads. Tales of Mardi Gras. Bye-bye Facebook. DeFUCKIN'tachment. SPACESHIP! Houston, we have a huge-giant-ass-holy-fuckin'-fuck-shit-mother-fucker-fuck problem. A flashlight. The-face-of-death. Marvin the fuckin' Martian. The beautiful sunrise. Vodka. A game of Human-Pinball-Wizard. Fuckin' ropes. A Chinese lifeboat. Comfortably numb. Spaceship firefighting. Fuckin' Space. How the fuck do you say mayday in Kalaallisut? A pretty-pretty-so-pretty lullaby. Barking. A little…
"Strip Monopoly" might sound like a fun game but I can think of several problems with this mode of play. For one, this notion that players are to strip "instead of paying rent" - um, doesn't that negate Monopoly's entire in-game economy? Here's just one hypothetical scenario that shows the cracks in paying rent by stripping: Let's say I invest all of my money in building hotels on the orange properties (St. James Place, New York Avenue, and Tennessee Avenue,…
From the opening Warner Brothers logo, to its end credits, "Argo" is a fully-engrossing and remarkably accomplished piece of filmmaking. Director Ben Affleck assembles a film that pays attention to the smallest of details while delivering on a grand dramatic scale.
With both cinematography that adds a patina of grain to its naturalistic color palette and the film's immersive design details, the look of "Argo" is historically appropriate and eye-catching. The cast, led by a stoic Affleck and more-than-solid turns…
Astonishingly fresh, deft, weird and left-of-center, RANGO is a self-stylized 21st Century Western set in the world of desert-dwelling animals who think they're living in the world of Sergio Leone. Elegant motion-captured performances, bold and bizarre visual elements, stylish and tongue-firmly-stuck-in-bone-dry-cheek, RANGO is a film that isn't so much for modern animation fans as it's for fans who are sick of modern animation and its lowest-common-denominator-catering blandness.
Whimsical and witty with strong direction by Gore Verbinski (who seems to have…
Considering its plot, where a man named Gil travels through time to consult with the great masters he idolizes on the book he is writing, Midnight in Paris should overflow with imagination and whimsey. Instead, the film and the characters in it just kind of stumble along.
The modern day set of characters — Gil's fiancee, her friends, and her parents — are detestable nasty people. The 1920s set of characters — the great artists, authors, and thinkers Woody Allen…
There's a scene at the end of the first act of THE ARTIST in which silent film star George Valentin says to newcomer Peppy Miller "If you want to be an actress, you have to have something that the other's don't" or something to that effect. He then proceeds to draw a birthmark on her face with an eye-liner. That fake birthmark later becomes Peppy's "something", that which separates her from the crowd and eventually makes her into a star.…