RSS feed for Joe
  • Strays 1991

    ★½ Watched 06 Apr, 2014

    Cheap and dreadful tale of 'city folk' moving into a house previously occupied by a bunch of murderous cats. It's very reminiscent of Arachnophobia, but with cats.

    Kathleen Quinlan adds a bit of class to proceedings, but is sidelined for the finale, which is admittedly quite entertaining as it invokes memories of both Jaws 2 and hale and Pace. Honest.

  • Next of Kin 1982

    ★★★½ Watched 22 Mar, 2014

    Very low key but very creepy New Zealand horror about goings-on in a recently inherited nursing home.

    Very slow-burning, it builds to a wonderfully sustained 40 odd minute climax which is very unsettling.

  • Man of Steel 2013

    ★½ Watched 22 Mar, 2014

    Oh dear. When the best thing about your film is kevin Costner, you got problems. Lots of problems.

    I had very low expectations for this anyway, hence not seeing it until now, but even I was surprised at how messy and shallow it was.
    I'm no fan of Snyder but will defend the work he did on Watchmen and Dawn of the Dead. But whereas those two show what a good director he can be when he loves the source,…

  • Diamonds Are Forever 1971

    ★★ Rewatched 02 Mar, 2014

    Shocking... previously reviewed here

    I now rank this even lower than that review suggests.

  • Out for Justice 1991

    ★★ Rewatched 25 Feb, 2014

    Vern's Seagology book is making me want to re-assess the career of Mr Seagal. A bit.

    I'm a fan of both Under Seige movies (favouring the second one by a long way) but have never been particularly interested in anything else he's made, beyond the jaw dropping novelty of On Deadly Ground.

    ITV4 seem to working through most of back catalogue at the moment so decided to give Out For Justice a whirl, and within a few minutes I realised…

  • Pacific Rim 2013

    ★★ Watched 21 Feb, 2014

    No, sorry. Maybe I'm just not 'getting' it, but I thought Pacific Rim was dreadful. Awful script and woeful acting (in some cases from decent actors, in other cases from former Eastenders stars trying to do Australian accents) combined with a rare off day by Del Toro (bar a few glimpses of his usual genius) to create the most vacuous action movie for a long while.

    I've heard people argue that you have to understand it's in the tradition of…

  • White House Down 2013

    ★★½ Watched 02 Feb, 2014

    Fun, but over long and far too self-aware of its own ludicrousness to usurp the unintentionally hilarious Olympus Has Fallen as the better 'Die Hard in the White House' flick.

  • The World's End 2013

    ★★½ Watched 11 Jan, 2014

    Big disappointment.

    Some genius moments, but ultimately too indulgent and pleased with itself to be as wholly likeable and entertaining as Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz.

  • A Good Day to Die Hard 2013

    ★½ Watched 30 Dec, 2013

    Being one of the eight people who thought Die Hard 4 wasn't that bad and is actually pretty good action entertainment (even if the one thing it isn't is a Die Hard movie) I was more than prepared to give DH5 a fair crack of the whip. If it hadn't been released on Valentines Day I would even have paid hard earned to go to the cinema to watch it.

    As it was I finally caught up with iut over…

  • Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 2005

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 08 Dec, 2013

    Near perfect. But I can't decide which I love more: Shane Black's script or Michelle Monaghan in a sexy santa outfit.

  • Nativity! 2009

    ★★★ Rewatched 06 Dec, 2013

    Maybe I give this an easier ride than some being married to a long-suffering teacher who has a decade's worth of nativities behind her, but I like it.
    The only real problem I have is that it can't decide whether to be a film for small kids, a Glee-style family film, or a slightly edgy comedy. It's at it's best when it's at it's most realistic. Some of the scenes of Martin Freeman losing it and trying desperately not to…

  • Surviving Christmas 2004

    ★½ Watched 01 Dec, 2013

    Ben Affleck is a dick.
    He's such a dick he pays a family to pretend to be his family so he can have a perfect christmas.

    2013's yuletide viewing got off to a truly odd start with this forgotten rubbish which was so bad it didn't have a finished script, was pulled from it's original release date of Christmas 2003 and was dumped into about 3 cinemas the following October!

    Affleck is a millionaire marketing exec who following the advice…