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  • The Boy Next Door 2015


    Legitimately the worst movie I've ever seen in a theatre. Like Fatal Attraction had illicit poorly-shot sex with Plan 9. Rob Cohen is officially the worst filmmaker working today & I can't wait to see what idiotic garbage script he fucks up next with his toilet eye & deathly hands.

  • Blackhat 2015


    ghostman:// write sdksdk this movie is rad

Popular reviews

  • Alice in Wonderland 2010

    ½ Added 12

    Was Hook not a lesson to us all not to tamper with works of wonder? Tim Burton’s mystifyingly popular re-imagining of Lewis Carroll’s Alice stories does many things wrong even just on a surface level: that tedious Danny Elfman score; the weird obsession with violence against eyes; the torpor that infects everyone as they stand stiffly in front of green screens; the lazy cribbing from the Lord of the Rings films; introducing the amazing Mia Wazikowska to a wider audience…

  • Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World 2003

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 26 Mar, 2012 7

    Once more it turns up on Sky and I stop everything to watch it yet again. My second favourite movie of the Noughts, after The Incredibles. Pure joy from start to finish, impeccably made, inspiring and exciting and oh God I just want nineteen sequels why why is that suddenly too much to ask?!?!?