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  • La La Land

    La La Land


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A 130-minute-long remake of the Broadway Melody sequence from Singin' in the Rain, but set on the west coast and featuring a Coltrane reference. Luckily, I like Broadway Melody and Coltrane.

  • Gods of Egypt

    Gods of Egypt


    Lovable bollocks. Significantly better, more interesting, & more imaginative than Batman v Superman. I doubt there's any cinema still showing this, but if there's one near you, choose this instead. You'll thank me.

Popular reviews

  • Alice in Wonderland

    Alice in Wonderland


    Was Hook not a lesson to us all not to tamper with works of wonder? Tim Burton’s mystifyingly popular re-imagining of Lewis Carroll’s Alice stories does many things wrong even just on a surface level: that tedious Danny Elfman score; the weird obsession with violence against eyes; the torpor that infects everyone as they stand stiffly in front of green screens; the lazy cribbing from the Lord of the Rings films; introducing the amazing Mia Wazikowska to a wider audience…

  • Agora



    Alejandro Amenábar’s ambitious, big-budget biopic of philosopher Hypatia – The Passion of the Christ for atheists – struggled to find distributors around the world, was dumped into cinemas with barely any publicity, and was criticised by Catholic groups in Spain for defaming Christianity: the polar opposite of Mel Gibson’s berserk Passion Play. Who knows why audiences didn’t connect with this tragic epic: it has the requisite visual wow-factor, moves at a clip, and is easily accessible.

    Perhaps no one wants…