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  • Forever

    Forever 2005

    Watched 17 Jul, 2015

    Not really though, the thing I watched was a Greek film called 4Ever.

  • The Flying Scotsman

    The Flying Scotsman 2006

    ★★★½ Watched 27 Jun, 2015

    The film I actually watched was documentary Battle Mountain: Graeme Obree's Story, screened at Edinburgh International Film Festival, but that's not on the tracker currently and I can't be bothered adding it.

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  • Prometheus

    Prometheus 2012

    ★★ Watched 01 Jun, 2012

    The marketing campaign, with its beautifully realised virals, didn't set a foot wrong but it turns out all the filmmakers' artistry was employed in getting us to buy a ticket with very little left over for the main event. It's not all dreadful - the initial set-up has a certain something, Fassbender is terrific fun as a fey robot and Noomi Rapace is a remarkably sturdy heroine given how little she has to work with. But there's no story here to speak of and the tension generated as a result is negligible. What a missed opportunity.

  • The Believers

    The Believers 1987

    ★½ Watched 04 Nov, 2012 15

    Director John Schlesinger slices the ham extra thick for this nonsensical, justly forgotten schlockfest about a Voodoo-ish religion taking over New York's cognoscenti. Written by Mark Frost, who went on to co-create Twin Peaks, and adapted from a novel called The Religion, you can imagine throughout the sort of turgid prose this began life as. Keen not to appear racist the film indiscriminately demonises all religions, various ethnic minorities, rich people, bleeding heart liberals, middle-aged single females and, most hilariously, milk.