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  • V/H/S 2012

    ★★ Watched 29 Aug, 2014


    A horror compendium in which anyone with a vagina is a potential aggressor and anyone who can work After Effects is a veritable alchemist.

    30% creepily effective / 70% utterly retarded

    I've seen all these directors equip themselves much better when not egged on by their mates.

  • The Paperboy 2012

    ★★½ Watched 18 Jul, 2014

    Truly bizarre. I've never seen such amateurish work pass as mainstream entertainment before. It's frequently enjoyable and the cast seem to be having a good time but too often the film's ramshackle charm becomes sheer technical ineptitude. Macy Gray (giving the film's standout performance) goes from providing an explanatory voiceover under the guise of an interview to just narrating the film, referring to what 'we see'. And God knows how hard the editor had to work to salvage the monumentally mishandled denouement.

Popular reviews

  • Prometheus 2012

    ★★ Watched 01 Jun, 2012

    The marketing campaign, with its beautifully realised virals, didn't set a foot wrong but it turns out all the filmmakers' artistry was employed in getting us to buy a ticket with very little left over for the main event. It's not all dreadful - the initial set-up has a certain something, Fassbender is terrific fun as a fey robot and Noomi Rapace is a remarkably sturdy heroine given how little she has to work with. But there's no story here to speak of and the tension generated as a result is negligible. What a missed opportunity.

  • The Believers 1987

    ★½ Watched 04 Nov, 2012 15

    Director John Schlesinger slices the ham extra thick for this nonsensical, justly forgotten schlockfest about a Voodoo-ish religion taking over New York's cognoscenti. Written by Mark Frost, who went on to co-create Twin Peaks, and adapted from a novel called The Religion, you can imagine throughout the sort of turgid prose this began life as. Keen not to appear racist the film indiscriminately demonises all religions, various ethnic minorities, rich people, bleeding heart liberals, middle-aged single females and, most hilariously, milk.