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  • Identity Thief 2013

    ½ Watched 07 Mar, 2013 5

    I cannot fully express how much I hated this movie and how painful it was to sit through. It's supposedly a comedy, but none of the jokes are funny. I chuckled once at the very beginning for an Ayn Rand/Fountainhead joke from Jon Favreau and at the very end when Melissa McCarthy is talking to the kids. That's it.

    It's so incompetent, so boring and sooooo looonnnnngggggg, that I considered walking out about three different times. It takes a lot…

  • After Earth 2013

    Watched 30 May, 2013 2

    A gigantic, boring, ugly, nonsensical, poorly written, directed and acted piece of shit vanity project.

    Apparently, in the future (a mere 1000 years or so), evolution has turned Earth back over to the dinosaurs and while humanity has mastered lightspeed and deep space homing beacons, we still fight with pointy sticks.

    M. Night Shyamalan literally does almost nothing interesting, although to be fair to him, this is sub-par material from the start. Jaden Smith is asked to do things he…

  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 09 Apr, 2014

    Boy, I seem to have boxed myself into a corner by being so generous to the Thor movies (both of them). Frankly, I think both Captain America movies blow those out of the water (probably the Iron Man films as well, in hindsight) and honestly are on par more with The Avengers than any of the other MCU installments. Personally, I think I slightly prefer the more art deco, comic book-y style and spirit of The First Avenger and the…

  • In the Loop 2009

    ★★★★★ Watched 13 Sep, 2013 3

    Probably the most quotable movie you shouldn't quote in good company. Unless they're awesome.

    God, what a movie.

  • American Hustle 2013

    ★★ Watched 14 Jan, 2014 2

    You all have been hoodwinked by a plethora of con men, both fictional and real. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

    What a mess.

  • The Wolf of Wall Street 2013

    ★★★★½ Watched 06 Jan, 2014

    3 things I immediately take from THE WOLF OF WALL STREET:

    1.) There is perhaps more movie bang-for-the-buck in this than any other movie I've seen in the last year. There's just so much movie here, it's bursting at the seams.

    2.) The only way WOLF promotes or glorifies Jordan Belfort and what goes on in the film is if you find any or all of it appealing. There is so much drug use, I gagged a bit towards the…

  • Her 2013

    ★★★★½ Watched 12 Oct, 2013

    Honestly, I can't even fully process Spike Jonze's latest. I will say, it is astounding that Hollywood studios can release garbage week after week, month after month...and then give the green light to something like Spike Jonze's Her. Kudos to Jonze, Joaquin Phoenix, Scarlett Johansson, Megan Ellison (the fairy godmother of American cinema right now) and yes, even you Warner Bros. I feel bad for all of you who have to wait another 2-3 months to see it. It is most definitely one of the year's best.

  • Prisoners 2013

    ★★ Watched 23 Sep, 2013 2

    Deakins is awesome as always. Everything else is drivel.

    I wondered what it would be, but I've found that one 2013 movie everybody seems to love and I can't stand. Is Prisoners beautiful to look at, with Roger Deakins' cinematography basically classing up a pulpy thriller? Yeah. Does that alone absolve the rest of the film's flaws? Nope.

    Miscasting, hideous performances, telegraphed twists, ridiculous plot holes, pedestrian direction, borderline laughable clues and symbolism with a running time that's about twice…

  • Frances Ha 2012

    ★★★★½ Watched 19 Dec, 2013

    I don't remember the last movie I saw that was perched so perilously on the edge between satisfying masterpiece and self-satisfied misfire. Yet Baumbach and Gerwig manage to keep the train on the rails and deliver a wonderful, humorous, awkward, touching ode to twenty-somethings, solipsistic dreamers, Brooklyn hipsters and the socially awkward (some might say stunted).

  • Before Midnight 2013

    ★★★★★ Watched 03 Dec, 2013 8

    Yeah...so that's how that's done. Why did I wait so long to watch this? Perhaps I was secretly afraid it wouldn't measure up to its predecessors? Well, nobody's perfect. Not even Celine or Jesse.

    I could watch these three make movies until the end of time and be happy.

  • Pan's Labyrinth 2006

    ★★★★★ Added

    One of my favorite movies. Great mix of fantasy and horror. Also one of the most beautiful and visually stunning works of the 21st century. A great adult fable.

  • Gloria 2013

    ★★★½ Watched 18 Mar, 2014

    A nice, if unspectacular, character study, which is perhaps a bit too limited to the scope of the character's loneliness and desire for social interaction and wanting more out of life. Much of it is good and needed in an industry that rarely cares to portray this type of character with any sort of genuine empathy, however, it all too often feels like a rough draft or cut; some scenes seem to indicate threads that ultimately don't go anywhere while the conclusion, in particular, feels too easy. Paulina García, however, is phenomenal. Worth watching for her performance alone.